Doors & Windows & Faith
by samekraemer
Summary: The road less traveled was the path on which Edward Cullen was walking. As his mentor had told him, it wasn't for everyone, and as the day approached to make a lifelong commitment, he knew that it wasn't right for him. Full summary inside.
1. Chapter 1

**Full Summary: **_The road less traveled was the path on which Edward Cullen was walking. As his mentor had told him, it wasn't for everyone, and as the day approached to make a lifelong commitment, he knew that it wasn't right for him. A flight home to explain his decision to his loved ones put him in the seat next to someone who would change his path forever._

_AH/OOC/Canon couples/EPOV and BPOV/NC-17 for language and future adult situations. _

_**A/N: I put forth yet another story for your consideration. I hope you embrace it. I'll wait to determine a posting schedule until I see if there's any interest. My other stories will continue because I never begin posting a story before I've finished it. I leave it to you whether I continue to post it.**_

_**Stephanie Meyer owns all Twilight characters. I own nothing.**_

_**\\\**_

_Chapter 1. The Life Examined_

EDWARD

"Is this because you've realized your gay?" Emmett asked as me as he drove me to the airport for the trek back home to explain my sudden life change to my parents. I knew that when he told me my sister was at a conference but he'd take off from work and make the drive from Philadelphia to pick me up, it wouldn't go unpunished. For a week I'd endured his questions and scrutiny, and I was actually glad to be boarding a plane just to get away from him. He delighted in shocking me on a regular basis, and my nerves were raw because of it.

"I'm not gay, as I've told you for years. I realized that I was doing it for the wrong reasons and I couldn't go through with it. I don't expect you to understand, okay?" I responded with apparent agitation in my voice.

"Wait, you didn't do anything with a kid…" he began.

"_No_, you idiot. My reasons have absolutely nothing to do with sex, okay? It wasn't right for me, and I just couldn't make a promise that I knew I wasn't completely happy about. Let it go," I ordered as he pulled into the departures lane at the airport. I got out and grabbed my suitcase and backpack, turning to see him standing on the curb next to me.

"Look, I don't get it. You've been heading toward this your whole life from what I've been told, and now, when you're about ready to take the final step, you bail? That's not you at all. What happened?" Emmett asked.

I wished I could give him a simple sound-bite answer, but it was far more complicated than I could explain at the curb of the airport in Philly. I had no answer for anyone except that it just didn't feel right. As the time approached for me to take the final vow, I couldn't see myself living the life with the enthusiasm and commitment that I knew would be required to do it justice. It wasn't something one entered into half-heartedly, and if I was being honest, I wasn't even invested with a quarter of my heart.

I _did_ have a desire to help people, but I didn't see how I could be an inspirational leader when I wasn't sure of my own beliefs. It wasn't that I doubted the existence of God, because I didn't. My crisis of faith was more because I just didn't believe that the sacrifice and limitation that was required to take the next step was the only way to serve. I didn't believe that a benevolent God would demand that a man give up everything in order to serve Him faithfully. That was the part of my decision that flew in the face of everything I'd learned my whole life.

"Emmett, I appreciate the ride. I'm not sure where my life is going, but I know that you'll remain my friend through all of it. Once I get a handle on a good explanation, you'll be the second to know. Take care of my sister," I told him as I hugged him at the curb and walked away.

"Hey! Take yourself off of that pussy embargo you've been on your whole life. Maybe you'll get some answers then," he yelled behind me. I saw everyone around me turn to look at him and then look at me. I shook my head and walked away without a comment. As a parting shot, it was something I completely expected from my brother-in-law.

After I checked in and collected my boarding pass, I went to the gate area and sat down with a travel magazine I'd found at the newsstand. One thing about which I was passionate was taking pictures. I'd had the itch my entire life, and I found travel magazines fascinating. One picture could convey so much more than a thousand-word essay, not that I didn't appreciate the written word because I also loved to read.

I'd often locked myself in my room at the seminary and read for hours when I wasn't required to be doing something else. It made the time less lonely for me because I could get lost in a book and escape the thoughts that I wasn't ready to accept at the time.

Once I couldn't block the biggest question of _why_ I was doing it from my mind any longer, I knew that I couldn't go through with taking my vows, so I went to my mentor, Father Christopher, and we talked for hours. I explained my position to him, and he tried to talk me out of it by suggesting that I go on a silent retreat and reflect on the decision before I did anything rash. I knew in my heart that a change of scenery wasn't going to change my mind. It wasn't right for me, and once I realized it, I couldn't lock away the doubt any longer.

I said good-bye to my brothers at the seminary in Emmitsburg, and I went to stay with my sister and brother-in-law for a week before I was ready to go back to Washington to face my parents. I knew they'd be disappointed because my mother was quite proud that her only son was going to be the first priest in the family. She'd tell anyone who'd listen to her, and it was always with a look of pride on her face. I hated the idea that I was about to turn that look to one of shame, but it was my life and I had to do what was right for me.

I had no immediate plans for a career, which I knew would just be another level of disappointment for my parents, but I had plans that maybe I'd travel and take pictures for a while to give myself time to sort out my head. I'd been told that if I arrived at the realization that it was only a mild case of nerves and I wanted to come back, I'd be welcomed with open arms. I thanked them, but I didn't believe it to be nerves at all.

The first leg of the flight, I was happily alone in my row. There was a short stop in Phoenix and then I would be in Washington, and I had no clearer idea of what to tell my parents than when I'd got on the plane in Philadelphia. As I was sitting with my eyes closed in the aisle seat of the plane, I felt a soft tap on my right shoulder. I opened my eyes to see a young woman standing next to me with a sheepish smile on her face. "Sorry to wake you, but I've got the window," she informed as she pointed to the empty seat next to me.

I quickly rose from my seat to allow her to enter, and once she was settled, I sat back down, buckling my seatbelt again. I watched her out of the corner of my eye and saw her nervously fumbling with her purse and a carry-on bag.

She pulled a book from her bag and placed a bottle of water in the seat pocket in front of her. I saw her close her eyes and swallow hard as the doors to the cabin closed, and when the engines powered up and the plane moved back from the gate, I saw her gripping the arm rests so tightly that her knuckles were white. As the plane taxied to its position in line for take-off, I saw a tear roll down her right cheek, and I couldn't hold my tongue any longer.

"Miss, I'm sorry to bother you, but are you okay?" I asked. She didn't appear to be okay in the least.

She turned to look at me with a watery smile, and she reached up and wiped the tears. "I'm sorry. I'm petrified to fly, and I didn't have time to get my prescription filled for a mild sedative. I'll be fine once we're in the air, it's just that it's the first time I've actually flown by myself, and I'm kind of freaking out. I promise, I won't throw up or anything," she assured.

I quickly assessed the situation and determined that if I didn't want her freaking out on me, perhaps I needed to distract her. "Hi, I'm Edward. You're…?" I asked as I extended my right hand to shake hers.

She took it gently and squeezed a little, not immediately letting go. "I'm Bella. I feel sorry for you having to sit next to me. You seem like a nice person, and I'm probably going to be a complete basket case. I'll ask the flight attendant if there's an empty row on the plane. It doesn't seem to be very full, and I can have my panic attack without bothering you," she responded quietly.

I didn't think she was kidding, but if she was going to have a full-blown panic attack, I knew we'd be making an emergency landing somewhere for the air marshals to remove her, and as much as I wasn't in a hurry to get home, I didn't want a lengthy layover in Boise, Idaho.

"Now, that's silly. Let's talk. Is Washington your final destination?" I asked as she continued to hold onto my hand. For the sake of comfort, I pulled my right hand away and took hers with my left, squeezing it gently to let her know that I was there for her.

She smiled brightly and responded, "It is. I'm going home to a job in La Push. Have you ever heard of it?"

"I have, actually. My parents, who I'm going to visit, live in Forks. I assume you've heard of it since it's not that far from the reservation. What kind of job are you going to take there?" I asked as the plane continued to taxi to the end of the runway.

"I'm going to teach at the reservation school. I just got my certification from the University of Arizona. I'm excited because it will be my first official teaching job," she remarked, seeming to forget what was going on with the flight. I felt the plane turn, and I knew that we were about to take off, so I held her hand tightly and pressed on.

"That sounds exciting. What are you going to teach?" I asked as I heard the engines rev up, signaling that we would be airborne rather quickly.

She swallowed hard as she realized what was about to happen, and I reached my right hand over and covered her right hand that I held in my left. "It's going to be fine. Listen to the sound of my voice and look into my eyes. Now, what's your specialty?" I asked again.

"Um, fourth grade. I have a degree in elementary education. I did my student teaching at an inner city school in Phoenix, and I loved it. Kids that age are so eager to learn. They haven't actually been tainted yet, but they've gone through enough school to be eager. The challenge of keeping them engaged is like a rush for me. When they understand things, it makes me happier than anything I've ever experienced in my life," she answered brightly.

We were in the air, and she didn't seem to notice it, so I kept her talking. "Do you have family there?" I asked. She didn't look Native American, and as I looked at her, I could see that she was a beautiful young woman. She was probably about twenty-four, so she was two years' younger than me, and she had a certain fire about her that was a rarity for a teacher in my experience.

I'd dealt with jaded teachers at parish schools where I'd been assigned from time to time, and none of them seemed to have the fire that the young woman sitting next to me exuded. Maybe it was just the excitement of her first job, but she didn't strike me as the kind of woman who would allow anyone to dampen her love for her chosen profession.

"You seem to be quite passionate about your new path, and it's really refreshing to see. So many people get bogged down and lose that initial spark with regard to their careers. I really hope that you keep that flash in you because if you do, you'll be quite the inspiration to your students," I observed.

"That's very kind of you. So, Edward, what do you do?" she asked. Oh, that was quite a question. I certainly wasn't ready to say, "Well, up until a week ago, I was going to be a priest and likely go to Africa to teach," so I decided to go with a simpler answer that wasn't exactly a lie.

"Right now, I'm in the middle of making some changes in my life. I was on a path that I decided wasn't exactly right for me, so instead of making a mistake that I was certain I'd regret, I decided that I'd take some time and re-evaluate my life and make some decisions. I'm on my way to my parents' home to do just that," I answered.

The flight attendant came by with drinks, and I ordered a beer while Bella ordered Bloody Mary mix. I paid for my beer and took the can from the woman, having let go of Bella's hand. I held my can up toward her after she'd poured her drink, and I offered, "Here's to new beginnings." We touched drinks and sipped. She giggled and wiped her mouth, giving me a big smile which was only one that a calm person could have given.

"So, will you live on the reservation?" I asked as we chatted, my magazine long forgotten.

"No. I'm not Quileute, so I'll live in Forks. My father actually lives there, so I'll stay with him until I find a place of my own. I haven't seen him in a while, so I hope it'll be a chance for the two of us to reconnect. My parents divorced when I was in high school, but I spent summers and Christmases with my father. We get along okay; it's just that we don't know each other very well. What about you?" she asked. It was certainly a fair question.

"Um, I'm not sure how long I'll stay in Forks. I need to decide on a career path, and actually do it pretty soon, so I'm not sure if anything in Forks will meet my needs," I answered, feeling the levity of my situation hit me.

"Oh, did you go to college?" she asked.

"I, uh, I went to a Catholic university. I double majored in English and Theology with a minor in Music," I replied honestly.

"So, then, are you going to teach? I mean, with a degree in English and Theology, unless you're going to be a priest, I don't see anything except teaching as an option," she joked. She was closer to the truth than she knew.

"I haven't actually settled on it. I like to take pictures, so I might pursue that as a career. I've had an opportunity in my life to travel a bit and take pictures. It's sort of a hobby, but it's something I'd consider as a potential career," I responded honestly while deftly evading the reference to the priesthood. I certainly wasn't ready to confess to a stranger on a plane something that I hadn't yet explained to my parents.

"That's quite interesting. Have you been anywhere exotic to take your pictures?" she asked.

"I took a few trips where I was able to get some interesting photos. Nothing major, mind you, but enough to actually whet my appetite for travel and photojournalism," I told her as the realization hit me.

I could take some time and travel, taking pictures that perhaps I could sell to some of my beloved travel magazines. I had money that I hadn't done anything with since it was left to me by my grandparents, and since I hadn't taken the vow of poverty, I wouldn't have to live by the promise. I'd have to live frugally because it wasn't millions, but I'd learned to live a simple life, so I could probably make it last for six-months or so if I was careful. It was something to consider.

We continued to chat about everyday things of which I'd lost touch. I didn't recognize some of the music she referred to enjoying, and the recent movie references were lost on me. It wasn't as though I didn't have access to television, it was just that I chose to spend my free time alone either studying or reading some of the classics. I preferred it far more than watching some mundane television show. The exception was college basketball and football. We all seemed to make time for sports.

I'd also spent a lot of time in the chapel praying for guidance. My fingers had callouses from running the Rosary beads through them as I tried to figure out the right thing to do. The only answer I ever received was that I was about to make a decision that wasn't right for me. That was what had me on that plane that day.

The popping in my ears alerted me to the fact that we were on descent into Sea-Tac. The time had gone by much faster than I'd expected. I looked out the window to see the skyline, and I happened to notice that my seat companion was once again, white knuckling the arm rests.

I grabbed her hand again, and said, "It's going to be fine. Give me your hand." She reluctantly released the arm rest and took my hand, squeezing it and closing her eyes.

"If you could travel anywhere in the world, where would you go?" I tossed out thoughtlessly.

She opened her eyes and turned to look at me with a small smile. "Um, I think I'd go to Italy. I've seen photos and it appears to be so beautiful. There's art, history, culture. I'd love to see the Colosseum. I think it would be quite inspiring," she answered.

"I've been to Italy before. It's all of those things and more. St. Peter's is incredible, and the piazzas in Rome are certainly something not to be missed as well," I responded. I'd been there, not exactly on vacation, but I could offer my two cents.

"I'll take that into consideration should I ever find myself flush with cash. Thank you, Edward, for trying to keep me from losing my head on this flight. I can honestly say that your calming presence and your interesting conversation kept me engaged enough not to think…" she began just as we touched down. I saw her eyes slam shut and felt her squeeze my hand tightly, which I easily returned.

As soon as the plane slowed and began taxiing to the gate, she let go of my hand, which surprisingly, wasn't exactly to my liking. I wasn't sure why, so I didn't dwell on it. As soon as the seatbelt light was off, everyone began scrambling to gather their bags from the overhead bins. Bella scooted across me, which caused my mind to go in a direction that I'd not allowed in a very long time, and when she reached into the overhead bin to pull down her suitcase, I was face to face with her bare midriff as her t-shirt rode up.

I felt my face flush, and I reached down for my backpack and grabbed my travel magazine from the pouch in front of me to keep from dwelling on the fact that she was _that_ close. It was something I didn't need clouding my brain, and I truly wondered what was wrong with me that I'd allowed such thoughts to enter my head.

Maybe my decision to leave the seminary had opened a door to my psyche that I'd closed long ago, but with what I was facing with dealing with my parents, it was the last thing I needed on my mind.

After we filed off the plane, I turned to Bella to wish her the best of luck in her life, planning to never see her again. "Good luck with your new position. I'm certain that you'll be quite successful. You have a fresh enthusiasm that I'm certain your students will enjoy. God's blessings upon you," I told her as I shook her hand.

I could see the startled expression on her face at my comment and I immediately knew why. I wasn't going to apologize for it because it was something that had come naturally to me for a long time, so I simply smiled at her and turned to leave. I glanced back at her and saw her smiling in my direction, which warmed my heart.

I arrived at the rental car counter and claimed the car that I'd borrowed money from my sister to rent because my parents didn't know I was on my way home. Just as I was about to leave the airport, I saw Bella talking to a cab driver in what appeared to be a rather heated discussion. As much as I'd have liked to just driven away, something inside me wouldn't let me do it, so I pulled over and climbed out of the rental. "Is there a problem?" I asked as I walked up to the two of them.

"My dad can't pick me up, so I'm trying to negotiate a price with this man to take me to Forks. He seems to think it's worth a couple of hundred dollars," she snapped, appearing angry.

"Lady, I told you, it's eight hours out of my day to haul you there and come back to town. I could easily make twice as much as the price I quoted you, but I'm tryin' to be a nice guy. I doubt you'll get anyone else to do it for less. I can give you a ride to the bus station, which is really your best bet," the man instructed.

I saw her face cringe at the thought, and I couldn't help myself but laugh. "We're going to the same place so how about we share a ride. I'll split the gas with you," I told her without much thought.

She looked at the car and laughed. "It's a Prius. There won't be much gas to split."

"Well, fars the better for the both of us. Come on, let's get going," I announced as I opened the hatch and loaded her suitcase in the back beside mine.

I had no idea what I was doing at that point, but I'd always had a penchant for helping people, and in that moment, she was someone who needed help, or that was what I was telling myself. The voice in the back of my head was telling me that I had ulterior motives because I didn't want to be away from her, but I wasn't giving him a lot of traction that evening.

We pulled onto the highway, and she turned on the radio, finding a station to her liking. It wasn't entirely unpleasant, so I didn't protest. An hour into our drive, she reached up and turned down the volume, turning in her seat a little to face me. I only knew it because I'd been watching her out of the corner of my eye during the entire drive.

"So, is it a broken heart that you're going home to nurse?" she asked as she fidgeted with her hands.

My mind swirled with how to answer her because I knew that she thought my broken heart was at the hands of a woman, while the truth was that it was because I was letting go of a _certain _future for an _uncertain_ one. It did break my heart to leave the seminary because it was safe there. Once I decided to leave it, there was a big, bad world out there that I wasn't sure I was ready to take on. I was scared and excited at the same time but I wasn't ready to confess it to a stranger.

"In a sense, I guess it is. It's more of a change of direction that I'm uncertain about that worries me. It has nothing to do with a broken romance, _per se_, rather a broken …hell, I don't know. I won't say it was my dream, because it wasn't, but it was a future that I'd accepted for a long time and now it's gone. Maybe it's that I realize that my safe little world that I'd created wasn't what I wanted it to be. Maybe that's what gave you the impression that I was nursing a broken heart," I answered honestly…almost. I'd confessed the feelings I was feeling without the real reason behind them, but it was more than I actually wanted to give her.

She seemed to have a way about her that coaxed information out of me, and I chalked it up to my lack of experience with actually dealing with women on more than a cursory basis. It was the first time I'd had a conversation of the sort with a woman, and I was completely out of my element.

"I hope you can find some kind of peace about it. I know how it is to think things are going to go one way when they abruptly go another. It's disheartening, but you know, doors and windows," she replied.

"Doors and windows?" I asked curiously.

"God never closes a door that he doesn't open a window. I'm sure you've heard the expression. You went to Catholic schools, didn't you?" she asked.

"All-male Catholic schools, as a matter of fact. Do I wear the guilt like armor?" I joked.

"One guilt-riddled Catholic can easily spot another. You're a kind soul so I'd guess there's a lot more to your story than what you're willing to tell a complete stranger, and I respect it but I have to tell you that I think you're a good person. You might not feel it right now, but someday, hopefully, you'll feel it," she replied. With that, she turned the radio up a bit, and the next time I glanced her way, she was asleep.

When I entered the city limits, I reached over and gently squeezed her arm to wake her. She opened her eyes and turned to me, showing me the biggest, brownest eyes I'd ever gazed into and she smiled sleepily. "Sorry. I always fall asleep in the car. Oh, we're here. Um, take a turn onto Fifth, and then the first left. My father's house is three down on the left," she guided.

I followed her directions, and pulled up in front of a yellow house. There were no cars in the driveway, and I wondered about how she'd get in. "Um, do you need to call someone?" I asked.

She laughed. "My dad's the Chief of Police. He never locks the door. Thank you for giving me a ride. Here's my half of the gas. I hope you find your peace, Edward. I believe _you_, more than anyone I've met in my life, deserve peace. My dad's in the book, by the way, under 'Swan'. If you find yourself in need of a friend to talk to, I hope you'll count me as one. Take care of yourself," she offered as she hopped out of the car and walked to the back, opening the hatch and grabbing her bag. She quickly went to the porch and turned to wave at me before she disappeared inside.

I drove away thinking about her more than I should have. I needed to think about my next stop because that was going to be more difficult to handle than anything I'd dealt with before. Disappointing my parents was never something I'd set out to do, but I knew it was what I was going to do that evening. I felt guiltier about it than anything I'd ever done in my life, including leaving the seminary.

##

I pulled into the driveway of my parents' home and stopped at the entrance. I got out of the car and paced for a few minutes trying to get my head together because I couldn't stop myself from thinking about Bella Swan.

I didn't want to think about her, knowing I had enough to deal with, but her kind words kept circling my head. Her reminder of "door and windows" kept flashing like a neon light. It certainly wasn't the first time I'd ever heard the old proverb, but it was the first time it had actually resonated with me.

If, indeed, God didn't close a door that he didn't provide a window, I needed to figure out what my window was, and I needed to figure it out before I walked up to my parents front porch and announced that their model son wasn't going to follow the path that they'd so emphatically pushed.

My parents were good people, and why they'd ever determined that I was priestly material was an unknown to me, but maybe something Emmett had said made a little more sense.

I didn't date in high school or college, and I supposed that there was a distinct possibility that my parents thought I was gay. I knew that their Catholic upbringing left no room in their minds to accept a gay son, so maybe they thought if I took a vow of chastity it was something that wouldn't ever come up.

While I was chaste, I wasn't gay, but I also wasn't cut out to live the life of a priest, sacrificing everything for the greater cause of serving the Church while I was uncertain about the reasons behind it all. My own sexuality wasn't really something that I'd ever given much thought to because girls really never took an interest in me when I was in college, and I was sure it was because I was almost terminally shy.

I had an older sister who apparently got all of the confidence in the family, and the fact that girls scared me to death only made me the subject of ridicule when I was growing up. My sister intimidated the hell out of me, and I supposed that somewhere along the way, I determined that all girls were like her so I simply put them out of my mind.

Until that flight from Phoenix, Arizona, to Seattle, Washington, and then the car ride to Forks, Washington, I thought women were the most foreign beings on the planet. Bella Swan changed my opinion, and while I couldn't process that possibility, I couldn't discount it either. I simply had to put it out of my mind and deal with the matter at hand…the complete devastation I was about to subject upon my parents.

I climbed back into the car and finished the drive to the house, grabbing my bag and ringing the bell. I had a key, but I was unannounced, and I certainly didn't want to scare them to death by just waltzing in when I was supposed to be across the country preparing to take my vows. They were set to fly out the next week for the Mass, and that was a trip they wouldn't be taking.

I took one final breath before the door was opened and I hoped and prayed that things would be fine. It was certainly a great unknown, and it wasn't one about which I was happy.


	2. Chapter 2

_**A/N: I am humbled by your response to the first chapter. Thank you so much. I'll post every few days. I hope you'll continue to stick with me. The story line is a little different, but it's got its light moments as well, I promise. **_

_**SMeyer owns all Twilight characters. No infringement intended.**_

_**So, time to meet the parents. Meet me at the bottom and I think I'll answer a few questions.**_

_**\\\**_

2. The Exploration of a New Path

EDWARD

The knock on my bedroom door pulled me from my evening prayers. It was a habit that I'd gotten into over many years, and I wasn't used to being interrupted. The prayers that night weren't the usual recitations; they were prayers for guidance regarding my future. They were prayers asking for guidance toward that window that Bella Swan had mentioned. They were prayers about why, at that particular moment in time when I was at my most vulnerable, why had _that_ woman sat down on _that_ plane next to me and why had I given her a ride from the airport to her father's home.

It was something that was eating at me, and I didn't understand it. I'd never had _those_ feelings before…those feelings of longing to see her again. I'd never wanted to see a woman again in my life, but a mere few hours with Bella Swan had left me longing, and it wasn't anything I could understand.

"Come in," I called as I rose from my knees next to the bed and deposited my Rosary onto the nightstand.

I turned to see my father standing there looking as upset as he had when I'd explained the reason for showing up at their door without warning. My mother had gone to bed after many tears when I'd explained my appearance, and my father, a successful doctor of emergency medicine, had sat there stone silent.

It wasn't a surprise because I was very much like my dad. I would stew on things for a long time, just as my father would, so I knew if he was at my door, he was ready to ask his questions. I only hoped I had answers for him.

"I'm sorry to interrupt you. It can wait until morning," he responded as I sat down on the side of my childhood bed.

"No, please, don't wait. I know this is a shock, and I know that Mom isn't taking it well, but Dad, I've thought about it for a long time, and I just can't, in good conscience, go through with it," I reiterated what I'd told them earlier.

He sat down and placed his hand on my shoulder. "I know it's not quite the same thing, but I remember wanting to drop out of med school. It was all that my father wanted for me, and I determined I didn't want it for myself, so I was going to drop out. I took a summer off, and I figured out that I actually wanted to be a doctor and my doubts stemmed solely from the fact that your grandfather was insistent that it was my responsibility to carry on the family legacy. I went back to school and finished, and then I began my residency.

"I love my profession, even if I resented it for a while, but I think if I hadn't taken the time away, I'd despise it. Maybe that's what you need to do. Take some time away and see if you've made the right decision. I'm not saying you'll come to the same conclusion that I did, but what I can tell you is that I'll support you in whatever decision you reach, and your Mom will come around, but take the time and look at it before you completely discard it.

"You've been so focused and driven but maybe you've burned out and need to regroup. I'm just saying that whatever you need, we're here for you, one way or the other," he concluded.

He rose from the bed and walked to the door, but I felt like I needed to punctuate a point that I'd hit on earlier in the evening that I was sure that neither of them believed. I swallowed my pride and said, "Dad, I know that you two don't believe me because I can see it on your faces, but I swear to you, and you know I don't do that lightly, I'm not gay."

He turned to me and chuckled. "Son, I never thought you were." With that, he walked away and left me alone. I climbed into bed and fell asleep, feeling completely exhausted. I wished that my sleep would be restful, but I didn't hold out a lot of hope. What I didn't expect were big brown eyes and a bright smile to haunt me. It was completely unexpected.

##

I walked back into the house on Sunday morning and heard my parents arguing. It wasn't what I wanted to hear, but it was what I expected. "He's making a mess of his life. He was cut out to be a priest, and I think he needs direction. I'm going to call Father Chris and invite him to come for a visit. We'll pay his way," I heard Mom announce.

"Esme, the boy…correction, _man_…is twenty-six years old, and if it's not for him, then it's not for him. I'm pretty sure that the decision wasn't made lightly, so let it go. He'll figure things out for himself. You need to let go of the fact that you can't run his life any longer before you alienate him. I'm pretty sure being home right now is just a stopping point for him. I don't think he's going to stay here permanently. He's got a bit of a restless spirit, and he'll figure it out. Let it go," my dad ordered.

I was determined that I wasn't going to allow anything to ruin my good mood. I'd gone to early Mass and had actually run into Bella Swan there. We sat together, and when it was time for the sign of peace, she gave me a hug, which I truly needed. After church, I spoke with Father George who had already heard from Father Chris, and he told me that if I wanted to talk, he was available which I appreciated. I got more comfort from the hug I received from Bella Swan than his words, but I was keeping that to myself.

"Mom, I know you're completely disappointed in me but I've already talked to Father Chris, and I've made up my mind. I'm sorry that you don't agree with me but it's my decision, after all. I've decided to pull some money from my trust and take a trip. I'm not sure where I'm going but I'll keep in touch. I'm leaving as soon as I can make some arrangements," I announced unplanned. It was a quick decision, but I couldn't be there with her trying to force the decision down my throat. I needed space.

"Edward, please, wait. We need to talk. This is all just so unexpected. Please don't leave. We'll figure this out as a family," she called.

I stopped my ascent on the stairs and walked back into the kitchen where she was standing at the stove making breakfast, having attended Mass on Saturday evening before I'd shown up unexpectedly. I never understood why they preferred Saturday night Mass, but it was their way, and I guessed it was because my father didn't usually have to work on Sundays so they wanted the day to themselves.

When I thought about it, I could see where a married couple would actually want a day to themselves, and suddenly, I felt like I was intruding on their private time. I knew I needed to get out of the house for two reasons. They needed their routine, and I needed to think. I didn't know where I'd go but I could always go for a hike, and that actually sounded like a good idea. First, though, I needed to deal with my mother.

"Mom, I love you with all of my heart. You and Dad have been wonderful parents, but this decision, this isn't up for debate. It's not something we're going to decide as a _family_. It's mine and mine alone to make. Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got some things to do before I leave. I'm sorry if I disappointed you, but I really can't live my life trying to please you," I responded as I went to my room and changed from my suit to a pair of jeans and a t-shirt.

As I left the house, I heard a lot of hushed whispers, but I didn't stick around long enough to listen to them. They'd have to reach their own peace with it. I was finding mine, and I was becoming more steadfast in my decision as I considered my options.

I climbed into the Prius and drove around for a while, finding myself sitting in front of Bella Swan's house. Her father's car wasn't in the driveway, so I took the chance and rang the bell. When she opened the door, she offered a bright smile. "Hi," she said.

"Hi. Are you busy today? I know I should have called, but I'm not exactly up on protocol with regard to dealing with friends. Um, would you be free to go for a hike or maybe get lunch? I needed to get out of my parents' house and…crap, you probably have something to do," I moaned as I thought about my ill-conceived plan. Of course, she had something to do. Most people did on a Sunday, even if it was just to do nothing.

I turned to leave when I felt a warm hand on my arm that surprised me. "I don't have anything to do. My dad is down at the reservation fishing with friends of his, so I was just going to read or watch a movie or maybe go for a walk. I'd love to go for a hike with you, though I should warn you that I'm a bit clumsy so it's going to have to be an easy trail. Come on in and let me change," she ordered as she stepped aside.

I walked into her father's house and felt like I was surrounded by a warm blanket as I stood next to her. She showed me into the living room and handed me the remote, excusing herself to change.

I didn't turn on the television. I walked around the small, quaint, living room and looked at pictures of her that her father had on display. It was clear that he loved his daughter because some of the pictures were yellowed and old, but he displayed them with pride. She'd told me that she'd only seen him a few times a year, but the amount of photos that he had of her around the room led me to believe that he'd have liked to have spent more time with her if he'd have had the chance.

I could understand it completely. She had a draw about her that I was unable to resist. She had a light-hearted approach to life that made me want to be around her and pray that some of her optimism would rub off. It was hard to be sad around Bella Swan, that much I'd already learned.

"So, you ready?" she called as she bounded into the room with a huge smile on her face. I couldn't help but return one of my own.

"Probably not, but let's just see," I responded. She giggled and led me to the front door, pulling it shut after we'd both stepped onto her front porch.

I was about to walk down the stairs when she grabbed my hand. "Take a deep breath of that," she ordered as she took in a large breath and let it out slowly.

I sniffed the air and found nothing in particular that caught my attention. "Um, I don't smell anything," I replied with a laugh.

She squeezed my hand and smiled at me. "It's the sweet smell of independence and maybe just a hint of change. You can't smell it? Try again," she remarked as she took in another deep breath. I followed suit and all I could smell was strawberries, but if that was what independence and change smelled like, I'd welcome it. She could almost make me believe it.

##

"So, where are you going?" she asked. I hadn't mentioned anything about leaving, but she seemed to know it. We hadn't really talked much, just walking in silence down a trail toward the falls. For whatever reason, we both knew where they were, and I almost wondered how I'd never run into her in all the years I'd lived in that tiny hamlet. Maybe it just wasn't the time for Bella to come into my life before my immediate crisis. Maybe she was right, window-wise.

"What makes you think I'm going anywhere?" I asked as I brushed aside a tree branch for her to walk under.

"I have a sixth sense about these things. You're on a quest of some sort, and you can't satisfy the wanderlust here in Forks. Hell, if anyone had wanderlust, they couldn't satisfy it here. So, where are you going to take your pictures? I have a feeling that they'll be incredible," she remarked as we pressed on toward the falls.

I had no answer for her. I didn't know where I was going, but she was right. I had a case of itchy feet, and I had the urge to photograph something of epic proportions, so maybe she had a sixth sense about _something_ because as we approached the falls, I had a thought that I hadn't had in a long time.

"Well, I think my first stop is going to be Ireland. If I can get my father to get on board with my trip, I believe we have cousins there that he keeps in touch with. Then, after that, I think I'll move on to India or Africa. I believe I'd like to take seven spectacular photos, one from each continent. Hey, you've helped me plot a travel log," I replied, formulating a plan in my head.

We were at the falls, and Bella plopped down on the grass and pulled me down beside her. "It sounds spectacular, but before you go off on a year's worth of discovery, I want you to take a minute and look around here and see the beauty that's right at your backdoor. Don't take it for granted. You never know what you'll find right here at home," she pointed out.

I looked at the meadow of wildflowers in which we were sitting, and then I gazed at the falls, kicking myself for not having a camera because that would have been a great shot. When I looked at her, I saw a better shot. It would have been one of her sitting with that bright smile on her face in that field of flowers with the falls in the background. That would have been the perfect shot, and it shook me to my core when I realized it. It was an eye opener.

##

"Hey, don't forget me while you're out there seeing the world. I'd like a peek into what you're seeing, if that's not too much to ask," she remarked as I dropped her off at her father's house after our day together.

We'd talked about a lot of unimportant things, but she never pried into why I felt the compulsion to travel the world. The more time we spent together, the more I knew it was exactly what I had to do, and I was actually feeling beholden to her for lighting that fire in me.

"How could I possibly forget about you?" I asked as we stood on her father's front porch.

"Oh, it would be quite easy if I think about the things you'll see. I envy you, you know. You know what you want and you're going after it. I don't have that courage, but I admire it," she said.

"I think it's more of a case of cowardice than courage. Courage would require me to stay here and confront feelings I've never felt…um, I'll stay in touch. Give me your e-mail address," I quickly covered.

Courage would have been to stay in Forks, Washington, and confront the feelings that I had for the woman who was standing in front of me with nothing more than an encouraging smile and a listening ear. I didn't have the courage to do it, but I hoped that I would someday, and I hoped that when I found it, it wouldn't be too late.

She ran into her house and came back with a piece of paper with an e-mail address scribbled on it. She pressed it into my hand and smiled at me again. "I hope you find what you're looking for out there, and after you do, I hope it leads you back home. I'll be praying for you. Take care of yourself, Edward," she whispered.

Looking into her eyes left me speechless. I'd tried to keep from noticing how beautiful she was, but in that moment, I'd never seen a more beautiful woman in my life. I tried hard to fight the feeling inside of me because it felt like something I shouldn't entertain, but she took that guilt away when she pulled me down to her and kissed my lips gently. It was the first time I'd ever kissed a woman, if you didn't count Ashley Green in second grade, and I wrapped my arms around her to hold her to me.

Once we broke apart, I was still holding her and looking into her eyes. "Go out there and find what you're looking for. Whatever it is, I hope it makes you happy. You're the kindest, most gentle soul I've ever met in my life, and you deserve every happiness. If you find your way back here, I'll be here. Safe travels," she whispered as she pulled away from me and went into her house.

I stood there stunned for a minute thinking about what she'd said and what she'd done, and I was pretty dumbstruck. There were a whole lot of firsts for me that afternoon, but it all felt right. I knew I had to go find myself, and I knew that she knew it as well.

When I climbed into bed that night, I prayed for Bella Swan. I prayed that she'd find the happiness that _she_ deserved because in my mind and in my heart, she was someone who deserved an abundance of happiness. I wanted to be selfish and pray that she'd wait for me, but I couldn't do that to her.

As I fell asleep, I touched my lips and remembered the kiss. It was the first kiss that I'd ever had, at the ripe old age of twenty-six, and it felt right. It all felt very right.

##

BELLA

_Change_. Sheryl Crow sang that a change can do you good, and I was quite certain that she was right, but too much change too fast could leave your head spinning…or at least it could mine.

Getting on that plane in Phoenix, having just said good-bye to my mother and her husband and not getting my prescription filled beforehand was one of the hardest things I'd ever done. Little did I know, I'd meet a wonderful, kind, gentleman when I sat down in my window seat. I'd thought that I'd stay in Phoenix and get a job there, living with my mom and Phil until I'd saved enough money to get my own place, but teaching jobs weren't easy to come by, and when I couldn't find anything, I'd had to change my strategy and take a job at the reservation while moving in with a father that I barely knew. I was terrified, as I'd been of most things in my life, but I had a deep-seeded feeling that it was what I needed to do, so I was doing my damnedest to embrace the change, though it didn't really take away the fear.

Edward had been a surprise to me. He seemed to be lost in his own thoughts, but when I sat down next to him, he put his own musings aside to provide me with the diversion I needed to take my mind off of what lie ahead for me. He'd held my hand. He'd distracted me from take-off to landing, and he talked to me about all sorts of things along the way. He'd given me a ride to my father's house, and then he'd shown up unexpectedly and taken me to a beautiful place, allowing me to get to know him better.

Something about him told me that he had something he had to do, but I couldn't help but kiss him as he stood on my father's porch with me. I hoped that he'd stay in touch, but I didn't hold out a lot of hope. He had a lot to reconcile within himself, and I didn't know if I was anywhere in the mix, but I hoped I was, though I truly didn't know why it seemed so important to me.

I didn't know his story and I didn't ask, but I hoped to learn it someday. That was what I'd keep in the back of my head for the foreseeable future. I might never hear from him again but I had that kiss, and in that moment, that was enough.

##

"Bells, I've got fish," I heard my father call from the back porch of our small house as he kicked off his rubber boots and hung his beloved "Fanny" the fishing pole on the hooks he'd used for years. I saw him with a cooler that I wasn't exactly excited to open because the last thing I really wanted to do was clean fish that day.

"Dad, I really don't feel like cleaning them," I confessed as I stood on the porch with my hands on my hips.

He turned to look at me and laughed. "Put away the dagger eyes. I cleaned 'em down on the reservation when I helped Billy clean his," he informed, probably bringing a look of relief to my face because he continued to laugh at me.

"Good. Father George missed you at Mass this morning," I teased as I walked into the kitchen and opened the cooler seeing a lot more fish than I was going to be cooking that night. I went to the cabinet and pulled out the freezer paper and plastic bags, and I washed my hands so that I could divide them into portions and put them into the freezer for him.

"No more than he's missed me every Sunday morning for the last however many years he's been here. What'd you do today?" he asked as he joined me at the counter and helped portion out the fish.

"I went for a hike to the falls," I answered, leaving out the fact that I'd had company. I didn't want my father making more out of it than it than the fact that it was two friends going for a hike and talking.

"You shouldn't go off hiking by yourself, you know. I haven't heard anyone mention it lately, but there are bears and wolves in those woods, and they drink at the falls," he chastised. It wasn't a new reminder from him. I'd heard it every time I visited him when I was growing up.

"First, I've never seen bears or wolves anywhere near the falls, and second, I actually wasn't alone," I responded, hoping he wouldn't pry.

"Oh, who were you with?" he asked. He didn't seem to be doing anything more than making conversation, but then again, that was always the way he weaseled information from me.

My quandary…tell him the truth or lie. Since I'd gone to Mass that morning, I decided not to lie and just explain that we were friends. "I went with Edward Cullen. I ran into him at Mass," I offered.

"Doc Cullen's son, the priest? Oh, well, that's harmless enough. I didn't know he was in town. I saw Esme on Friday when she stopped by to pay a parking ticket she got in front of the bakery, and she didn't mention anything about him coming back to visit. She's awful proud of him from what I understand," Dad volunteered.

_A priest_? It was odd that he didn't say anything about that to me, and when I thought about seeing him the day before on the plane, and then again spending the afternoon with him, I realized that he wasn't wearing priestly clothes, even at Mass. Then, it hit me like a dump truck…I'd kissed a priest on my father's front porch before he left after spending the day alone with me. Surely, there was a special place in hell for me.

I felt my face flame at the realization, so I quickly walked away with several bags of fish and went to the large box freezer on the porch, hoping the rush of cold air would cool the flames. I needed to apologize to Edward, and I needed to get to confession as soon as possible.

I wasn't a hardcore Catholic, but I tried to live by the Commandments and I attended Mass as often as I could. I basically lived the life of a nun, but it wasn't because it was of my choosing. It was more because the opportunity for me to do anything about it had never presented itself.

I always thought I'd meet a nice guy and we'd settle down and have a family, but the only nice guy I'd ever met besides Father Edward Cullen was Jasper Whitlock, and he definitely wasn't the settling down type. We were good friends, though, but prior to Edward, he was the only man I'd ever considered as potential material to cause me to abandon my chaste existence.

And, there I was thinking about a priest in a very unchaste sort of way. I needed to do something quickly to occupy my mind from remembering how soft his lips were and how nice it felt when he put his arms around me. I also needed to figure out if I'd committed a mortal sin of some sort.

"Oh, wait, he's not exactly a priest yet. He's supposed to take his vows next week. That's what Esme told me. They were flying out to Maryland for the Mass. Well, I guess he's home for one last visit before he gets assigned somewhere. Anyway, I'm glad you weren't alone," Dad called as I closed the lid on the freezer.

I only felt a _little_ better. I needed some time to recall our discussions to see if I could figure out what was going on with him, not that it was actually any of my business. In order to do that, however, I had to get away from my dad.

"Hey, I'm going to go do a little research before I fix dinner. I'm supposed to be at school on Wednesday to set up my classroom, so I need to see if there are special materials I need to order. I'll be back in a while," I called as I climbed the stairs. I heard the familiar pop of a beer tab and then the sound of the television, so I knew he was occupied.

I went to my room and closed the door, pulling out my laptop and the air card I'd purchased before I left Phoenix. I knew my father wouldn't have WiFi, and until I got a place of my own and had it installed, I knew I'd need some way to get to the internet. I wasn't planning to go to McDonald's or the library every time I needed to look up something.

I turned on the computer and pulled up Pandora to have a little music to accompany the brainstorming session I was about to have with myself. I decided to quickly check my e-mail to see if I'd received anything from Mom regarding when she was going to ship the rest of my boxes, and I waited for the account to load on my laptop.

When I opened the inbox, I saw a message from my mom, one from Jasper, and one from dazed_and_confused. I didn't know who _that_ was, so I opened Mom's first, reading that she would try to ship my boxes by the middle of the week. Knowing how scattered she was all the time, I doubted it.

I opened Jasper's and read that he was on his way back to DC from China in the middle of the week, and he'd asked me if I'd gotten settled. I smiled as I hit the reply.

**FROM: bellaswan913**

**TO: thewanderer**

**DATE: **8 August 2011

**RE: Re: **_WASSUP! [NOTE: That hasn't been cool since the nineties]_

_Jasper – glad to hear you're on your way home. I'm sure your trip was enjoyable, and I can't wait to read your latest article. When's it going to press? I'm in Forks getting ready to start my new job. I'm really excited about it, but that's probably because I don't have a lot else going on. What's your next assignment, and tell me that you didn't defile a nice Chinese interpreter. Let's chat soon. Miss you. Bella_

I hit the send button and then remembered the first time I'd met Jasper Whitlock. He was in my Western Civ class, and he never took notes. I'd noticed him borrowing from all of the other girls in the class, and I laughed at them for being suckered by the blue eyes and good looks.

One day, he unleashed the eyes and the pout on me, asking to borrow my notes from the previous week. I declined his request, saying that I saw him sitting in the same class I was and there wasn't any reason for him not to take his own notes.

He smiled that infectious smile at me and replied, "Now, why would I wanna go do that when the smartest girl in the class can take 'em for both of us? I'll make you a deal. You let me copy your notes, and I'll buy you dinner." I said yes because he was extremely handsome, and at the end of the dinner, I'd figured out that Jasper liked having a _lot_ of women at his disposal and wasn't happy just to settle on one. Jasper figured out that I wasn't one to sleep around, but there seemed to be chemistry between us so we became friends.

He dropped out of school the next year when he got an internship at _National Geographic_ in Washington, DC, which eventually became a full-time job, and thus, he began his career as a journalist. He was up to go anywhere they sent him, and as far as I knew, no place was ever too dangerous or too remote for him hop on a plane and have a new adventure.

I shook the memory from my head and clicked on the e-mail that I didn't recognize, hoping and praying that I wasn't unleashing some sort of mega virus or Trojan horse onto my poor little computer. I glanced to the bottom and saw that it was signed by the priest himself, Edward Cullen.

**FROM: **_dazed_and_confused_

**TO: **_bellaswan913_

**DATE: **8 August 2011

**RE: **_Slight Change of Plans_

_Bella – You might not know it if you've never traveled abroad, but my trip is going to take a lot longer to plan than I suspected. I've never actually gone on a trip like the one I'm planning, so I'm a bit overwhelmed by the amount of planning and the red tape I'll have to go through to make it happen. I'm just venting a little._

_Thanks for going with me today. I needed to get away from my parents because they're not exactly pleased with me at the moment, and your company provided the perfect distraction so that I didn't sprain my brain with everything going on in my life. Turmoil is not my friend at the moment._

_Since I'll be in town for a while until I can finalize my travel plans, I was wondering if you were busy tomorrow night? Maybe we could get a pizza or something and talk before you start school. I have something I feel I should explain to you, and I'd prefer to do it in person rather than in an e-mail message, given that inflection and intent can be misconstrued in print. If you have plans, please don't worry. I just didn't want to show up at your house again unannounced._

_I hope to hear from you soon. I truly enjoy our discussions._

_Your friend,_

_Edward Cullen_

_p.s. I hope the e-mail address that I chose didn't freak you out. Anything remotely sensible was already taken, so I went with my state of mind at the moment…dazed and confused. I don't know if you remember the movie. I believe it's somewhat of a cult classic regarding stoners in a small town. It reminds me of some of the guys I went to high school with here in Forks. : )_

Heck, I knew exactly how he felt. I was just as dazed and confused as him, though I was pretty sure it was for a hell of a different reason. I thought about what he'd asked, and while I thought it was a pretty bad idea for him to be seen around town with me in light of what my dad had told me, I supposed I should give him the opportunity to explain things. I also needed to apologize for compromising his morals earlier in the day.

As I was about to hit the reply button, something flashed through my mind that might actually help him out with regard to his trip. I shot off a quick message to Jasper alerting him of my intention, and then I prepared to respond to Edward Cullen.

**FROM: **_[bellaswan913]_

**TO: **_[dazed_and_confused]_

**DATE: **8 August 2011

**RE: Re: **_Slight Change of Plans [Maybe a solution?]_

_Edward – Thank you for your message. I, too, enjoyed today, but I find myself at a loss of how to address something that I found out by accident. My father actually knows your parents, and he mentioned to me that you're either a priest or you're going to become a priest in the near future? I feel absolutely mortified with regard to what I did before you left. It was inappropriate under the best of circumstances, but under these particular circumstances, it was abominable. Please accept my sincere apology for violating you on my porch. I've never done anything like that before, and I have no idea why I did it today. I'll be the first in line tomorrow morning for confession, if there's any absolution for molesting a priest._

_That being said, I don't believe it would be in your best interest to be seen at the pizza place with just me. I fear that people would get the wrong idea that we're more than just new friends, and I'd never want to tarnish your reputation so early into your, um, whatever it is you're doing. Thank you for the invitation, but I believe it's in both of our best interests if I decline._

_In the spirit of friendship, which I hope we can maintain, I have contacted a friend of mine who works for "National Geographic" magazine to see if he can offer you any insight or helpful hints with regard to your trip. His name is Jasper Whitlock [], and he travels to all sorts of exotic places so I'm sure his experience will be helpful._

_I hope that you can accept my apology and are willing to continue a platonic friendship with me. I can promise you that I won't jump you the next time I see you. Please keep me posted on your progress._

_Your friend (I hope),_

_Bella_

I reread my response and hit send before I changed my mind. I closed down my laptop and went downstairs to make dinner, hoping and praying that I hadn't corrupted the man with my brazen hussy-like behavior.

\\\

_**E/N: Rut ro…Poor girl! Let me know what you think, please!**_

_**Questions: How long is the story? Um, it's not too long. About 16 chapters, I think. But, there will be a lot going on in each chapter.**_

_**Is it full of angst? Not really. I mean, the circumstances that bring the couple together are solemn, but over time, you'll see Edward lighten up and Bella will as well, but that's going to be due to people who come into their lives. Oh, and I love this Jasper and just wait until you meet Renee…that's all I'm saying.**_

_**Will you stop posting it abruptly? Aw, now, you know me. I don't start posting a story unless it's finished. This one is finished, and while things may change during the editing process or due to the reviews if there are things that you bring to light that I've neglected, it's done, so no…I won't walk away from it…God willing.**_

_**Anything else, I'll try to address as it comes up.**_

_**Till next time…xoxo (and thank you for giving it a chance)**_


	3. Chapter 3

_**A/N: You guys rock! Thank you so much for your interest in this story. I was nervous about posting it because of the subject matter (the priest part, not the virgin part P), but you've all been very supportive. **_

_**I've settled on a posting schedule…Tuesdays and Fridays. I hope that works for all of you.**_

_**SMeyer owns all Twilight characters…I own nothing but the idea for this story.**_

_**\\\**_

3. The Clearing of the Air

BELLA

##

"So, Sue Clearwater, the principal at the school, told me that she's looking forward to meeting you. I ran into her at the bait shop down there. She said that you'll have about eighteen kids in your class, and everyone's excited. I still can't believe that you never met her and her husband in all the times that I took you down there," Dad remarked as we ate dinner.

The only friend of his that I really knew from the reservation was Billy Black, and I didn't really know him that well. I knew he had a son and daughters, but I didn't know them very well either, so I knew I'd be meeting a lot of people who knew my dad and knew nothing about me.

I wasn't really looking forward to the scrutiny I was sure I'd endure because I generally liked to stay in the background, but if I wanted to be a good teacher, I'd have to get more receptive to meeting people and letting the parents of my students get to know me. I was sure that together, the parents and I could make the school year successful for my students, as well as me, and I was going to try harder to overcome my shyness than I ever had in the past.

"I'm excited about meeting everyone. I just hope they like me," I lamented.

"Now, Bells, you got nothin' to worry about. I get along just fine with 'em and I'm a lot harder to get to know than you. You'll be fine," Dad offered as I cleared the table.

After the dishes were dried and put away, I turned off the lights in the kitchen and went into the living room to see what he was watching. His beloved Mariners were playing, and I knew he wasn't going to be one for conversation during the game so I said, "I'm going to go back upstairs and do some more research and then turn in early. I'll see you tomorrow."

Without looking my way, Dad responded, "I eat breakfast at the diner, so don't worry about gettin' up early on my account. Night, Bells. Glad to have you at home." I walked over and kissed his cheek, seeming to surprise him, and then I went back upstairs to actually do what I'd said I'd done earlier.

I knew that the budget for the school was tight, and I knew that I would have to try to make use of as many free resources as I could find on-line because I wasn't loaded. I couldn't afford to buy a lot of classroom materials that would be needed but not provided, but I had every faith that it would all work out.

I found a website set up by a teacher in North Carolina who taught at a Cherokee reservation, outlining available resources that she'd found useful in her classes. I bookmarked it and continued researching for a couple of hours.

Before I went to shower and go to bed, I checked my e-mail again, seeing that I had no new messages which left my heart heavy, so I logged out and turned off my computer for the night. I remembered Edward mentioning in his e-mail about not being able to convey intent and inflection in an e-mail, and I hoped that I had somehow been able to drive it home in mine.

In my heart, I believed that my life would be richer for knowing him, but it was really up to him if he wanted to be friends. I had to have faith that it would all work out the way it should.

##

Something I quickly figured out on Monday morning when I looked around my father's house was that he had become somewhat of a hoarder. There were stacks of old newspapers and magazines and a thick layer of dust on the furniture and the hardwood floors. I knew it was just because my dad was a guy and didn't think about those things, but I couldn't stand it.

I was sorting through the papers and magazines, making two stacks…one I knew he'd never miss, and one I needed him to sort through. I tied up the old papers…some of them being more than five years old…and carried them out to the recycle bin that was on the back porch. As I was about to bundle up another stack, there was a loud rap at the front door.

I pulled my hair up into a messy ponytail and wiped my hands on my old t-shirt, quickly making my way to answer. I pulled it open without looking out the curtain, and I was quite surprised to see a distraught Edward Cullen standing in front of me with his hands jammed into the pockets of a pair of dark wash jeans.

"Oh, um, Father…um, Brother…I'm sorry, I don't exactly know how to address you," I stammered out, probably sounding like a prattling fool.

"Edward, Bella…please call me Edward. May I come in? I'm sorry to show up, yet again, unannounced, but I was concerned that you'd tell me not to come if I phoned first so I took the chance. If you don't feel comfortable inviting me in, maybe you can come out here and we can sit on the porch. We need to talk," he beseeched.

"Please, come in," I invited, stepping aside to allow him to enter. I walked toward the kitchen, hearing him close the door and follow me. "Can I get you some coffee or something? I need to go to the store because my dad doesn't lay in a lot of food, but I know we have coffee," I offered.

"Um, that's fine, thanks," he replied as he stood in the doorway of the kitchen.

"Sit, please," I requested. He pulled out a chair and sat down, gently scooting a stack of papers out of his way.

I felt my face flush at the mess and quickly apologized, "Sorry about the mess. My dad's become a bit of a pack rat, and I'm trying to get rid of as much stuff as I can without him actually knowing it in case he's developed a disorder that would cause him to panic."

He laughed and smiled at me. I could see that he didn't look like he'd gotten a lot of sleep, to which I could relate because my sleep had been quite restless. I set the coffee in front of him and sat down next to him waiting to find out what was so important to warrant a face-to-face visit.

I saw him nervously tapping on the table as if he was trying to organize his thoughts, so I quietly sipped my coffee and waited. Finally, his mind seemed to settle on something, and he cleared his throat and looked me squarely in the eye.

"First, thank you for the referral of your friend regarding overseas travel. I sent him an e-mail, but I haven't heard from him yet. If he can offer any advice, I'll greatly appreciate it. There are vaccinations and visas and all sort of prohibitions to visiting some places as a tourist. You can get special visas if you're a member of the press, but I don't have such a tie so I might have to revise my itinerary. Anyway, that's neither here nor there and that's not why I'm here in the first place," he informed.

He took a sip of his coffee and cleared his throat again without waiting for any response from me. "Okay, um, I had planned to explain all of this to you tonight over pizza, but I see that my mother has spread the old news far and wide about me, and obviously, word hasn't gotten out that I've changed my plans. I'm sure _that_ news will travel a lot slower than the news that I was taking my vows next Sunday.

"I was on that plane Saturday because I left the seminary. I've had a feeling for a while now that I wasn't doing the right thing for me, and as the clock ticked down to the final days before it was time to make the commitment, it became clearer to me that I wasn't happy or enthusiastic about the prospect at all. I should have been excited at the idea that I'd be assigned to a school as a teacher and begin doing the work that I'd been training for most of my adult life but I wasn't.

"I didn't reach the decision to leave easily. I prayed about it for months and reflected on the decisions that I'd made up to that point, coming to the conclusion that I didn't make them because I actually had a calling to the priesthood like many of my brothers at the seminary. I did it because it was what was expected of me, mostly by my parents.

"I won't say that I allowed them to bully me into it because that's really a cop out for the fact that I didn't make my own desires known to them. I'm generally a shy person so most social situations leave me hamstringed, but priesthood gave me a comfort of not really having to be a social person. I had the protective garb of my collar to allow me to be somewhat anti-social, but that's not the reason to take the vow and make the commitment. Does that make sense?" he asked as he looked deeply into my eyes.

I took in what he'd told me and tried to quickly process it as he continued to look at me nervously. It was a lot to analyze but it actually made sense to me. If he wasn't doing it for the right reasons, then he shouldn't be doing it at all.

It was the way I felt about teaching, because I was certainly never going to get rich as a teacher. I had to follow my passion, and if I'd have tried to settle into something else, I'd have felt that I was compromising my integrity. If he felt anything like that, I could see how he'd reached the decision, and I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that it wasn't reached easily.

##

EDWARD

I'd explained my position to her the best way I could without really having any clear cut answers, and I was hoping that she understood what I was trying to convey.

When I read her e-mail the night before, I fought everything in me to hop into the Prius and go to her house to speak with her immediately. As I was walking out of my room, I ran into my father who appeared to be quite angry.

"_What's wrong?" I asked. I was certain it had something to do with me, so I felt compelled to deal with it head-on._

_I was beyond frustrated that I was hitting so many roadblocks with regard to my travel plans, and then the e-mail that I'd received from Bella had set me off like nothing ever had. I was ready to just grab my things and go sleep in the car, but that was clearly an immature impulse, and the quicker I tamped it down, the better I'd be. I needed to sort through things with my parents whether I wanted to or not._

"_Your mother. She just got off the phone with Father Chris after I begged her not to butt in, and now she's hysterical. I'm just on my way to my bag to see if I happen to have a sedative to give her so I stand a chance in hell of getting any sleep tonight. Don't worry about her. I think it's more of a pride issue than anything," he offered as he stalked toward his office._

_I walked downstairs and saw her sitting at the table with a glass of wine, a box of tissue, and the phone resting in front of her. "So, did Father Chris give you any more insight into me than__** I**__ gave you? He's a priest, Mother, not an oracle. You need to learn that everything isn't in your control. I have the ability…the God-given ability…to make my own decisions. You may not always agree with them, but there comes a time that you're going to have to accept them…that is, if you want me in your life. It's not a veiled threat, I promise. I'm just trying to be honest with you for the first time in a long time," I explained as I walked to the refrigerator and grabbed a beer._

_Had I truly been a drinking man, the situation would have warranted something a lot stronger, but hard liquor had never been much to my liking so a beer it would be. I sat down and looked at her waiting for her to give me some explanation as to why she couldn't accept that I was doing what I believed was best for me._

"_I feel so damn guilty. That's what I called Father Chris about. Father George is a nice enough man, but he seems to be missing the compassion gene so I can't really talk to him, but Father Chris always seemed to have a gentle strength about him that I see in you. I know that you're shy and that you've always felt uncomfortable in social situations, but you have the ability to see when a person is hurting and you have a gentle strength that you offer them in their time of need," she explained._

_It wasn't lost on me that Bella had said the same sort of thing to me on more than one occasion. It was almost like a neon sign that flashed a message that read, "You're on the right track." I swallowed down a lump in my throat and continued to listen to my mother._

"_Why do you feel guilty? Because I've failed to realize that my calling to the priesthood is the right thing for me? Is it something you can see for me that I can't see for myself?" I asked honestly._

"_What? Oh, goodness no. That's not remotely close to where my guilt stems. I feel guilty because we all know that I was the driving factor in your decision to go to the seminary in the first place. I remember the discussion we had when you graduated from Loyola. You told me that you weren't sure that the priesthood was the next step for you, and I said, 'If you don't know the next step, maybe the seminary is a good idea. You go. You try it out. If it's not for you, then you leave, but you have to have some sort of a goal.' How selfish and pompous of me," she sobbed._

_I reached for her hand and took it, squeezing it so that she'd look at me. "Mom, a friend told me that God didn't close a door that he didn't open a window. Maybe at the time when I graduated, it was the door I needed to go through to grow as a person. I've matured, and whether it's actually apparent or not, I'm not as painfully shy as I used to be. Maybe part of it was because I hid behind the collar, but I've realized that I can't hide behind anything any longer. I've got to be a man and figure out my life. That's what I'm attempting to do. My decision has nothing to do with anyone other than me, and I need you to remember that," I told her._

_She smiled at me and nodded. That nod gave me the strength to admit something to my mother that I never thought I'd say in my life. "Mom, I met a woman yesterday," I began._

_She jumped from her chair and hurled herself at me, hugging me for everything I was worth. "I'm so happy for you," she gushed as she nearly caused whiplash._

"_Mom, wait…ow. You're strong for such a small woman. Take your seat before I end up in the ER," I joked as I peeled her off of me._

"_I'm sorry. Tell me about her," she implored. I needed to stop her before she got to wedding bells and rice because that wasn't exactly what it was about._

"_Now, don't go getting ahead of yourself, and certainly don't go getting ahead of me. She lives here in town, and she's going to teach at the reservation. Fourth grade. She was terribly petrified on the flight, and we started talking and I found her quite interesting. I actually spent the day with her today, and she's very easy to talk to, but I haven't exactly been forthcoming about my situation. I sort of skirted around it, but she's the type of woman that I want to explain myself to. I sat next to her in church this morning, and I just don't know what to think about the feelings I'm experiencing. I've never, in my entire life, felt anything like it before," I confessed._

_She smiled at me and chuckled. "Oh, man. Are you in for a rough ride? How old is she?" _

"_Um, she's two years younger than me. She sent me an e-mail that her father told her that I'd taken my vows, and she's consumed with guilt because…um, actually, she kissed me," I whispered. I was having a hard time understanding the fact that when my lips touched hers, everything in my mind seemed to fall into place like tumblers in a safe. _

"_OH! Is she the first…?" Mom trailed off. I could only nod, feeling embarrassed that at the age of twenty-six, it was the first time a woman who wasn't a member of my family had kissed me. I also felt bad because I wanted to kiss her first, but I couldn't bring myself to do it._

"_CARLISLE!" she shrieked as I moaned. I really didn't want my dad to weigh in on it, but apparently, yet again, I didn't have a choice._

I looked at Bella and put all thoughts of the previous night out of my head, hanging on what she'd say with regard to what I'd just confessed to her.

She took a deep breath and responded, "I can understand it. If I'd have settled for anything other than teaching, I'd have felt like I was short selling myself. I'm not naïve enough to believe that I'll ever get rich, but I'm more than willing to trade designer labels and fancy cars for the satisfaction of making a difference in a child's life. Well, I _hope_ I make a difference. It remains to be seen," she chuckled.

I laughed with her. "I'm quite sure that you'll make a difference in many children's lives. You've made a difference in mine, and I've only known you for about fifty hours. I can't imagine what you could do with a nine-month school year."

"I still feel horrible about what I did…" she began apologizing again.

"Stop right there. I don't know if you knew it or not because maybe I didn't do it right, but I kissed you right back and I wrapped my arms around you, so you weren't alone in any of it, okay? It's the first time in my life that I've ever wanted to kiss a girl…a woman…and if you hadn't made the first move, I was going to, though I'm sure it would have been a lot clumsier," I replied. We both laughed at my admission, and though I was sure that my ears were red, I wasn't really embarrassed at the admission.

Just then, the phone rang, ruining our little moment. She jumped up to answer it, and I watched every move she made. She'd told me she was clumsy, but I only saw her movements as graceful. She wasn't perfectly made up in fancy clothes or a lot of make-up with perfectly styled hair, but I saw the real beauty of her, not for the first time. The only thing that brought me out of my study of her was what she was saying into the phone.

"How was China? You're back early. Oh, you did? I really don't believe that, but whatever. As a matter of fact, he's sitting in my kitchen right now and we're having a cup of coffee and nice conversation. Hold on," she said.

She cupped her palm over the mouthpiece of the phone and looked at me. "It's Jasper. He wants to talk to you about your trip. You feel up for it or should I give him a number to reach you at later?" she asked excitedly.

"I'll talk to him," I answered as I walked over to the phone, taking it from her hand and clearing my throat.

"Hello?" I asked nervously. She started to walk away, but for reasons I couldn't understand, I grabbed her hand and held it, examining her small fingers with my own large ones. She didn't pull away, for which I was grateful.

"Hey, man. I got your e-mail, and I have to say I'm completely intrigued at the prospect of following you around and getting your take on shit. I talked to my editor, and I think we can work something out that might make the whole process a little easier. What I need is for you to take some digital photos and e-mail them to me so I can see if you actually have any talent before they're willing to commit, but if you do, I think we've both got a job coming out of this. How soon can you get me something?" he asked.

My mind was reeling. "Why would you put yourself out there for a complete stranger?" I asked. It had to be a dream because I was a student of human nature, by training, and what he was proposing wasn't something that most people would be willing to do for someone they'd never met.

"Look, Bella has faith in ya and I have faith in her. She's got a weird sixth sense about people, and if she thinks you're worth it, then I think you're worth it. Take some pictures and send them to me so I've got something to take to my boss. I really don't give a flying fuck what the subject matter is, just make 'em good. You've got my e-mail. Put Bella back on so I can say good-bye because I'm gonna crash for about three days. When I wake up on Thursday, I expect to find an e-mail from you with photos," he ordered.

"Um, yeah, sure," I responded, handing the phone back to her. She spoke with him for a few minutes, and then she hung up with a huge smile on her beautiful face.

"See, there's your window. Get your camera and let's get busy," she ordered as she shoved me out the door of her father's home.

Just as I stepped over the threshold onto the porch, I stopped and turned to look at her. Without really thinking, I placed my hands on her shoulders and leaned in, grazing my lips against her softly. She placed her hands on my forearms and tilted her head just a bit, allowing our noses to get out of the way so that it was much more of a kiss than a smooch, not that I was actually familiar with either.

The sensation sent an unfamiliar jolt through my body, which caused my eyes to spring open, seeing hers closed softly. I pulled back for a moment, and then kissed her again quickly. "There. How was that?" I asked.

"I'll deal with the guilt later. Right now, my head is spinning because it's only the second…well, and third…kiss I've ever had in my life," she whispered as her eyes opened and her face flushed.

Something occurred to me about which I needed a bit of clarification. "You and Jasper, were you ever…" I asked vaguely alluding to the deeper question.

"We're good friends. I've never been anyone's _ever_," she answered as she squeezed my hand. I felt my heart pick up at her words. I wasn't the last person on the planet that _hadn't_… If I understood her right, she _hadn't_ either.

##

The rest of Monday and most of Tuesday found the two of us trekking around Forks and La Push. I took two memory cards full of pictures, and we spent Tuesday night at the diner in town looking through them on her laptop.

"I like this one. It captures the relationship between the mother and the little boy," she offered as we looked at a picture of a woman on the reservation talking to a small boy. She was stooped down, drying his tears because he'd dropped his ice cream. Unfortunately, they were in the right corner of the frame. I was trying to capture the large totem outside of the rec center on the reservation. The fact that the woman and her son were in the picture was purely coincidental.

"Yeah, well that's great, but I was trying to get the shot of the totem. Look, I cut off the top of it," I complained, looking at the photo as I sipped a strawberry milkshake.

"You're missing the big picture here, pardon the pun. You have a way of capturing human relationships on film like I've never seen. Maybe it wasn't your intention, but it's there. Maybe you're not meant to capture landscapes and driftwood on the beach. Maybe you're meant to capture the human experience," she remarked as she clicked to the next picture which was of a large rock formation on the beach with the late afternoon sun in the background.

At the time I took it, I didn't notice the couple sitting on top of the rocks sharing an intimate moment. She was sitting next to him with her head on his shoulder, and he was kissing the top of her head. Their identities were completely obscured because they were in silhouette, but it was easy to discern that they were a couple in love. I was quite surprised at the photo but I saw the beauty in it, feeling something inside me click.

Landscapes and sunsets weren't what I wanted to capture. I wanted to capture human emotions… emotions that I'd been fighting most of my life. Once they started making themselves know, it was hard to stop them, so with a new eye, I went back through the photos I'd taken and culled through them again. I found six that I thought would be the best portrayal of my abilities, and I attached them to an e-mail to Jasper, giving him all of my contact information.

I e-mailed one photo to myself that I didn't want to share with anyone. It was a picture of Bella on the beach pointing to something off lens, but her face had the sweetest smile that I wanted to carry with me forever. If I was indeed going away, I wanted a piece of her with me. That photo was the piece I was taking.

##

"You son-of-a-bitch! You _brilliant _son-of-a-bitch! Where the hell have you been hiding? Is this some kind of a prank that Swan's pulling on me?" I heard an exuberant Jasper call to me over the phone at my parents' house on a Friday morning.

My mom was staring at me because she'd answered the phone, and I could tell that Jasper had flirted with her quite properly. She had a bright smile on her face, and she was looking at me for an explanation.

"It's no prank. Actually, if I was being honest, Bella pointed out the shots to me that I didn't even know I was taking," I informed him in the spirit of full disclosure.

"Wait, you're a virgin?" he asked. I pulled the phone away, looking at it as if there was a flashing message that had given away my status.

"Excuse me?" I asked feeling quite annoyed and embarrassed at his question.

"You've never sold a picture to a rag before? This is your first foray into the shark-infested waters of print media? Surely, you've had a showing at a gallery somewhere," he assumed.

"Sorry, never. I've actually been doing something else up until recently, but I'm ready to make my debut, I guess…I mean, if you think I'm good enough," I responded seeing my mother excitedly clapping her hands in silent support.

"Good enough? For fuck's sakes, son, you're more talented than the guy I had with me in China. Hell, I'm discovering new talent. I need to send Swan a check for her little school to help out with expenses. I need you here by Monday. We've got two weeks to get you straightened out so that we can leave, and we'll work up an itinerary when you get here. You can stay with me, if you don't mind camping on my couch. My boss is gonna shit her skirt when she sees these. I'll call you with travel details, but welcome to the dog-eat-dog world of print media. Kiss your mother and your girl good-bye because we're gonna be gone for at least three months. Hell, I haven't been this excited about an assignment in years," he shouted through the phone causing me to hold it away from my ear.

After a few more minutes of discussion, we hung up, and my mom hurled herself at me. "So, you got it?" she asked. I'd explained to her and my dad what I wanted to do and why I wanted to do it, and surprisingly, they'd been on board with it. I wasn't sure if it was because I had a new fire about me or because it would get me out of town until the gossip died down regarding the fact that I had left the seminary.

I was off on a path that felt exactly right to me. I was climbing through the window, anxious to embrace whatever lay on the other side. It was the first time in a long time that I was excited about anything. That was until I thought through the ramifications.

If I was leaving, I was leaving Bella behind, and I wasn't sure how to feel about that. We were on the brink of something, but I didn't really know what it was. I knew that I needed to talk to her about it, and my mom seemed to sense it as well.

"Edward, it's not a death knell to your friendship with Bella. You can keep up with her by e-mail, and hey, as you've said more often than not, if it's part of God's plan, then it will all fall into place. Huh, listen to me doling out the platitudes…have a little faith," Mom told me as she kissed my cheek.

I laughed because she was right. If it was the right path for me, then it would all fall into place. I put a lot of credence in the fact that everyone had a purpose, and if my purpose wasn't what I'd initially believed it to be, maybe it was the new path that I was following. As my mom said, I had to have faith.

##

That night, Bella and I had already made plans to get that pizza that we'd put off. I was anxious to tell her my news, but I was more anxious to see if there was any way in hell…Jasper was rubbing off on me…that we could carry on a long distance relationship while I traveled the world with someone I'd never met.

I walked into the kitchen in jeans and a white shirt, nervous about what I actually perceived as my first date ever. My mom and dad were sitting at the table eyeing me carefully. Mom got up and kissed my father on the cheek, squeezing my arm as she walked by. It was odd, but nothing that was happening in my life was normal. I had no idea what normal would be for me, so I had to do the one thing I'd never done in my life. I had to be flexible.

"Edward, son, a moment?" Dad asked as he pulled the chair out next to him for me to sit down. I looked at the watch on my arm that was a new fixture. I'd never worried about time in the past. At the seminary, there was always someone or something reminding me of where I was supposed to be and what I was supposed to be doing. Since my time was my own, I'd learned that I needed to actually embrace the freedom and the structure of looking after my own time, thus the watch.

"Um, that's fine, but I'm supposed to pick up Bella in twenty minutes," I reminded nervously.

He chuckled. "Well, then I suppose that I'd better give you the _Cliff Notes_' version. Okay, um, so here goes. There are feelings that come into play when a man and a woman find that they have a certain…" he began.

Oh, good Lord, he was about to give me a sex talk. He'd never done it in my life, and I certainly wasn't about to sit at that table at twenty-six years of age and let him give it to me then. "Dad, seriously? Even in my stilted education, I know how it all works. Can we please not do this?" I pleaded.

"Son, I know that you know the anatomy and the mechanics of it. That's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about the emotions that would propel you to do something that you might not yet be ready to do. I don't know the young lady but I know you, and I believe that you…" he began again.

"Dad, stop. Just because I'm not taking the vows doesn't mean that I've thrown my values out the window, okay? Bella's a very nice young lady, and I believe, though I'm not entirely sure, that she's very much like me, okay? I seriously doubt that she'd be ready for a romp in the back seat of a Prius just so I could go out into the world with that particular rite of passage under my belt. She's a wonderful young woman who I look forward to getting to know while I'm traveling. I can assure you that I'll return home tonight the same way I leave…pure as the driven snow, okay?" I asked feeling quite annoyed that I had to explain myself.

"I just don't want you to get so caught up in the emotions of leaving her that you two do something for which maybe neither of you is ready. I want you to go at your own pace and not get waylaid by the realization that you won't see her for a while because you two have been spending a lot of time together since you met. I'm not trying to embarrass you at all. I just want you to know that it's natural to have the feelings, but they mean so much more when you're certain that it's right," he responded. I stood and hugged him because I knew that the discussion didn't come easily.

"Thank you for your advice. I'll see you later. I love you, you know," I told him as I pulled away. He only nodded, obviously taken by the emotions I was fighting.

Without another word, I quickly grabbed the keys off the counter and left before it got messy. I knew my father didn't do messy, and I didn't really either, so it was best to leave. I appreciated the discussion, even if I didn't like it, and that let me know that I was growing up.

\\\

_**E/N: Please let me know what you think. Someone mentioned that they wondered if Bella's deal was over a guy. I'll tell you that it's not. She's just as shy as he is, and that's held her back. As the story progresses, I hope you'll see how these characters grow and change. Oh, and our boy's gonna loosen up a lot too.**_

_**Till next time…xoxo**_


	4. Chapter 4

_**A/N: WOW! I'm so happy to read your reviews. So very, very happy. One of you mentioned that there needed to be something firmed up between them….yeah, um, read on.**_

_**SMeyer…owner. Me…manipulator but never an infringer.**_

_**\\\**_

4. The First Date

##

EDWARD

I pulled into Bella's driveway and saw that her father's cruiser was sitting there, which caused a knot in my stomach. I'd been lucky enough to avoid Charlie Swan, Police Chief of Forks, Washington, since Bella and I began spending time together. I knew in my gut that I wasn't going to be able to avoid it any longer.

I pushed the doorbell and waited, hoping that she would open the door. Of course, that wouldn't be the case. "Yeah," the man who I assumed was her father asked sarcastically.

"Um, hello, sir. I'm Edward Cullen. I'm here to pick up Bella," I responded hearing the tremble in my voice and feeling the nerves settle into my extremities.

"Oh. Come on in. She's not ready. Can I get you a beer?" he asked as he walked into the house toward the kitchen where I'd already spent time. I didn't know if he knew it, but I did.

"Thanks, but no. I'm driving," I answered. I saw him look at me skeptically, and then settle in a chair, kicking the other one out for me. I sat down and swallowed hard.

"How is it that you're dating my daughter when you're supposed to be taking your vows?" he asked. It was a fair question and I could tell that he only had Bella's best interests at heart, so I had to like him for that, even though he scared the bejeezus out of me.

"I, um, I left the seminary. I won't be taking any vows into the priesthood. Your daughter has become a good friend of mine, and I'm leaving town on Sunday, so I wanted to take her to dinner to thank her for being the kind individual who I believe you've had a hand in raising. She's one of the most compassionate people I've ever met, and she's given me support in tough choices that my parents were reluctant to give. I want to make certain that she knows how much I appreciate her, and well, Forks doesn't have a five-star restaurant so we're going to get a pizza. She's a remarkable young woman, sir," I offered.

He swallowed his drink and rose from the table to grab another beer. "She's all that and more, and I won't sit back and let anyone take advantage of her kind heart. Don't make promises to her that you don't intend to keep because Bella believes people _mean_ what they tell her. She has not one skeptical bone in her body, and while I'm happy about it on its face, it sets her up to get hurt more often than not. I believe that you could be one of those people who could hurt her, and I can't sit idly by and watch it happen," he explained forcefully.

Before I could respond, we heard her on the stairs. We both rose from the small kitchen table to go into the hallway, and as I looked up to see her slowly descend the stairs, I was hit with a flood of unfamiliar emotions.

She looked radiant, as if the sun was shining behind her and illuminating her entire body. I felt the strong urge to bend down and rest my hands on my knees to catch my breath, but I was certain that her father would kick me in the teeth if he knew the thoughts that were making themselves known in my head. Maybe _my_ father was right. I was opening myself up to feeling things that I'd kept long suppressed, but in that instant when she hit the bottom step, I wasn't sorry for them at all. They felt exactly right.

"Dad, I trust you've been nice," she scolded with a laugh in her voice, probably knowing that her father had been as tough on me as he'd probably been on any man in my position.

"I think we understand each other, isn't that right, Cullen?" he asked as he turned to look at me with a steely smile.

"Yes, sir. Um, are you ready?" I asked pulling my gaze from her father to her beautiful face which wore a cute smirk.

"I am. I'm starved, and I have so much to tell you about school. Dad, I'll be home later. Do me a favor and don't wait up for me. I'm not sixteen any longer," she told him.

"Bells, I had no reason to wait up for you at sixteen but now, I think I might. Besides, there's baseball on. Wake me up when you get home because I don't like to sleep in that recliner. Have a good time…within reason," her father called as we made our way to the front door.

Once we were outside, I was able to take a deep breath, or let go of one, I wasn't sure which. I took her elbow and led her to the car, opening the door for her. When she was safely inside, I walked to the driver's side and climbed in.

"You okay? He can be a little intense," she called as she took my hand the way I'd taken hers on the plane nearly a week prior.

"I'd expect nothing less from someone who loves you. I'm hungry," I joked as I tried to lighten the mood.

I drove us to _Italiana_, the only pizza place in town, and we made our way inside, settling at a table in a dark corner. I felt completely overcome with nerves, but based on the look on her face, she felt the same way. "Um, maybe we should have a little wine to loosen up? Not a bottle or anything, but a glass wouldn't hurt either of us," I suggested.

She smiled and then laughed. "Do you also feel like this is different than the other time we've spent together? I've been a nervous wreck all day. It feels far more formal than the other times we've hung out, and I'm not sure why," she responded.

I knew exactly how she felt. It was the beginning of something, I was certain, but whether I could actually put a fine point on it wasn't something I knew. "Well…uh…yeah, I feel like it's…it's different but if you don't want it to be different, it doesn't have to be. I mean, we're becoming friends, and I'm leaving on Sunday…Oh, did Jasper contact you? I'm leaving on Sunday evening to go to D.C. I've got meetings and planning for the trip. _National Geographic _is actually going to sign on for this little excursion, if you can believe it.

"Jasper loved the photos, and I owe it to you for pointing out my niche. I'm not certain where we're going because we're going to work up an itinerary when I get there, but I owe all of this to you," I told her as the waiter poured us each a glass of Chianti.

I lifted my glass, causing her to do the same. "We've already toasted to new beginnings, so let's toast to exploring new horizons. I believe that both of us are teetering on more than one new horizon, and I hope that we can explore them together," I toasted without being too specific about things I was thinking but not at all ready to voice.

We ordered our pizza and talked about what I was about to do and what Bella thought her school year would be. It was incredible, and it was something I'd carry in my heart when I left her behind.

_Leaving. _Suddenly, I wasn't so set on leaving. I felt like I was leaving a great opportunity behind me, but I knew that I was on a path that was unfolding before me that I couldn't abandon if I ever hoped to become a man who was possibly worthy of a woman like Bella Swan. With everything inside me, I wanted very much to become that man.

I drove her home with only one thought in my mind. I was leaving on Sunday afternoon, and I wanted to make a statement to her that I hoped would make an impact.

I walked her up to the front door, just as a gentleman should, somewhat annoyed that the front light was on because it was going to make it a lot more difficult to do what I'd planned to do with the neighbors sitting in front of picture windows and watching us.

As if she knew what I was thinking, she opened the front door and flipped the switch, turning the light off and causing me to exhale, yet again.

"Thank you. Um, look, I'm leaving on Sunday evening, but can I pick you up for Mass on Sunday morning and spend time with you before I go?" I asked nervously.

"I'd like that. We'll keep in touch, right? I mean, I'd like to read what you're experiencing, so I hope you'll e-mail me," she asked. There was no way I wasn't going to e-mail her.

"You'll get sick of me, I promise. Thank you for setting me up with Jasper. I mean, I'd never have had this opportunity if it wasn't for you," I told her as I took her hand and held it nervously. I hoped that my hand wasn't sweaty, but with what I was planning to do, I was surprised that I wasn't sweating bullets.

"Now, everyone needs a little help every once in a while," she chuckled, which reminded me of something.

I reached into my back pocket and pulled out the check that my parents had insisted upon foisting on me to give to her. "This is, um, this is from my parents because they're both aware of the school's funding, and they wanted you to have it. Please, do me a favor that I haven't really earned and just accept it," I begged as I handed it to her.

She didn't even look at it. She simply held it in her hand and smiled at me. "I'll send a note of thanks to them because I know what I'm up against with regard to budgetary constraints, and while I'm a proud woman, I've learned to accept help when it's offered. I hope you'll learn the same lesson," she responded.

"I do believe, Miss Swan, that's a lesson I've already learned. I, uh, hell. I'm really out of my element here, but I'd like to…um…kiss you…I mean, if that's okay," I stammered like an idiot.

Thankfully, she didn't respond. She pulled her hands from mine and wrapped her arms around my neck, pulling me down to her which made me realize how tiny she actually was. I gently placed my hands on her back and kissed her, enjoying the feeling of her lips against mine again.

I felt her tongue sweep against my lips which was a new sensation that I wasn't prepared for, but I stopped thinking and turned my head so that I could move my tongue against hers for the first time in my entire life.

Expletives that I'd never allowed myself to voice ran through my head at the sensation, and I felt myself stir in a way that wasn't exactly appropriate. I put a bit of distance between us, but I didn't stop kissing her. If it was the last kiss I'd ever have in my entire life, I was going to make the most of it. Her lips were so soft and she tasted so sweet from the wine and the gelato we'd shared at the restaurant that I just couldn't stop.

I had no idea how long we stood on her porch kissing, but when we pulled away, I looked into her eyes and I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that I'd just surrendered my heart whether it was voluntary or not.

Oh, hell," I whispered because the realization hit me like a ton of bricks. I felt like the hole in my heart had just been filled, and I didn't exactly know what to do about it or say about it.

"Thank you for dinner. I'll see you on Sunday for church," she whispered. Even in the dim moonlight, I could see a beautiful pink hue on her cheeks and I could hear her breathing just as heavily as me. I was completely waylaid by it.

"Bella, I think…I'm…I'm falling in love with you," I stammered out as I stood there on her porch. I wanted to bite off my own tongue because of the proclamation that had slipped from my mouth unexpectedly. It was completely too soon for such grand statements and I knew it, but I couldn't hold it back. It just slipped out.

"I know. I'm falling in love with you, too. Now, get off of my porch before my father comes with the gun," she teased as she pulled me into her and kissed me again, lighting my body on fire like it had never been before. Having no frame of reference for the feelings, I wasn't sure what to do, but one thing that made me happy was that I had no regret over them whatsoever.

I climbed into my car and I sat on her driveway for a minute, or ten, feeling completely flummoxed by my confession. When she answered back, I knew that I wasn't alone. I wasn't alone any longer. I had Bella Swan and she loved me, or she was starting to, and she was supporting me in my mission. It was the best feeling in the world. It was unexpected, but it was exhilarating. I was falling in love with a special woman, and she was going to be there at the end of my search. It was more than I ever thought I'd find on the other side of the window, but it was more than I ever found behind the door.

##

Bella met my parents after Mass on Sunday, and they seemed to hit it off. After church, we all went to breakfast at the diner, and then I took her back to my house while I packed. "I'll e-mail you when I can. My parents bought me a new laptop, but I'm going to guess that WiFi will be sketchy. I'll at least keep in touch while I'm in D.C. I feel like this is a really bad time to leave," I offered as I folded my clothes.

She was sitting on my bed looking perfectly lovely, and I had all kinds of urges that I wasn't ready to address, so I kept folding my clothes, realizing how perfectly ridiculous it was. We weren't fifteen, and I was leaving her with the full intent of returning to her and making her a permanent fixture in my life.

I closed the door to my bedroom and walked over to the bed where she was sitting, and I pulled her onto my lap, much to her surprise. As my hand rested on her thigh, she giggled.

"We're quite a fine pair, aren't we? A would-be priest and a shy school teacher? I meant what I said to you. I'm falling in love with you, and I hope you meant what you said because that's what I'm taking with me. I hope you know that if I didn't feel like this was the direction I should take, I'd never go. I'd never leave you behind. It's far too soon, but I believe that we'll get to know each other and when I come back, we can decide where we are and where we're going," I told her as I held her close to me.

"Edward, I know that you have to do this, and I meant what I said. I believe that this is the path we both have to walk. Unfortunately, it's not exactly together but hopefully, we'll learn the lesson we're supposed to learn and come out stronger for it. That's what I'm hanging my hat on, anyway," she replied as she kissed me gently.

In that moment, I didn't really think. I didn't overanalyze what I was doing as I'd done previously. I simply _did_. I gently placed her on her back on my bed and stretched out next to her, kissing her the way she'd kissed me on her front porch the last time we'd had the opportunity. I felt the familiar stir of my body longing for hers, but instead of hiding it like I did that night, I didn't move away. I felt like I needed to let her know that I wanted her with everything in me, so I didn't move away. I wasn't going to act on it _that_ moment, but I needed her to know I had the feelings.

I pulled away from the kiss and looked into those brown eyes that I'd noticed on the plane and every time we were together since I'd met her. "I'm sorry if it's rude, but I need you to know that I want to know _all_ of you with everything in me. You're the first woman to ever bring out those feelings in me, and I need you to know that. Please, I have no right to ask this, but please be here when I come home. Hell, Bella, when I'm with you, I feel like you _are_ my home," I confessed quietly as I held her tightly to me.

"I'll be here. I have all of these new feelings for you as well, and I'd like to figure out what they mean as well. I'll still be here," she whispered as she kissed me again. The kiss conveyed everything I needed to hear, and I took it deeply into my heart. I prayed that it would get me through the new journey that lay before me, but I knew what was at the end, and I knew that she was everything that I wanted and needed.

##

BELLA

I had just gotten out of the shower when my cell rang as I stood in the bathroom drying myself. I hit the speaker button and answered, "Hello there weary traveler. How's DC?"

"Exhausting. I had to beg and plead with Jasper to let me stay in tonight so that I could get some rest and do some laundry. We're leaving tomorrow morning for Alaska. I don't know how the hell the guy does it, going out every night and hooking…um, yeah. Anyway, how are you?" he asked. I could hear the exhaustion in his voice.

"I'm fine. I miss you, but I'm happy to get to talk to you every night. Did you get all of your shots and stuff?" I asked. He'd told me that Jasper had suggested a full battery of vaccinations because they hadn't exactly narrowed down their itinerary.

"Yeah, finally. We got the visas that we needed, and I guess it's gonna be a damn surprise where we end up. I miss you, too, Bella. I hope you understand that, based on what Jasper's told me, it might be extended periods of time before you hear from me. A lot of the places he wants to go aren't prime for cell service or WiFi. I mean, we'll have to get to civilization eventually to be able to send shit to the magazine, but I can't really tell you how often because I've never done anything like this before," he answered. That was information I really didn't want to hear.

"Oh. Well, I know I don't hear from Jazz very often when he's working, so I assume there will be blocks of time where you'll be incommunicado. I'll miss hearing your voice, but I'm a big girl. I'll live," I responded, not exactly enthusiastically.

"Well, I don't know if _I_ will. Love, I hate to cut it short, but I'm dead on my feet, and I don't want to fall asleep on you. I'll call you from Alaska as soon as I can, okay?" he asked.

I felt tears in my eyes, and I was grateful that he wasn't there to see them. "Oh, sure. Take care of yourself, please. I want you back safe and sound eventually. I'll miss you," I told him quickly before my voice cracked and gave away my emotions.

"You take care of yourself as well. I'll miss you, too. G'night," he called. I responded the same and hung up the phone, not at all satisfied with the short conversation but accepting that there really wasn't anything I could do about it.

When I went to bed that night, I tossed and turned, replaying the conversation in my head. Something had settled deep in my stomach that had me worried, though I fell asleep before I could figure out what it was. It was a feeling of unease but I didn't know why. I didn't like the feeling at all.

##

"Let's all settle down. Pull out your pencils because we have a math quiz. I hope you all studied," I called to my class.

It was my birthday, and I knew that Edward and Jasper were in Alaska, but I hadn't heard from either of them and I was on edge. The last call I'd received from Edward was at the airport in Virginia. I could hear the excitement in his voice, and I couldn't help getting caught up in it. That was nearly a week ago, and I was less enthusiastic about it the longer I didn't hear from him.

His mother called me frequently and offered more support of our school, which left me in a jam. Her support would be appreciated, but I didn't want to feel that it was only because of my friendship with her son. I'd used the check that they'd given me for supplies, actually giving some of the money to other teachers, including the home economics teacher, Alice Brandon. It was a funny thing, opening the heart to new possibilities. When I opened mine to Edward Cullen, somehow, Alice Brandon had weaseled herself into it as well.

She referred to herself as a foundling which I didn't exactly understand nor question her about, but she'd mentioned more than once that she grew up without much supervision. Nevertheless, she was a breath of fresh air in my dusty world. She breezed into my life, and before I knew it, she was offering me new perspectives and new ideas that I'd never considered.

Just as I was about to hand out the quiz papers, the door burst open to my classroom and Alice waltzed in with a tray of cupcakes, singing "Happy Birthday" with a bright smile on her face. Each one had a candle on it, and after I blew them out, she handed me a piece of paper and then turned to hand out the cupcakes to my class.

I opened the paper and felt my heart in my throat. It was from Edward.

_Love,_

_My mom made these, but if I was there, I'd have made them myself. Happy Birthday! I've sent you a note on your e-mail account that says things I'm not willing to share with anyone else, but I want you to know I'm thinking of you._

_My heart is there with you,_

_Edward_

I discreetly dried my eyes and smiled. It was the best birthday gift I'd ever received.

I hurried home after school and opened my personal account to find two messages. One was from Jasper, leaving me the "you're not getting better, you're just getting older" message that he'd sent every year on my birthday since I'd met him. I smiled and then opened the one from Edward, who, by that time I was convinced was the love of my life.

**FROM: [**_dazed_and_confused]_

**TO: [**_bellaswan913]_

**DATE: **13 September 2011

**RE: **_Happy Birthday, Baby!_

_I'm sorry I haven't been in touch, but I've been a bit overwhelmed by everything. I wanted to wait until I had the opportunity to actually articulate my thoughts in coherent sentences, and I finally have…it only took me about three days…I think I'm getting better at all of this, ha ha._

_We're in Shishmaref, Alaska. It's a coastal village on Sarichef Island in the Chukchi Sea, just north of the Bering Strait. It's a tiny place…even smaller than Forks if you can believe that. Jasper was here a few years ago when a storm surge devastated the village, and he knows a lot of the locals who have been very kind to us. Coastal erosion is still eating away at it, but the Inupiaq Eskimos who call it home don't have the money to relocate it. It makes my little problems look like a hangnail. _

_I've attached some of the pictures I've taken for you to better understand. I also decided to pick you up a souvenir from everywhere I visit, so when I get home, I'll have lots to tell you and I'll be bearing gifts. _

_Enough on that for now. How are you? I've been dreaming about you since I left on Sunday night. Jasper doesn't know it's you because we're just getting to know each other and I like having this to myself for now, but apparently, he's getting sick of the sounds that I make in my sleep and he made me move into a tent of my own. Oh, we're camping, by the way, which isn't really fun at all. Though, if I think about it, maybe if you were here to keep me warm, I'd find a lot more about it to like. I've got to stop thinking about that for now._

_I hope school is going well. I miss hearing you tell me about your students and what happens every day. Hell, I miss hearing you tell me anything. I can't get cell service here, but I was able to find someone in the village that allowed me to use their internet connection so that I could send this. He's actually the owner of the small store here in the village. His family is in some of the pictures. The little girl with the doll is his daughter, Melly. She's six-years old, and she was absolutely adorable, posing for me for as long as I'd take her picture. You'd have loved her._

_Speaking of love…how's my heart? You know I left it there with you, don't you? When my brother picked me up at the seminary six weeks ago, I most certainly would have never predicted that I'd be in Alaska with a guy I don't really know, pining away for a woman I met on a plane. That window I crawled through must have been the looking glass, considering how far down the hole I've fallen._

_I better sign off for now. I've imposed on these kind people long enough, but I couldn't let the day go without wishing you a Happy Birthday. When I get home, we'll have a proper celebration. _

_I hope my mother isn't pestering you too much. I did ask her to check in with you from time to time so that you don't forget me, but I asked her not to get pushy. If she does, just call my dad…he knows how to handle her._

_Please take care of yourself. I believe we're off to Peru next, but we were supposed to go there first until Jasper changed his mind, so I can't really make any promises. You neglected to tell me about Jasper's colorful…uh…character. I have the distinct impression that by the time I get home, I'll be a trash-talking, hard-drinking, shadow of my former self due to his debauched lifestyle. You really should have warned me! He's like no one I've ever met, and you know how that throws me._

_Anyway, I'll call you when I can, Sweetheart. I miss you very much, and I pray for you every night. (Come on, you'd have expected nothing less from me.)_

_Yours,_

_Edward (the Lonely)_

I couldn't have wiped the smile from my face if someone was holding a gun to my head. I clicked on the attachment and began scrolling through the five photos attached.

Some of them were of the devastation to which he'd referred in his e-mail, but two of them were of the little girl he'd talked about. She had a toothless smile and ruddy cheeks, with bright, clear eyes. Apparently, there was a wind blowing because she was holding her long dark hair out of her eyes with one hand and a handmade rag doll in the other.

In the background was what I assumed was the store to which he'd referred, and there were two elderly men sitting on chairs and smoking pipes. I didn't know if he'd planned the photo, but the contrast between the old, weathered men, and the fresh-faced child was breathtaking.

I decided that I needed to take some time to think about a response, so I changed from my skirt and blouse and went downstairs just as my father was coming into the house with a pizza, Alice Brandon hot on his heels. "Alice? What's going on?" I asked, curious as to why she was there.

"I ran into your father at _Italiana_ and he invited me for pizza. I'm definitely developing a crush here," she teased. I turned to see my father's face flush, leaving no question in my mind as to where I'd inherited the trait and I laughed.

"Why do I think that you invited yourself?" I joked.

"Po-tay-to…po-tah-to. Now, this is for you. After dinner, I want to hear all about the guy who had his mother make cupcakes and deliver them to you at school. That's a pretty special guy," she deduced.

"Cullen had Esme make cupcakes? I knew that almost-priest was trouble," Dad barked. I only rolled my eyes and took the pizza into the kitchen, grabbing plates and three beers for us.

"I'll have you know that he's a wonderful man, and he's a very good friend. Let it go, Dad," I announced. We ate dinner, and Alice talked my father's ear off. By the time he went to the living room to escape her game of fifty questions…because with Alice, twenty wasn't nearly enough…I could tell his head was spinning.

Alice looked at me, and I knew what answer she was seeking. "I really don't want to go into a lot of detail, but Edward recently dropped out of the seminary. He was about to take his vows, but he came to the decision that it wasn't for him, so he left. We met on the flight from Phoenix to Seattle, and he kept me from a full-blown hysterical breakdown because I'm scared to fly. We've gotten to know each other, and now he's in Alaska taking photos while my friend, Jasper, documents Edward's perspectives on what he's seeing. That's all there is to tell," I explained, hoping she'd let it go though she didn't seem like the type to let anything go.

"So, wait, you're in love with a guy who was about to become a priest? I can see the draw for him…you've got that naughty virgin thing going for you, and I'm sure he's probably untouched as well, so I'd say it's a match made in…well, heaven. His mother is beautiful, so he must be one hot guy. So, are you two an item or something," she teased.

Her observation that I was in love with Edward surprised me, but I wasn't about to address it with her. It seemed like something I should definitely address with him first. "He's handsome, but he's also a kind, gentle soul. I'm just kind of worried about what my friend Jasper is going to do to him over the next three months. They're about as opposite as night and day, and Jazz has a way of rubbing off on you if you spend too much time with him. While I wouldn't mind Edward loosening up a little bit, I certainly don't want him to become like Jasper," I confessed completely ignoring her comment regarding whether we were an item because I wasn't sure exactly how to answer her about that one.

"Hmm. This Jasper sounds like he's right up my alley. Do tell," she ordered. It struck me that maybe she was just the ticket for one Jasper Whitlock. I could sic her on him and maybe he'd cut Edward some slack. I was going to have to tell Jasper that Edward and I were…what were we actually? That was the first thing I needed to pin down before I told Jasper not to try to get Edward laid in Thailand or something. If and when the time came for anything of _that_ sort, I wanted it to be me, not some petite Asian woman who probably knew tricks that I wouldn't even be able to read about in a magazine, much less ever fathom doing.

After Alice left, I settled at my computer to send two e-mails. One was going to be to my good friend Jasper warning him of the bodily appendage I would remove not so gently if he did anything to corrupt Edward. The second was going to be to Edward to warn him of some of Jasper's tendencies.

**FROM: [**_bellaswan913_]

**TO: **[thewanderer]

**DATE: **13 September 2011

**RE: DON'T YOU DARE**

_My dear friend, Jasper – If you value your family jewels the way I know that you do, DO NOT…I repeat, DO NOT turn my kind, sweet friend, Edward, into the slut-seeking man-whore you are. I will stake you out in the desert and pour honey on your junk, then unleash an army of honey bees with a backup battalion of fire ants onto your body. After they've done their worst, I'll take a dull butter knife and remove your swollen appendage, feeding it to a rabid dingo. _

_You might think I'm kidding, but trust me, I'm deadly serious. The man has only ever drunk beer or wine in front of me, so do not give him hard liquor and don't set him up with a hooker. Also, if you get to Amsterdam, which I'm sure you will because I know you, do not take him to a coffee house. I mean it. Thank you for your birthday wish. Love, Bella_

I re-read my threat and decided that I'd presented my case pretty convincingly, so I hit send and then took a deep breath, trying to get back into the mindset to respond to the sweet e-mail Edward had sent to me.

**FROM: **_[bellaswan913]_

**TO: **_[dazed_and_confused]_

**DATE: **13 September 2011

**RE: Re: **_Happy Birthday Baby_

_You, sir, are a remarkable man. Thank you for the cupcakes (even if your mommy made them!), and thank you for the wonderful note and e-mail. They were the best birthday gifts I've ever received. I got another gift from Alice that I won't describe to you because, in light of your nocturnal admission, I don't think your heart could take it._

_I was totally remiss in not warning you about Jasper. Jasper Whitlock has the innate ability to cause normally intelligent women to drop their panties like an April shower. He drinks too much. He enjoys recreational, um, pursuits of the pharmaceutical kind, and if I know him, he'll see you as a challenge to see how many of your values he can compromise. Lock and load those defenses, Mr. Cullen. I want you just the way you were when you left. If anyone's going to get you to compromise your values, it's going to be me._

_You don't need to bring me gifts; you just need to bring me you. I'm guessing that you'll be home sometime in November…I mean, if you're still coming back to Washington. I've been wrestling with the distinct possibility that if this goes well for you, you'll likely want to settle in DC in order to work for "National Geographic," but I'll cross that bridge when we get there, if indeed, it's a bridge that you want me to cross at all. _

_Sitting here with you thousands of miles away tends to allow me too much time to think. Alice asked me what we were to each other, and I didn't really have an answer beyond good friends so I'm sort of having a little freak out moment, but don't worry about it._

_The pictures were incredible. The picture of little Melly in the foreground with the two older gentlemen sitting on the porch was the perfect juxtaposition of young versus old dealing with the same situation but still able to find something to smile about and share a quiet moment amidst the chaos. I'm certain that it's a photo that someone will definitely want to use._

_I'm going to shower and go to bed. Please stay warm and don't freeze off anything important. I miss you more than I can begin to put into words._

_My heart's with you as well,_

_Bella (The Overthinker)_

I hit send before I changed my mind about the things I'd confessed in the e-mail, and I prayed that I wouldn't receive a response that would make me sorry for taking a chance. In my heart, I knew I wouldn't see anyone while he was gone, but I didn't have the same assurance from him. That was the biggest question in my mind. Were we actually waiting for each other, or were we simply going to address our feelings when he came home…if he came home.

I drifted into sleep that night with the image of Edward and me sharing a tent, which wasn't exactly one I was ready to process, but I couldn't let it go. I was sure I'd have many such thoughts over the time he was away, and I'd have to learn how to handle them before I combusted.

\\\

_**E/N: We're progressing.**_

_**Till next time…xoxo**_


	5. Chapter 5

_**A/N: Happy Friday! I'm so very happy with the reviews. I know that you're all concerned about how it's going to go for the virgins, but rest assured…HEA here!**_

_**SMeyer owns all Twilight characters. No copyright infringement intended.**_

_**So, someone's comin' to call…**_

_**\\\**_

5. The Unexpected Visitor

BELLA

"Okay, everyone remember to do their math worksheets. I'll be collecting them first thing Monday, so there won't be time in class. Let's give ourselves a big hand for everyone getting above a ninety on our spelling tests," I coaxed as I handed out mini candy bars as treats that Friday afternoon while my students applauded themselves.

I hadn't heard from Edward in a week, and I was sort of in freak-out mode. Alice had mentioned that she'd heard back from Jasper after I'd given her his e-mail address, so I knew that somewhere along the way they had internet access. It made me sick to my stomach that I'd harpooned a relationship with him by getting too clingy before we even got off the ground. That led me to thinking that maybe he'd met someone else because of my comments, and I was almost out of my mind over it.

I looked up at the clock to see that the bell was about to ring in five minutes so I told everyone to gather their things, and I went to erase the vocabulary words for the next week from the board. I felt a peck on my shoulder, and turned to see Jared Black standing next to me. "Jared, what can I do for you?" I asked as I dusted my hands together to lose the chalk dust.

"Um, my mom sent this note for you yesterday, and I forgot about it," he confessed as he handed me an envelope with my name on it. He looked a little worried.

"Oh, thanks. No problem," I answered as I opened it and read the paper inside.

_Miss Swan,_

_On behalf of the Tribe, I'd like to invite you to a bonfire that Jacob and I are hosting on Saturday night at First Beach. We'd like to give everyone in the community the opportunity to meet with you and the rest of the faculty, so we hope that you'll be able to attend. Feel free to bring a friend. Food will be served at 6:00 PM. _

_I look forward to meeting you, officially._

_Sincerely,_

_Leah Black_

I folded the note and placed it on my desk, turning to Jared. "Please tell your parents that I'll be happy to attend the party, and we don't need to mention that you forgot to give me the note. This can stay between us. In the future, though, can you put anything from your parents into your daily folder?" I asked nicely. He nodded just as the bell rang.

Everyone said their good-byes as they hurried out of the classroom, and I continued to clean up the room for the weekend. I heard, rather than saw, Alice Brandon waltz into my room once the students were gone, and I turned to see her with a big smile on her face.

"How was your day?" she gushed. I could tell something was on her mind, and I was far too tense to really play the game with her.

"Fine. Are you coming to the bonfire tomorrow night?" I asked tersely. I didn't really mean to take out my foul mood on her, but I couldn't help myself. The panic had set in, and I had no way to keep it at bay.

"I am. What's wrong?" she asked as she pulled a chair from behind one of the desks and sat down while I continued to erase the blackboard.

"I'm just a stupid, stupid woman. I know you've heard from Jasper, so I know they've had access to the internet over the last week. I haven't heard a word from Edward after the message I sent him on my birthday, and I'm scared out of my mind. I'm afraid I pushed him too hard on something, driving him away. I've considered sending another message, but if he's not answering my first one, I don't think all of the messages in the world can undo the damage I've done. Apparently, I'm a total fail at relationships," I lamented as I brushed my hair out of my eyes.

"Oh, now, don't do that. I'm sure he's just trying to figure out what to say. From what you've told me, he's a bit on the shy side, so give him the benefit of the doubt. I'll call you tomorrow," she informed as she quickly breezed out of the room.

I gathered my purse and bag, grabbing a stack of papers to grade over the weekend, and I closed my classroom door after I made certain that everything was shut down for the weekend. I stopped and talked to Quil Ateara, the elderly janitor, and then I made my way out to my dad's old truck to go home.

I had plans to go straight to the tub with a bottle of wine and drown my sorrows, and then fall into bed and not think about anything for the remainder of the night. I didn't have a very optimistic feeling about the plan.

##

EDWARD

"I got a very interestin' message from Swan yesterday. She threatened a very important part of my anatomy, so I gotta ask ya, what's up between the two of you? She's a girl I should have never let get away, but I was too fuckin' stupid to do anything about it at the time. She seems to be very protective of you, so what gives?" Jasper asked me as we were settling into a few beers at our campsite.

Getting to know Jasper Whitlock had been an interesting experience. From what I could tell, the man went nowhere without a bottle of Jack Daniel's and a joint. He'd offered to share both with me on more than one occasion, but it wasn't anything in which I was interested. The night before, he didn't come back to the campsite at all, but I didn't have to wonder where he was because he'd flirted with the young waitress at the diner, and when we finished our dinner, I saw him whisper to her. He'd given me the keys to the Jeep we were driving and told me to get a good night's sleep, so I simply laughed and retired to my tent alone.

I reviewed the pictures I'd taken that day and deleted the ones I wasn't interested in keeping, downloading the remainder to my laptop in order to erase the memory card on my new camera, courtesy of _National Geographic_ magazine…namely, a female editor named Maria Zapata who I could tell was in some sort of a relationship with Jasper.

The time in DC had been enlightening. It was a crash course of what was going on in the real world, and to say it was a bit of a shock to my system was truly an understatement. During that two weeks, which was crazy busy with doctors' appointments and visa applications to more than a dozen countries because Jasper couldn't narrow down where we were going which sort of freaked me out, the only thing that kept me remotely sane was talking to Bella every night before bed.

Jasper casually mentioned that her birthday was September 13, so I called my mother and struck a deal with her to help me out with a surprise, and I was quite happy I'd made the arrangements before we left for Alaska, having mailed Mom the note to accompany the cupcakes.

The village of Shishmaref, Alaska, was more than I was prepared to deal with, first cat out of the sack. Jasper explained that he'd been there two years earlier after a particularly brutal storm had taken out a lot of the coastline, and he'd made friends with a lot of the inhabitants of the village so he was anxious to go back and see how everyone had faired and how much closer they were to being able to move the village. It had been a story that he'd done at the time, and he saw it as a great follow-up, using my pictures and thoughts to punctuate his point that they needed help that they weren't getting.

It was a small village…just a hair above five hundred residents, but the people were kind and generous, and the man who Jasper knew well, Reuben, had invited us to his home for dinner. I felt guilty about taking them up on it because I could see that they were existing on far less money than even me when I was in seminary, and he had two little girls, Melly who was six, and Addy, who was three. Both little girls were adorable, though Melly was a lot more outgoing than Addy, and I was happy that I got the shots I did.

"As I explained, I met her on a flight from Phoenix to Washington. We're good friends," I remarked casually as I took a sip from my beer.

I looked at him and he smirked as he finished his beer. "I'm callin' bullshit on that one, son. I saw you buy that necklace from the store, and I'd venture a guess it ain't for your momma," he joked.

I'd bought a necklace for Bella. It was whalebone carved into the shape of a heart. It was on a silver chain, and it was something that I thought she'd appreciate so when I saw it, I didn't hesitate to purchase it. It was in my duffel in a small woven bag that I'd bought to hold the trinkets I'd planned to buy for her, and I was anxious to give it to her.

I occurred to me that if he'd received an e-mail from her, I probably had as well. I needed to check for it because I'd been tied up in knots about the message I'd sent to her and how she'd received the cupcakes. "Where are we off to next?" I asked as I finished my beer and grabbed another.

Jasper was poking the fire and tossing on another log. He sat back down and looked at the burning embers, smiling. "Well, I've been thinkin' about it, but I'll let you decide. We can go to the Cadillac Ranch in Amarillo, or we can go to the UFO Welcome Center in South Carolina. There's always the Lunch Box Museum in Georgia, or one of my personal favorites, The Donner Party Memorial in the great city of Truckee, California. I'd say as an afterthought, maybe we could go to _Machu Picchu_ in Peru or _O Cristo Redentor_ in Rio, but I'll leave it to you," he replied with a smirk.

"Well, since I've been freezing my ass off here, I'd say it's time to head somewhere warm, and The Donner Party Memorial seems a little bleak for my tastes. Brazil it is," I announced, feeling a little tipsy.

He laughed. "Sounds good to me," he replied as he toasted with me. Well, the next stop on my adventure was Brazil. I'd learned a lot in Alaska, seeing how the people in the village seemed to find happiness in their circumstance, and I knew it was a lesson I'd take with me for the rest of my life.

The next morning, I went to the store to ask to use their internet connection again. Reuben, the proprietor, was more than gracious so I wasted no time logging into my personal e-mail account. After what felt like forever, it loaded, and when I saw the e-mail from Bella, I smiled. I smiled until I read it.

I read it twice, and I knew I had a problem. I'd been so caught up in everything that I was experiencing in Alaska that I hadn't thought about some important things that any normal guy who was accustomed to dealing with women would have considered. She truly needn't have warned me about Jasper because I picked up on his M.O. the first night he dragged me to a bar in DC.

He'd tried to get me to "hook up" with a few different young women, and when I declined their advances as nicely as I could, he asked me if I played for the other team, qualifying his comment with an "I give two shits less if you do, but I'm not into any kind of Brokeback Mountain situation here." Even I, with my limited exposure to modern cinema, knew to what he was inferring, and cowboy coitus was the last thing on my mind.

I explained to him that I didn't play for the other team but that I had a different view on casual sex than he, so he let it go, thankfully. Of course, Bella knew that about him, and based on what she knew about me, I could see that she might worry.

The other thing that worried me was the comment that she didn't know what to tell her friend regarding the relationship we were diving into. I should have solidified it before I left, but I thought that confessing to her that I was falling in love with her equated to a commitment. Apparently, she didn't reach the same conclusion.

I formulated a written response to her in my head, but as I typed it out, I could see that the things I was telling her in the e-mail were things that should be said in person, so I deleted the response, booked two plane tickets to Brazil with a stop for a week in Seattle, and I returned to our little campsite to explain myself to Jasper.

As I was approaching my tent, I could see him heading to the Jeep, most likely to go to the diner for round two with the waitress, so I quickly caught up with him. "First, I'm sorry for you that you let Bella get away when you had the chance, but that chance is gone, so just get that shit out of your head.

"Second, I booked our tickets to Brazil, but we're going to make a little side trip for the week. I'll pay for the rental car and you can stay at my parents' house, but I've got something to take care of that can't possibly wait until I get home in November. Third, if this gig with '_National Geographic_' works out for me, I'm not moving to DC. They'll have to deal with me from Washington State. I'm not deluding myself that they'll want me on any permanent basis, but if you hear anything about it, you make it known that I won't move for any reason.

"Finally, if you're of the inclination to partake of any illegal substances, I'd appreciate it if you didn't do it around me," I concluded my tirade.

I looked at him, and he laughed. "Swan got to you in more than one way, now didn't she? What's your fuckin' deal?" he asked.

"Six weeks ago, I was one week away from taking my final vows to enter the priesthood. I didn't do it, and then I met Bella and fell head over heels in love with her. She's my future, and I need to tell her that in person. You got a problem with that?" I asked him. I was prepared to fight him if I had to, though I hoped not because I actually liked the guy.

"Nope. Let's eat and break camp. We'll get Harry to take us to Nome, which is where I assume we're leavin' from, and then you go get your girl," he replied. I was quite happy with that response.

Unfortunately, it had taken a few days to actually be able to get out of Nome because of the damn weather. Finally, on Thursday, nearly a week from when I'd received Bella's e-mail, we were able to get out. We didn't get into Sea-Tac until nearly 10:00 PM, and by the time we made the drive to Forks, it was after 2:00 AM. It was far too late for me to show up at Bella's house, and at that point, only a face-to-face meeting would do.

I fell into a restless sleep, waking far too early the next morning. After a shower, which I sorely needed, and a shave, which I needed even more, I went downstairs to find my parents talking to Jasper, who was sitting at my mother's kitchen table eating pancakes in his boxers and an old _Def Leppard_ t-shirt.

My father had a smirk on his face, and my mother had a look on hers that I didn't even want to consider. "Whitlock, if you need to do laundry, I can show you where the washer is," I volunteered as I grabbed coffee and sat down.

"No need, Padre. Your momma was kind enough to show me how to work the blasted thing, so I'm well on my way. You look purdy," Jasper teased as he reached over and pinched my cheek. I could see that he hadn't shaved, and I wasn't getting close enough to find out if he'd showered.

"Edward, would you like some breakfast?" Mom asked as she rose from her seat and walked over to the warmer over the ovens.

"I can get it, Mom. Thanks for making the cupcakes and taking them to school for Bella's birthday. I know that she appreciated them," I offered.

"Oh, here," Mom responded as she went to the drawer of the desk in the kitchen and pulled out a note, handing it to me. I read it, and it warmed my heart.

_Dear Mrs. Cullen,_

_Thank you so much for the cupcakes for my birthday. My class enjoyed them very much, as did some of the faculty. I took two of them home with me for breakfast the next morning. _

_I'm certain that you're missing Edward as much as I am, but I can tell you, based on what I heard from him, he's onto something that's going to change his life, I just know it._

_I'd like to get together with you for lunch sometime, if you're free. Please call me and let's set something up soon. Spending time with you is almost as wonderful as spending time with your son. I hope you see the compliment in my statement because I cherish every moment I got to spend with Edward before he left._

_My heartfelt thanks,_

_Bella Swan_

It wasn't even a surprise to me really. I knew that the woman was kinder than anyone I'd ever met, and I saw it in every word.

I looked up at my parents who were both staring at me with small smiles on their faces. "She's right, but she left out one important fact. She failed to mention the fact that I'm in love with her. Don't freak out, okay? And, please, don't start hovering over her. If I have my way, she's going to be around for a long time and you'll have all the time you want to spend with her in the future. Just don't overwhelm her," I begged.

My dad squeezed Mom's hand, and they both smiled at me. "Glad to hear it. Now, tell us how it was in Alaska," Dad asked, changing the subject. I appreciated it, and I told them the stories I'd actually written down in a journal that I'd bought at the airport in Virginia before we'd left the DC area.

They were memories I wanted to document, and I wanted to be able to share them with Bella at some point in time. They were important to me and she was important to me, so I had no problem envisioning the two of us sitting by a fire somewhere in the future and reading them with me filling in details that I hadn't recorded. It gave me a great sense of peace as I sat at the table with my parents that morning. It had been a while since I had a clear picture for my future, but as it was unfolding in front of me, it seemed to me that it was going to be wonderful.

##

I walked to the spare room where I saw Jasper packing up his clean clothes, finally dressed, and I wondered what he was doing. "Where are you going?" I asked as I leaned against the doorframe.

He turned to look over his shoulder and smiled. "Don't worry, Sweetheart, I'm not leavin' ya forever. I have an invitation for a pajama party for the weekend, so I'm gonna take the little lady up on it because, quite honestly, I've spent more time with you lately than I've ever spent with a woman, and it's a little bit disturbin'. Good thing your momma's happily married. She could make me rethink my roguish lifestyle.

"I assume I'll see you at some point over the weekend because Ali told me that there's some party down at the reservation. Bring your camera, Padre. There might be a chance to get some good shots. You just never know," he instructed as he zipped his bag and turned around to stare at me.

"You really are an ass," I joked.

"You betcha. Go get your girl before somebody else does," he called as he shuffled down the stairs and out the front door. I had no idea if he was walking or running or had called a cab. I was just happy to have the quiet. I went to my room and lie down on my bed for a while, eventually dozing off, which was unusual for me.

I woke with a jolt after a particularly graphic dream that took me by surprise. My body seemed to have taken over from my brain, and I didn't know what to do about it because I hadn't encountered such a problem in a very long time. How to actually handle it, while not completely foreign to me in times of weakness in my teens, was absolutely going to be the only thing that would allow me to go out into public without causing an embarrassing display.

I wasn't accustomed to those types of physical feelings, but I didn't want to suppress them because eventually, I knew that my libido would lead me in a direction that I needed to be prepared to handle. I didn't know when, except that it would be in the future, but I needed to become familiar with the feelings that I'd long forgotten because when the time came, I wanted to be ready.

After a long shower that I wasn't particularly proud of, I dressed and decided that I needed to get on the road if I was going to meet Bella after school.

I hurried downstairs, and just as I was about to leave, I heard my mother call from the kitchen. "Edward, hang on."

I waited by the door, keys in hand and camera strap on my shoulder, and when she walked into the foyer with a small bouquet of flowers, I looked at her quizzically. "You're new to all of this so I'm going to help you out a little bit. Jasper mentioned that you didn't get to keep in touch with Bella as well as you probably should have considering that it's so new and she's apparently distraught over some e-mail exchange, so a few sweet smelling flowers can't hurt. In the future, you'll want to call her or respond to e-mail as quickly as possible. This little dramatic display won't work again, but I think it'll work this time," Mom schooled as she handed me the flowers.

I kissed her cheek for her thoughtfulness and left, quickly making my way to the reservation and arriving just as the dismissal bell rang. I heard it and I saw the kids running out, and surprisingly, I had my camera ready. I started taking shots of the happy faces of the students as they ran to the three busses and handful of cars that were waiting for them. I'd learned that if I was serious about it, I needed to be ready to take pictures when the opportunity presented itself.

I was taking a picture of two small children, a boy and a girl, walking out to a bus holding hands when I saw Bella walk out of the building. I quickly shifted my focus, quite literally, to her beautiful face. She actually looked sad for a minute but when she saw me, the smile was unmistakable, and it was one I was prepared to claim as just for me. She ran to where I stood, and I was able to snap a final photo before I dropped the camera into the open window of the rental car just as she launched herself into my arms, making me feel whole again.

"What are you doing here, you beautiful man," she whispered into my ear as I held her aloft, cradling her tightly to me and feeling a sense of relief wash over my whole being. I was certain that the little three-month endeavor that Jasper had envisioned was going to take far longer because I didn't know how long I could be away from her before I actually lost my mind.

"I needed to talk to you and hold you and kiss you to remind myself that it's not a dream that you're in my life now. Remember what I wrote in a previous e-mail about inflection and intent being lost in print? What I have to tell you couldn't be left to interpretation in an e-mail. Get in. We need to talk," I told her as I carried her around the car and put her on her feet. I wanted to kiss her with everything in me, but there were too many prying eyes around…many of them of the innocent variety…so after I had her settled in the Ford Taurus that I'd rented, I ran around to the driver's side of the car and hopped in.

"Edward, I didn't mean to make presumptions in my message that you and I…" she began. I picked up her left hand and kissed it, effectively silencing her.

"We'll get to it all. I'm here for the weekend, and we need to sort some things out before I leave on Monday for Brazil," I told her. She smiled and grasped my hand tightly, and I felt my soul right itself. Her touch was one I'd need for the rest of my damn life.

##

"I don't have the right shoes for this walk. It's like a mile," she complained when I pulled into the parking lot of the park and pulled a blanket out of the back.

"Leave your shoes in the car and hop on. It's not quite a mile, and I can certainly carry you. I'm stronger than I look," I ordered as I stooped down and pulled her onto my back. Nothing was going to stop me from getting her where I wanted her to have the discussion that had been barraging my brain since I'd read her e-mail when I was in Alaska.

Fifteen minutes later, we were in the meadow near the falls, and I'd spread the blanket on the ground and pulled her to sit down facing me. All I had was a bottle of water because I intended to take her to dinner once we had our discussion, but what I had to say couldn't wait.

I sat across from her, having kicked off my sneakers and stretched my legs out in front of me, and as I leaned back on my hands on the blanket to keep them from molesting her, I looked into her eyes, and I laughed at myself.

I thought I had my entire life mapped out, whether I wanted it or not, and nowhere in my grand plan had a beautiful little brunette with brown eyes and a sweet smile ever figured into it. It was almost as if God was mocking me. As they say, "If you want to hear God laugh…make plans."

"Isabella Swan, I can't believe that you were questioning my motives so quickly into this relationship. Fine, you want to define things? Let's do it. If it will keep you from sending me e-mails that will send me into panic attacks, then let's narrow this down. By the way, when we get further into this, I've gotta know what Alice gave you for your birthday, because that's haunted my dreams since I read it. Now, ask your questions," I demanded as I stared at her, seeing her as flustered as she was on the flight from Phoenix.

I leaned forward and took her hand, just as I had on that plane that day and whispered, "It's going to be fine. Look into my eyes and talk to me." I saw her tear up and then she smiled.

"First, there's no '_I think I'm falling in love with you_' any longer. I'm _in_ love with you completely. If you're not there, then that's fine, but I just need to know _where_ you are," she questioned as she held my hand tightly.

I chuckled to myself because she'd so easily articulated everything I felt that I couldn't put into words, but I knew in my heart that I had to tell her. "I don't ever really lie, you know. It goes against my nature to lie, but I told a whopper to you before I left," I began as I saw her tense in front of me.

I quickly continued, "I told you I was _falling _in love with you, and that wasn't the truth at all. I just didn't think that you were ready to hear that I was already crazy in love with you. That's not something you should tell a girl after knowing her for a few weeks, but that's what I felt even if I was too chicken shit to admit it."

"Crap, Jasper's already tainted you. Well, Mr. Chicken shit, if you're in this as deeply as I am, then we're both in a lot of trouble," she teased as she crawled onto my lap, completely surprising me.

I wrapped my arms around her and held her tightly, wishing upon hope that I never had to let her go. "How'd this happen so fast?" I whispered as I kissed her neck and took in the sweet scent that was only Bella. She smelled like strawberries and flowers, and I didn't know if it was cologne or body wash or shampoo. I just knew it was uniquely hers, and I'd missed it very much.

"You crawled through the window," she whispered as her lips found mine and took over every sense I had at my disposal.

_Sight_…the very sight of her caused me to lose coherent thought.

_Taste_…the taste of her kiss was more pleasurable than anything I'd ever tasted in my life.

_Touch_…feeling her in my arms reminded me that I was a man and she was a woman, and even if I wasn't exactly ready to address the physical aspect of our relationship, I was fairly certain that when I did, it would be something I'd never forget.

_Smell_…the woman smelled better than anything I'd smelled in my life. I'd always liked the incense that was used in certain Masses, even if some of them weren't particularly happy Masses, but I liked the smell nonetheless. Bella smelled better than any incense I'd ever smelled in my life.

_Sound_…hearing the sounds that she made…the tiny moans when I kissed her and the sound of her beautiful laugh…was more than I was prepared to ever experience, but I found myself craving them.

_The sixth sense_…the physical craving my body had made known, that was the one I was having the hardest time dealing with in that moment. Every impulse told me it was time to show her how much I loved her, but my brain, that horrible organ, reminded me that it wasn't right to try to make love for the first time to her in a field after having only known her for six weeks and having been away from her for three of those weeks. My brain had no problem forcing my Catholic upbringing to the forefront either, which shut me down completely.

I pulled away from her while I still had some hold on my faculties and looked into her eyes to see confusion. I never wanted her to be confused, so I knew I had to address the issue head on. "Bella, I love you, but I think that it's too soon for us to take the next step, and even if the time was right, it's not the place. I'm just not ready, okay?" I pleaded, hoping and praying that she'd understand.

She hauled herself from my lap and looked into my eyes with a question. I nodded that she should ask it, and I braced myself. "Will you ever be ready? I mean, I don't know if you know it, but I've never…um, been with anyone the way I want to be with you. If it's not something you think you can ever do, then I'd like to know it. Look, I know that there's a very strong possibility that at the end of this journey, you might go right back to the seminary and take those vows, and God knows that I don't want to do anything that would jeopardize you taking them. I just need to know how much of a possibility it is," she asked quietly.

I could see how, in her mind, it was a distinct possibility, but in mind it wasn't. "Bella, seriously? You think that after this I could go back to that life? I can promise you that I couldn't. I want you as much as I think or hope that you want me; it's just that I don't want our first time together to end with me getting on a plane for Brazil. When we finally, um, take that step…hell, when we make love, I want us to wake up together and not have to leave to go anywhere, okay?

"If you think for a minute that I don't think about us being together like that, you really need to check in with a mental health professional. It's all the hell I think about lately, okay? I'm seventeen again, for crap's sake. It's all I can do not to throw you onto this blanket and rip off your clothes right here, but that's not what I want for either of our first times, Sweetheart. I want it to be right," I explained as I held her hand, pouring my heart out to her.

She let go of a heavy breath and smiled at me. "Thank God. I mean, that's probably inappropriate considering… but I'm relieved. I love you," she responded. That was all I needed to hear. She loved me.

"I love you more than I've ever loved anyone or anything in my life. Bella, _you_ are my life now. I still feel that I need to finish this assignment, but I want you to understand that I'm yours. There's no one in the world for me but you. I hate to confess this, but if I was just coming home to visit before taking my vows and had met you on that plane, I'd have probably not been able to take them. I'd already made my decision before I met you, but had I not, you'd have given me pause. You're a one of a kind woman and I want to be able to tell people that I meet that I have someone waiting for me at home. I want to tell people that I'm taken, and I have no room in my life for anyone else. Can I say that?" I asked, sounding like a lovesick fool. I just needed the confirmation.

"You'd better say that or what I told Jasper I'd do to him will be nothing compared to what I'd do to you, Edward Cullen. I love you with all of my heart…my whole heart…and I don't do that without a lot of dissecting and worry, but I feel like I can trust you with it so there it is, at your feet. Pick it up or leave it there…it's your decision," she responded more confidently than I'd ever seen her.

I pulled her into my arms and held her tightly, kissing her sweetly at first and then allowing it to grow into something deeper. I pulled her onto my chest and closed my eyes, relishing in the feel of her body next to mine. When the time came for us to actually consummate the relationship, I knew it would be as close to heaven as I might ever get. I didn't know if we'd wait until marriage, but I knew that whenever it happened, it would be a life changing experience for me.

My upbringing and subsequent training had ingrained in me that there was one reason for physical relations between a man and a woman…to produce children. In that moment as I held her, I had the distinct impression that it was yet another thing that I'd question when I lie in my bed alone. Surely, God didn't give such a wonderful gift as physical love to a man and a woman and not expect them to appreciate it? That didn't make sense to me at all.

As much as I'd held the thoughts at arms-length for years, I knew that men and women made love for different reasons than just to have children. There were a lot of people out there having sex, and while I was trained to believe that the only heavenly sanctioned reason was to bring children into the world, I could actually see that there might possibly be other reasons to be with someone other than procreation.

It was a very surprising concept to me, but as Bella rested her head on my chest in that meadow while the sun began to set, I could understand it perfectly. Sometimes, it would be about showing your partner that you loved them. When the day finally came that we made love, that would be the reason…I'd show her physically how much I loved her emotionally. It seemed like a new secret that someone had let me in on.

How long I could wait, I didn't know, but the day would come when Isabella Swan would know how much I loved her, emotionally and physically. Of that, I was certain.

_**\\\**_

_**E/N: Till Tuesday…xoxo**_


	6. Chapter 6

_**A/N: Happy Tuesday! Thank you for your reviews on the last chapter. I loved each of them. Can't wait to hear your thoughts on this one!**_

_**SMeyer owns all Twilight characters. No copyright infringement intended.**_

_**\\\**_

6. The Boner Ultimatum

EDWARD

##

"Come in for dinner, please? I'm not exactly ready to be away from you yet," Bella asked as I shifted the car into park on her father's driveway.

Without a word, I shot out of the car and helped her out, wrapping my arm around her waist and guiding us to the front porch. She opened the door and tossed her bag and purse on a bench nearby as I closed it behind us.

"So, what would you like for dinner? Thankfully, I didn't put out any fish today before I went to school, so we can have something else," she suggested as she perused the cabinets and refrigerator.

"For all I care, I can eat cold cereal," I responded as I walked up behind her and wrapped my arms around her, kissing her on the neck. Where the newfound bravado was coming from, I wasn't sure. Maybe Jasper was rubbing off on me more than I thought.

She quickly turned in my arms and wrapped hers around my neck, pulling me down for a searing kiss and causing me to moan embarrassingly loud as I thoroughly enjoyed the feeling of her next to me and her lips on mine.

"Great. The guy goes from being a week away from taking a vow of chastity to molesting my daughter in my kitchen while my refrigerator door stands open. You really don't waste much time, do you Cullen?" I heard from behind me.

We pulled apart, and I saw Bella's father standing in the doorway of the kitchen looking none too pleased to see me. "Chief Swan, um, sir. It's good to see you," I choked out before I died of mortification right there in his kitchen.

"Uh huh. Where've you been? She's been moping around here like someone ran over her dog," he asked as he took off his waist holster and tossed it on the table, eyeing me carefully.

"I was in Alaska, sir," I answered honestly.

"Dad…" Bella warned next to me as she pulled out a baking dish of something and closed the refrigerator door.

"Already racking up a girl in every port? When you decided not to become a priest, you boarded a bullet train to make up for lost time, didn't ya?" he stated sarcastically.

Even in my rattled state, I could tell it was rhetorical, but I really felt like I needed to address his inference that I was being anything less than honest and faithful to Bella. "Chief Swan, sir, I was taking photos of a village on the west coast of Alaska for an article for '_National Geographic_'. There most certainly isn't a girl-in-every-port situation in my future," I defended. Bella was more than enough for me to try to figure out. A girl in every port? That certainly wasn't my style.

"Dad, enough already, okay? I've gotta get my own place," I heard her sigh behind me.

"Well, we'll see. Oh, since you're here…wait, why _are_ you here? Your mom told me you'd be gone until November. Did you walk out on _that_ as well? By the way, will you please explain to your mother that the fire hydrant in front of the bakery isn't her own personal space holder so she can 'run into the bakery real quick to grab a baguette for dinner'? I've written that woman more parking tickets in the last year than I can even count," he complained, his voice rising to what I assumed he believed was the tenor of my mother's own voice. I chuckled, knowing what he was talking about. My father complained about it all the time when I talked to them while I was at Mount St. Mary's.

"I'll try my best. I'm here for the weekend before I go to Brazil," I responded.

"What's this?" Bella asked as she lifted the foil on the pan she was holding. I looked at its contents and saw it appeared to be a casserole of some kind.

"Oh, um, Lorraine from the diner dropped it off for my dinner. She kind of makes food every once in a while and drops it off at the station. I brought it home on my lunch hour and put it in the fridge. She's a nice woman," he explained without looking Bella's direction.

"Lorraine, huh? Is she a good cook?" Bella asked as she smelled the casserole.

"Yeah, actually. Um, I think she said three-fifty for fifty minutes. I'm gonna go take a shower and change. Don't do anything I'll have to shoot you for," he ordered as he looked in my direction, sending a shiver down my spine.

After he left, I walked over to the table and sat down, trying to calm my nerves. I couldn't lie and say that the man didn't scare the hell out of me. I was pretty sure that he wouldn't shoot me in his own home, but I wasn't completely convinced that he might not try to wing me if the opportunity presented itself.

Bella put the casserole into the oven and walked over to where I sat trying not to throw up, and without warning, she dropped onto my lap. I looked at her and whispered, "Are you crazy? He'll shoot me. He already doesn't like me. If you love me, you'll want me alive and lead free, right?"

She laughed and wrapped her left arm around my shoulder and began playing with the hair at the back of my neck, sending a very pleasant tingle down my spine which erased the memory of the earlier shiver of fright. "I think he likes you just a little. You know, it's really awful with both of us living with our parents. We're never going to have any privacy," she whispered as her right hand cupped my cheek and her lips brushed gently over my jaw. The tingle down my spine turned into a shock to my system which resulted in a physiological reaction over which I had no control. I really needed to get her the hell off my lap before her father came back downstairs.

"Forget what your father's going to do to me. You're trying to kill me," I whispered as I kissed her gently on her beautiful, soft lips without a second thought to my own safety. She giggled and then mercifully…unfortunately…got up and walked to the refrigerator where she began pulling out what appeared to be the makings for salad.

I got up from the table and washed my hands to help her. "You're right about that living-with-the-parents thing. I can't really afford to move out yet because, well, I haven't made any money yet, but hopefully, this all goes well, and I'll have a check at the end of it. It's so odd to be worrying about money. I haven't had to do that for a long time," I mused as I tore the lettuce into the bowl.

"Welcome to the real world, John Mayer. So, you cook?" she asked. I really didn't understand her comment, but I was pretty sure it was a pop culture reference that I wouldn't get. She had a lot of those, as I was finding out.

"Um, we used to take turns cooking at the seminary. I can work my way around a kitchen pretty well. I can even make biscuits from scratch. One of the old monsignor's was in-residence for a while before he had to go into a nursing facility, and he was from the south. He insisted that someone learn how to make biscuits like his mother used to make, and since I was the only one who knew anything about baking, I was elected," I responded.

She was chopping vegetables at the counter to my left, and when I turned to look at her, she had a sweet smile on her face. I leaned down and kissed the tip of her nose and inquired, "What's with the smirk? Real men cook. Hell, a lot of famous chefs are men," I pointed out.

"I was just picturing you in a pink apron with flour on your face. You'd be a cute little chef. I'd eat at your restaurant," she teased.

I finished tearing the lettuce and dried my hands, taking the knife from her and placing it on the cutting board. I wrapped my arms around her again and pulled her closer, lacing my fingers behind her just at the small of her back. "I'll have to cook you something because it sounds as if you're questioning my skills," I teased as I pulled her flush against me.

"I cannot question skills to which I've never been privy…and I mean _all_ of your skills," she whispered as she kissed my neck. I felt that stir again that I'd fought to contain earlier.

"I'm afraid I haven't honed _certain_ skills yet," I answered, feeling the weight of my words. If we were ever going to get to _that_ set of skills, I was actually going to have to do some research because I had absolutely no clue what to do or how to do it. I needed advice, and I had no idea to whom to go.

It certainly wasn't anything I could talk to my father about, and if I tried to talk to Emmett, I'd never live it down I was certain. None of my friends…who had all just taken their vows…would be any help whatsoever because as far as I knew, their knowledge on the subject was just as non-existent as mine.

That left me one person, and I was pretty sure I'd rue the day I ever asked him for help, but from what I'd witnessed, he seem to have honed _his_ skills to a fine art. Brazil was going to be interesting what with the discussion I planned to have with Jasper Whitlock.

##

Saturday morning, I woke with a big smile on my face. I looked around my room and saw a new television and DVD player that I hadn't noticed the night before when I got home at midnight. Bella and I had actually sat on her front porch making out for two hours until her dad turned on the porch light, effectively signaling to me that it was time to leave.

I figured out pretty quickly when I tried to settle into bed that there was only _one way_ to get a good night's sleep, and after availing myself to it, I fell into a deep sleep, once again dreaming of brown eyes and soft lips and warm curves under my fingertips.

I got up from my bed and went to the bathroom to take a shower and go off in search of my mom. My dad was working at the hospital that day, but I knew that she was around somewhere, and she'd probably try to quiz me on what had happened the night before. She had more than a passing interest in my personal life.

When I returned to my room from the shower, I saw a black plastic bag on my bed. I opened it and looked inside, seeing four DVDs and a note. I pulled the note out, noticing it was in my mom's handwriting.

_Son,_

_I'm going to do some shopping in Port Angeles. I had your father pick these up for you because I believe the time will come when you need them, if my assumptions are correct, and knowing you as I do, I'm sure they are. I won't be back for at least two hours._

_Don't get upset, and I'll never bring it up to you._

_Love,_

_Mom_

I dumped the bag on the bed and began looking at the titles, feeling my entire body flush at what I was seeing. "Porn? She bought me porn?" I screamed as I stood looking at the scantily clad women on the covers of the cases.

It was the worst possible thing in the world, and I couldn't believe my own mother had set out to humiliate me in that fashion. I quickly picked them up and put them back in the bag, stuffing them into a dresser drawer.

I dressed hastily in jeans and a t-shirt, running downstairs just in time to see her car pulling out of the driveway. There were fresh muffins and coffee in the kitchen, but I had absolutely no appetite at that moment.

I picked up the newspaper and tossed it on the counter, grabbing myself a cup of coffee to try to calm down before I broke something. I flipped through the first section, but I was so freaked out, I couldn't even read the stupid thing. I finally tossed it aside and continued to drink my coffee, trying to think about anything other than what was hiding in my sock drawer upstairs. At least I knew why I had a new television and DVD player.

After fifteen minutes of feigning disinterest in the whole thing, my curiosity got the best of me. I grabbed a bottle of water and went back up to my room, having determined it wouldn't hurt to just see what the titles were. I closed and locked the bedroom door without thinking, and I leisurely walked over to my dresser, opening the drawer slowly as if there was a coiled rattlesnake inside waiting to spring.

I reached into the offending bag and pulled out the first DVD that my fingers touched, closing my eyes and taking a deep breath. I opened them and saw that the DVD in my hand was titled, "The Boner Ultimatum." It was the third movie in a series, and I wondered if I would be able to pick up the plot line, having not seen the previous two movies. I quickly scanned the summary and decided that maybe it had an independent plot that only involved the same characters and not a continuing theme, and since I hadn't really seen a current movie in a long time, maybe it wouldn't hurt to take a quick peek. My dad had gone to all the trouble of buying it, after all.

Without really thinking about it, I shoved it into the DVD tray and sat down on the bed, turning on the television and bracing myself for the offensive material to which I was likely subjecting myself in the name of…cinematography? It seemed that if I watched it with a greater purpose in mind other than just getting some, uh, pointers, maybe it wouldn't seem so completely wrong.

As I watched the first few minutes, I came to a few conclusions. First, the director's definition of "a plot," and my definition of "a plot," were two very different things.

Second, "real" women did _not_ appear in pornographic movies. The woman, who was apparently the male lead's partner in crime, was almost like something created in a laboratory. I determined pretty quickly that I'd prefer a real woman…like Bella.

Third, in day-to-day life, no scenario would ever develop wherein a disavowed federal agent would obtain state secrets from a stenographer at the Pentagon by performing a particular act on her that would cause her to be so overcome with lust that she'd turn over a list of CIA operatives who were out to kill him to keep him from stopping his, um, oral torture?

When a scene began wherein two KGB agents were attempting to "question" the female lead at the same time, it was just all too much for me, so I turned it off and pulled it from the player, returning it to the case and grabbing the bag from my drawer. I walked down to my father's office and put it on the middle of his desk with a note that read, "_Thanks but no thanks. I'll figure it out for myself._"

The only person in my life who could actually appreciate the situation without ridicule was my sister. She'd grown up in the same house I had, though she wasn't expected to join a nunnery. I was pretty sure all thoughts along those lines went out the window when my father caught her topless in her boyfriend's car on the hospital parking lot when she was sixteen.

My mother had a very loud discussion with her regarding appropriate behavior, of which I'm sure Rose hadn't listened, and after that, they basically followed her everywhere she went. When she and Emmett got married, my parents went on a second honeymoon in celebration of having been relieved of the responsibility of keep my sister on the straight and narrow.

I went to the house phone and dialed Rosalie's number, seeing that she would likely be home alone and awake. When she answered, she was laughing. "I was waiting for this call," she joked over the line.

"It's me, not Mom," I responded.

"Oh, I know _exactly_ who it is. I just got off the phone with Mom, and she told me what she did. Are you still glowing?" Rose asked. I was pretty sure I was, but I wasn't about to admit it.

"I'm fine, but I don't know what the hell they thought I was going to take away from the material," I complained.

"Look, they're methods are questionable, as I pointed out last night when she called me and proposed the idea, but they love you, and in their own misguided way, they're just trying to help. Do you know she made Dad drive all the way to Tacoma to buy them so he wouldn't run into anyone he knew? I told her you'd probably have a stroke. Did you even watch them?" she asked with amusement in her voice.

"Does Emmett know about this?" I questioned warily. _Oh, please God, say no._

"Are you kidding? He'd never let you live _this_ down. We're planning to come home for Christmas, and he'd start writing jokes now if he knew anything about it. So, you're really in love with this girl, Bella?" she asked.

"In love" didn't even begin to cover how I felt about Bella. If I was willing to subject myself to fifteen horrifically uncomfortable minutes of bad pornography in the outrageous expectation that maybe I could walk away with any understanding of physical relations between a man and a woman, I was truly a goner…and contrary to its title, the movie did not provide the alluded-to boner, with or without ultimatum.

"I did watch a few minutes of one, but I just couldn't imagine that outside of a pornographic movie, the scenario that was presented would ever become anyone's reality," I answered, avoiding the "love" question.

"Well, you're new to all of this, little brother, but some couples enjoy a little role…" she began down a path I definitely wanted to fell a tree on to cut it off.

"Stop. Don't want to hear it. I'm just trying to figure out if I should be completely pissed at them about this or if I should chalk it up to dementia and forget it," I explained.

"In a strange way, I think it's kind of sweet. They know you'd never sit through a discussion with either of them, but they don't want you to feel inadequate. How soon is this particular cherry-popping going to take place," my sister asked. Mortification didn't begin to touch how I felt at the mere reference.

"Rosalie," I groaned at her less than virtuous label of what I was pretty sure was inevitable.

"Based on your protestations, I'd guess you're not at critical mass yet, so there's time for a little research. Look, at the end of the day, nobody's first time is fireworks and brass bands. It's a lot of fumbling and nerves, and it goes by in a flash, but then, after all of _that's_ over, you get to the good part where you can take your time and figure out what you each like and don't like and, you know, what turns you both on. I realize you're a little late to the parade on this, but if your girl is anything like you, it's a journey you'll take together. You're not expected to know everything your first time. Hell, if you did, I'm pretty sure she'd question whether you were being honest with her in the first place. I know I would," she presented. I tended to agree that she had a good point.

When the time came for _that_ particular step in our relationship, if Bella was able to do some of those things that the blonde in the video was doing, I'd definitely believe I'd been duped. I was fairly certain that we could figure it out together. It was just another thing in a long line of things that I wanted to figure out with her.

"Thanks, Rose. I'll buy you something shiny in Brazil," I teased.

"Thanks, Teddy. I want to tell you again how proud I am of you for figuring out on your own whether the priesthood was right for you. I know Mom and Dad…well, Mom mostly…pushed it pretty hard, but I just never saw it. I'm glad you didn't go through with it against your better judgment.

"Now, a little parting advice before you hang up on me. Nothing will take wind out of your sails faster than too much planning. It's gotta be spontaneous. Also, you might want to take a pre-emptive strike at it beforehand…pun intended…long shower…body wash…you get the picture. And, finally, use protection," Rosalie enumerated. She was right, before she got any further along in what I was sure was a laundry list of tips, I hit the off button on the phone and placed it back on the cradle.

She had given me a lot to think about, but I couldn't let her continue because I was pretty sure she was going to pull out some sort of a book and begin quoting me positions and angles at any moment. I couldn't take _that_ at all.

I grabbed a muffin from the counter, somehow regaining my appetite, and sat down with the paper again. At least that time, I got through the front page.

##

BELLA

"Hello?" I answered. I was cleaning out my father's freezer on Saturday morning. After he'd confessed that some woman was bringing him food, I decided to see how long he'd kept some of the dishes, knowing that he likely wouldn't have even cleaned them out or washed them before returning them. Some of the things I found were somewhat disturbing, and I wondered how I hadn't had the forethought to clean it out when I first arrived on the scene.

"Hi, Bella. Whatcha you doin'?" It was Alice, and I had no idea why she was calling me on Saturday morning.

"Cleaning out my dad's freezer. You?" I asked without really thinking. Something brown had my attention, and as much as I didn't want to know what it was, I was sort of curious.

"Actually, I'm sitting in my kitchen watching Jasper wash the breakfast dishes. I wondered if you wanted to get together this afternoon for a little shopping before the bonfire tonight. Jazz and Edward are apparently going to be working this afternoon, so we're both going to have some free time," Alice proposed. I was actually stunned silent because I had no idea that Jasper was with her. I also had no idea when it had progressed to something more than just a few likely illicit e-mails between them.

"Jasper's in town, too? And, he's with you?" I asked not at all trying to mask the surprise in my voice.

"As a matter of fact, yes," she answered with a chuckle. I heard Jasper laughing in the background, and I absolutely had to know what the hell he was doing. Alice was my friend, and I didn't want him to screw her over…literally…as he had so many women in the past.

"Could you please put him on? I haven't had the opportunity to speak with him in a while," I gritted out.

I heard her giggle, and then I heard, "Hello, darlin'. Any new developments you'd like to disclose to your good buddy Jasper regarding boot knockin' with the padre?" he teased.

"If by 'padre' you mean Edward, and if by 'boot knockin'' you mean anything sexual, then no. If by 'good buddy Jasper', you're referring to yourself, you're mistaken, jackass. Did you get my e-mail regarding not tainting my friend? He's a nice guy, and I foolishly didn't warn him about you and your lascivious ways. By the way, what are you doing at Alice's?" I snapped.

"Aw, now, don't be that way. You know you love me. I got your e-mail, but I think it's time to come clean with Uncle Jazz regardin' what the guy actually means to ya. I've been livin' with the lovesick idiot for three weeks, and I know that he's ass over appetite about ya. I tried to get him to hook up with a sure thing in DC, but he turned it down flat, so you've got yourself a keeper there, Swan," he replied.

At least I was smart enough to anticipate that he'd pull a stunt like that. "If you try to hook him up with a sure thing again, I'll walk on your junk with golf cleats, do you hear me?" I threatened.

"Loud and clear, Bella, loud and clear. I gotta go. Miss Esme's makin' lunch for me, and I sure don't wanna be late. She's a sweet woman, and I get the impression that she really likes me…oh, and she _really_ likes you as well. I'll see ya tonight," he told me and then I heard Alice saying something to him over the line, followed by a long silence, which I was sure meant that they were making out, and they'd forgotten all about me on the phone.

"ALICE!" I yelled, hoping to snap her out of the Jasper-infused daze I was sure she was in. I'd seen it with other women before, and I hated to tell her but she was setting herself up for a world of hurt.

"I'm back. I'll be there in thirty minutes. Please wear something that won't upset me. We've got lots to talk about," she ordered and then hung up on me without giving me a choice.

I quickly dial Edward's cell. "Good morning, love," I heard through the phone. It actually warmed me all the way down to my blue toenails, which I noticed needed to be dealt with because the polish was chipped, and I certainly couldn't wear sandals that night with my toes in such a state of neglect.

"Good morning. Why is Jasper at Alice's?" I asked.

"Is that where he went? He didn't tell me when he left. He's on his way back here for lunch. Seems my mother has a bit of a crush on him, and when he called to tell me he needs to go through the pictures I took in Alaska and he needs to write the follow-up or something, she invited him for lunch. She's downstairs frying chicken I believe. Anyway, how are you? Did you sleep well?" he asked sweetly_. God, he was so cute._

"I'm fine, for now. Alice is on her way over to drag me into some retail therapy. As for sleeping, I didn't really. After our little make-out session last night, I was a bit high strung. The last time I looked at the clock, it was 3:00 AM. You?" I responded.

The night before had been absolutely miserable because of the absolutely perfect making out that took place on the front porch. I couldn't get to sleep, and I couldn't get certain images out of my head. His hand accidentally brushed against my left boob as he was repositioning it, and that apparently was all it took to turn me into a whimpering nympho…well, in my thoughts and dreams anyway.

"I, um, was a bit restless at first, but I finally settled down about 2:00 AM. What time am I allowed to show up at your father's house without running the risk of an ass full of buckshot?" he teased.

I laughed. "Dad's already at the reservation, so he won't be home all day. They're serving dinner at 6:00 PM, so I suppose we should get there by 5:30. I don't plan to allow Alice more than two hours, so if you want to come over any time after 3:00, I should be ready," I determined.

"I'll be there no later than 3:02. I don't know about you, but I'm really in hell," he announced with a sigh.

"What's wrong?" I asked worriedly. I couldn't imagine what had him so upset.

"What's wrong? It's already Saturday, and I'm leaving Monday morning, and the only hint at privacy we've had was sitting on your father's front porch until he turned on the light for me to leave and sitting on a blanket in the middle of a field. The only option we have at the moment would be making out like teenagers in my rental car. That's not exactly to my liking, trust me," he outlined. Well, he certainly had a point there.

I decided to taunt him a little because, well, I believed that I was a few miles farther up the road to losing my virginity than he, and while I wasn't remotely close to becoming a slut, I had needs that begged to be satisfied.

"I suppose our only avenue of relief is one of the self-satisfaction variety?" I tossed out, immediately biting my lip.

I heard him moan, just as I'd hoped, and I smiled at my coup. "Without detail, I can tell you first…um…hand that it's a short-lived relief. I'm almost ready to throw myself in front of a fu…stupid train," he responded. I was a bit surprised at his admission, but it gave me hope. Maybe I wasn't _that_ much farther ahead of him on the road as I thought.

I heard the doorbell on his end, and I knew I needed to get dressed as well. "Babe, Jasper's here. I'll see you at 3:00. I love you," he informed as I heard the door open.

"Sorry, Sugar, but it's too soon in the relationship for me to know if it's really love. Hey, Swan," I heard Jasper call over the line.

"He's an ass, by the way. I'll see you later. Love you, too," I answered. We hung up, and I ran upstairs to my room to change into a denim skirt and white t-shirt. I didn't know how Alice could possibly find it offensive because it was as boring and mundane as anything I'd ever worn.

Fifteen minutes later, she breezed in without knocking. "Well, it could have been worse," she assessed as she circled me like a hungry wolf circling a dying caribou. I merely rolled my eyes.

An hour later, we were perusing dress racks in a little shop in Port Angeles. Alice pulled out a dove grey sleeveless dress with some sort of black feather trim around the bottom, holding it up to me. "Alice, what the hell _are_ those, feathers?" I asked as I shoved it away because it was actually about to make me sneeze.

"They're ostrich feathers. I think this is quite smart for you. Not for tonight, mind you, but for a dinner date or something," she deduced with one eye closed and a head tilt.

I walked away from her and over to another rack. "Alice, my last name is Swan, and you're trying to dress me in ostrich feathers? The irony wouldn't be lost on a lab rat. Now, what was all of this news you needed to share?" I asked as I pulled a dark blue sleeveless dress from the sale rack and held it up in the mirror.

"That's cute. Okay, so about tonight. Have you met the Blacks? Jacob, Jared's father, is the Chief of the Tribe. His wife, Leah, is a bit of a control freak, so don't let her back you into a corner about anything. She has this way about her of intimidating people…well, people like you…so don't play the game. Once she sees she can't get to you, she'll back off. Jacob, however, has a bit of a roving eye of which she's acutely aware, so luckily, you're going to have Edward with you so that they both understand that you're taken. You _are_ taken, aren't you?" she asked as she held a pair of silver hoops up to my ears and then tossed them back in the bin with a look of disgust on her face.

"Define taken?" I joked as I picked up a white enamel bracelet. Alice pulled it from my wrist and shook her head, tsking me the whole time.

"As in you and Edward have said the 'I love you's' and determined that you're boyfriend and girlfriend? I know the other thing hasn't happened because I can feel the frustration dripping off of you. That's going to be our second stop. I understand that there are extenuating circumstances at play, but Christ on a cracker, you two better do something before he goes to Brazil. Have you Googled that shit down there? Those women barely wear clothes to the grocery store, and every one of them is drop-dead fucking gorgeous. I'm pretty sure that Jasper's had his fair share of them, and it chaps my ass, but that's what I get for falling for a male slut. I plan to make sure that he knows that I'll be fucking every guy who comes along while he's gone, as well. I mean, turnabout's fair play," she preached.

A few things occurred to me…first, I needed to Google Brazilian women and see what the competition looked like. Second, Alice wasn't the shrinking violet that I'd once thought, and maybe she'd have a few suggestions as to how I could get Edward to the point I was with regard to anything sexual. I knew he didn't want to actually 'do the deed' before he went to Brazil, but there had to be something that could be done, right?

After we made our purchases, me buying the blue dress and a silver beaded bracelet, and Alice buying a black Lycra dress that left nothing to the imagination, she drove us to a shop that looked more than a little seedy.

"Come on," she called as she bounded out of the car enthusiastically. I wasn't exactly so enthusiastic. We went inside, and I immediately wanted to turn around and run for the nearest hill…or church or cave…whatever was closest.

Just as I was about to make a break for it, I felt a tug on my ponytail that stopped me cold, causing me to lean into the pull. "_Oh no you don't._ You need relief now, and you can't wait for the almost priest to provide it. Come on," she ordered, leading me to a display case I never thought I'd see in a million years. She pointed her bony little finger at a purple…device…and the girl pulled it out and began extolling it's benefits as I waited to explode into flames.

Five minutes later, I walked out with a black plastic bag and the worst case of full-body rosacea that anyone on the planet had ever experienced in their life. She deposited me in front of my house thirty-seven minutes later, and I got out without a word, numbly walking to my door with my purchases.

As I closed the door, the magnitude of what I was carrying in my hand hit me, and I had to sit down. It was never a position that I thought I'd find myself. Never in all of my born days had I imagined that I, Isabella Marie Swan, would be the not-so-proud owner of a vibrating, battery-operated, phallic-shaped piece of silicone that the salesgirl had promised would give me hours of endless pleasure. It was a sad state of affairs.

\\\

_**E/N: Aww…our poor virgins. Let me hear ya!**_

_**Till next time…xoxo**_


	7. Chapter 7

_**A/N: Happy Friday! Thank you for your reviews/alerts/and apparently, someone rec'd the story in the notes on theirs. I truly, honestly, appreciate any and all pimpage because it seems that I rarely hear it. If you find my stories from somewhere else, I'd love to give credit, so please let me know.**_

_**SMeyer owns all Twilight characters. No copyright infringement intended.**_

_**\\\**_

7. The Girls from Ipanema

##

BELLA

The space between my mattress and my box springs was the new home of the most embarrassing purchase I'd ever made in my life to date, along with a twenty-pack of triple-A batteries that Alice insisted I'd need. They both rested under the bottom left corner, and I planned to forget that they even existed.

I'd showered, shampooed, shaved, and Googled Brazilian beaches. It was no wonder that those women waxed off every bit of hair on their bodies, save their heads, because the bathing suits…or lack thereof… that they adorned to appear on what was listed as public beaches (and listed among the top twenty-one sexiest beaches in the world) left nothing to the imagine…literally. My green one-piece was like a snowsuit compared to what they wore for swimming…or just walking up and down the beach tempting men every step of the way.

I made a mental note to tell Edward that I truly thought the beaches in Brazil were tainted with some sort of toxic waste in hopes of keeping him from getting a gander at some of those babes, not that they limited the attire to the beach.

I almost wished that he could take his photos blindfolded. I was certain that I wouldn't be getting a sweet picture of a little boy or girl with an ice cream in the next batch of photos he sent once he got a look at the talent that freely roamed the streets of Rio.

I slipped on a pair of navy flip flops, grabbed a green cardigan that didn't look horrible with my new dress, and went downstairs, seeing it was 2:55 PM. I'd slicked on a little mascara and pink lip moisturizer, and I'd determined that I wasn't going to look any better if I'd gone through a full body makeover at MAC.

I went to the kitchen and pulled the brownies I'd made from the oven. Just as I was touching the top to test doneness, burning my index finger in the process, there was a quick knock on the door. I hurriedly made my way to it, pulling it open to see Edward standing there with his back to me. "I know that I'm early, but the lady across the street was outside writing down my license plate number on my third pass…shit," he gasped when he turned around and looked at me.

It was then that I realized I still had my stupid finger in my mouth. I pulled it out and smiled at him. "She's the block warden. Come on in. I was just pulling brownies out of the oven," I invited.

"Um, why…why was your finger in your mouth, if I might ask?" he questioned as he followed me into the kitchen.

"Oh, I burned it checking to see if the brownies were done. You seem a bit agitated. Is everything okay?" I asked as I turned off the oven and pulled a pitcher of lemonade from the refrigerator. I pulled down two glasses from the cabinet because we had time to sit for a while and talk.

After I poured a glass for him, he took a big drink and sat back in the chair, exhaling loudly. I rolled my eyes and refilled it, waiting for him to answer me.

I sat down across from him and took a sip of my own glass, waiting for him to say something. He pulled his hands through his gorgeous mane and smiled. "You look stunning, you know. I have something for you that I was going to hold on to until later, but I suddenly feel like I want to see it on you right now. Call me a cretin, but I'll just feel better if you wear it…I mean, if you like it and it goes with your dress, which is really beautiful," he babbled as he handed me a small woven pouch.

I opened the bag and found a small cardboard box inside. I pulled it out and slipped off the lid, seeing a beautiful necklace with a white, heart-shaped pendant on a silver chain. "It's whalebone. It was carved by one of the locals in Shishmaref. It reminded me of you when I saw it," he explained as I held it in my hand, taking in the beauty of it.

I felt the smooth surface of the heart, and I was completely blown away. I examined the delicate chain, and I was happy that I'd purchased the silver beaded bracelet that afternoon. "Would you put it on me?" I asked as I handed it to him and picked up my hair, standing next to him with my back to him so he could clasp it around my neck.

I felt the weight of the heart against my chest and the soft kiss of his lips against the back of my neck, sending that same familiar jolt through my body. I let go of my hair and turned to face him. "How does it look?" I asked as I situated the clasp at the back of my neck.

He smiled and traced the chain around my neck with his index finger, leaving sparks against my skin in its wake. "It looks as perfect as I hoped it would. I love you," he replied softly.

I wrapped my arms around his neck and stood on my tiptoes, kissing him squarely on the mouth in thanks for the beautiful gift. Much to my surprise, he picked me up and placed me on the counter so that we were face to face. He broke the kiss and looked into my eyes deeply.

"I had the worst damn day until I walked up onto your porch. How in the hell am I supposed to get on a plane on Monday morning and leave you behind?" he asked rhetorically. I was biting my own tongue to keep from begging him not to go.

I took a deep breath, smelling the most wonderful smell in the world which was him, and I placed both of my hands on his shoulders, forcing him to look into my eyes. "About that…a couple of things of which I was unaware and maybe you are as well. First, the beaches in Brazil are loaded with toxic waste, so you should avoid them at all costs. Second, I had a pretty brutal day myself, but when you walked in here, it all faded away. Third, you have to go because it's your path. I know it and you know it," I told him as I rubbed my thumbs along the chords of muscle in his neck.

He was quite a male specimen, my almost priest. I loved him more than I was sure that any woman had ever loved any man, but I had that the stupid old cliché of "if you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you, it was yours in the first place," playing through my head. I was pretty sure it was from some sappy movie, but it was actually true. He had to go and come back. I just prayed that he would.

He laughed. "I can assure you that the beaches in Brazil aren't loaded with toxic waste," he joked.

"Fine. You caught me. Look, those women walk around half…hell, mostly…naked on the beach. It's no wonder that a specific waxing technique has been labeled 'the Brazilian'. I'm just afraid that if you get a look at them, you won't dare come back. I know that you're not ready…for anything…but I'm afraid that if you get down there and see those women, you won't be able to resist the urge to, you know, take that next step. Hell, I saw some women on a website with who _I_ would consider taking the step. I have needs too, you know, and today I bought something that I never thought I would to try to handle those urges, and if you don't come back, it's the closest thing to a new relationship I'll ever have," I blabbered, confessing things I certainly didn't want to confess.

"Bella, I've seen beautiful women before, but none of them ever…hang on. What did you buy?" he asked. I thought it was clear as glass, but apparently, my boyfriend was just as clueless as me.

"That's not the issue. The issue is that…" I began before he kissed me to shut me up.

He pulled away from me and looked into my eyes, placing his hands gently on my shoulders. "No other woman has ever made me think about the things you make me think about. I endured the trifecta of humiliation today just to try to get a handle on how to, um, take the next step because I can tell you that I've never wanted to take it as much as I want to take it at this moment. What did you buy today?" he demanded.

I looked down toward the floor, and couldn't help but notice that he had a very prominent protrusion in a place that was unmistakably where I wanted it to be. The biggest question was how could I get it to the _other_ place I wanted it to be?

I wrapped my legs around his rear and my arms around his neck simultaneously scooting myself to the edge of the counter and pulling him flush into my body. I attached my lips to his and moved one of my hands to his ass, holding him securely against me, feeling him move just a little which surprisingly provided the friction that I was unknowingly seeking.

Incredibly, he seemed to stop thinking and moved against me as much as I moved against him while our tongues continued to tangle together in the most amazing way. I was breathless, and my body continued to spiral toward a cliff that I'd never embarked upon in my life. He broke the kiss, but his lips found a place on my neck which felt equally as unbelievably magnificent.

"_Gah_, Bella, oh God," he gasped as I felt his teeth nip at my neck. I was right there with him, letting go of every inhibition inside of me except for the dirty dialogue running through my head. All I allowed to escape was "_Aaaahh_" as I felt myself shatter in his arms.

I was a panting mess, grateful for the central air that my father had only put in about three years prior. It was a warm day, and if I'd have had to rely on a window unit or an oscillating fan, I'd have truly been a sweating, panting mess. I was a panting mess, but I had the comfort of knowing that the man in my arms was panting as well, and I was pretty certain that he was more of a mess than I in that moment.

"Holy Billy Hell," he whispered as he pulled back and looked into my eyes. The somewhat glazed-over look was a surprise, but the smile told me everything I needed to know. We'd taken half a step toward the next step, and neither of us had any regrets.

After I took a minute to take care of things in the bathroom, we quickly drove to his parents' house, because he needed to do the same. He didn't let go of my hand the whole time, and he rejected my suggestion that I wait in the car while he went inside, barely addressing the reason he needed to drop by his parents' house. "I'm actually going to need you to come in and divert my parents' attention so that when I go up to my room and change my clothes, they won't think anything of it. After the day I've had, the last thing I want to do is explain that I dry humped my girlfriend in her father's kitchen and had to come home and change," he demanded.

The entire string of sentences that escaped his mouth only served to set off my giggle reflex. I started laughing, and I couldn't stop. It was a situation that I never, ever thought I'd be in, but damn, if it wasn't funny.

"I truly fail to see the humor in this particular situation," he snapped as he pulled me out of the passenger side of the Taurus.

"Honey, surely you can see that this predicament in which you find yourself right now is one that you never expected to deal with in your whole life," I chided.

As we walked toward the house, he stopped and turned to look at me with a huge smile. "You've made a very good point here, and I'm not going to be unhappy about it, even if I feel a little sticky. I don't suppose you'd want to come up and give me a sponge bath," he joked.

Without missing a beat, I responded, "If I thought your heart could take it, I'd come up and give you a full bath, sponge, loofah, and bubbles. Hell, I might even climb in with you," I teased right back.

He advanced on me and kissed me hard on the mouth. "You really are trying to kill me. Come on and face the music. I hope they don't force on you what they forced on me," he responded as we went inside. He shoved me toward the kitchen where his mother was cooking dinner and he yelled, "Mom, Bella's here," before he ran upstairs.

Esme Cullen, in all of her beautiful glory, turned toward me and smiled a smile that, quite frankly, scared the crap out of me. "Bella, honey, how are you? I got you're note, and I'd love to meet for lunch," she remarked as she hugged me.

"Um, thank you," I responded quite surprised by her actions.

She turned back to the stove and flipped what appeared to be pork tenderloin that was searing in a skillet, placing it in the oven and then turning her full attention to me. "I don't know what he told you, but we only meant the best, Bella. It was an extreme measure, but I know that it was what he needed. I didn't set out to embarrass him, but sometimes a mother has to step in. You'll understand it someday…I hope," she delivered as she pulled a pie crust out of the upper oven.

I had no flipping idea to what she was referring, so I diverted the conversation toward pastry. "What kind of pie are you making? Edward mentioned that he could actually bake," I volunteered. Oh, I'd quiz him regarding what his mother had said, but I needed to hear it from him and not her.

She chuckled. "He's actually quite an accomplished cook. I started him out young with helping me bake cookies. Rosalie has never had any desire to learn to cook. Her husband, Emmett, does all of the cooking, but Edward is a fantastic cook. He makes a better pie crust than me because we differ on the ratio of butter and shortening. I just can't admit that his crust is flakier than mine. I'm actually making a coconut crème pie for dinner. Carlisle and I have friends coming over. You kids are welcome to stay if you'd like," she invited with a light in her eyes.

I had to head her off immediately. "Actually, we're going to a party at the reservation to meet the families of my students. I'm just happy that Edward is home to go with me. He's such an extraordinary man," I remarked as I heard the shower shut off upstairs and chuckled to myself.

"He is, but then again, you're a remarkable young woman to take on all of him. I know my son has a lot to sort out, but the fact that he has you at his side to help him is more than I ever thought he'd have. I blame myself for a lot of the mess, trust me with good cause. I'm just glad that he came to his senses when he did and he found you. I know that he loves you. Please tell me that you return some of his feelings," she pleaded as she turned to look at me with the eyes of a mother who loved her son very much. It was completely overwhelming.

"Mrs. Cullen, I love your son very much. I support him in everything he needs to do, and I'll wait for him to come back until he lets me know he doesn't want me to wait any longer, if indeed his journey leads him back here. I didn't set out to walk this path with him, but I feel compelled to see it through, and I pray every night that when it's over, he'll come home to me," I answered with tears in my eyes feeling all of my worries on my shoulders.

She walked over to where I sat and leaned down, placing her hands on my shoulders. "Doors and windows. I believe you told him that, and I believe he's figuring it out. I have a mother's intuition about this sort of thing, you know," she replied softly with her own tears. I hugged her because it really seemed appropriate.

Just as we broke apart, Edward came bustling down the stairs, duffel in his hand and a harried look about him. "Um, Mom, where's Dad?" he asked as he dropped it on the floor and walked into the kitchen. I didn't like it at all, and I felt the dread in the pit of my stomach over the whole thing.

"At the hospital, why?' she asked nervously. I supposed she felt it as well.

"Jasper just called. We're scrapping Brazil and getting a red-eye to DC. We're leaving day after tomorrow for the Middle East. There's a coup afoot apparently, and the magazine wants us both on the ground to cover it. I'll be fine, it's just that I don't know when I'll be able to call or e-mail. It's a break for me, Mom, so don't freak out. I need to know that my girls are okay with this," he explained looking between the two sobbing women in the room. If he was looking for us to be stoic, he was looking up the wrong skirts.

We went to the party for a couple of hours and then Edward and Jasper left. Alice and I both cried as we threatened that they'd better return to us safely.

I met the Black family, and Jacob was the flirt Alice alluded to and his wife was the hard ass, but that night nothing could penetrate my solemn mood. I caught a ride home with Alice, both of us not speaking but I knew what we were both thinking…would they come back to us?

The rest of September and October were bleak for me. Edward was covering a flood in Cambodia in early October, sending me photos of the destruction, and then there was a prisoner swap between the Israelis and the Palestinians in the middle of October. The only way I knew he was covering it was because of quick e-mails alluding to the fact. They were apparently waiting for whatever had sent them there in the first place, and they were filling their time covering other stories. Each e-mail from him told me that he was getting more and more swept up in the excitement, dashing my hopes that he'd ever be satisfied living a quiet life in Forks ever again.

On October 20, the lead story on the nightly news was that the Libyan leader had been killed in a province or town called Sirte and that some faction had taken control of the city effectively ending the war. I didn't hear anything from Edward, and I was beside myself, as was Alice because she hadn't heard from Jasper either.

Late October brought word, though quick word, that they were in Turkey to cover the earthquake. He didn't ask me how I was or mention that he'd missed me, and it was simply signed "E." I felt like I'd lost him, and I couldn't imagine how it had happened, but I knew that he was embracing the same sense of adventure that Jasper carried in his heart, and I was sure that he'd never come home and settle down again. I was also certain that somewhere along the way, he'd succumbed to some woman's allure, and I told myself that he probably had no desire to come back to me and my non-existent sexual techniques.

It was a harsh reality to face, but after Alice had a rather upsetting phone call with Jasper at the end of October, she and I both determined that we were turning over a new leaf. We weren't going to pine away for two men who were never going to settle down and come back to us. It was a painful realization, but it was one we had to accept if we were ever going to survive. Based on what Jasper told her, they had absolutely no plans to come home any time soon. He told her that they didn't want us to wait for them, and that they'd both "had a good time" with us. I was pretty sure that Jasper and Alice had a lot better time than I'd had with Edward. If that was his way of telling me not to wait for him, however cowardly it was in my opinion, then I'd do as I'd told his mother…I waited for him until he told me not to. I was done sitting around waiting for a man who was never coming back. It was the final nail in my coffin.

##

EDWARD

"Well, I'm fucking done. It's been an amazing experience, but I can't stay away any longer. I love Bella, and I can't keep doing this," I slurred out in a bar in the Philippines. We were there covering the havoc that Tropical Storm Washi had caused, and as I sat there sipping on a beer, having had too many shots of what equated to Philippine moonshine, I knew I was done in more ways than one.

It was December, and I was supposed to end my quest before Thanksgiving. Each natural disaster or governmental coup kept us on the move, and the rush I'd gotten from each story had kept me engaged for a while, but I was finished with it, ready to head home and set up a little photography studio in Forks. I'd sent Bella e-mails that had failed, and when I'd been able to call, I found that the number was disconnected. My parents and I traded voicemails, but there was never any mention of Bella. I needed to get home and figure out what the hell had happened.

"The last time I talked to Alice, she told me to go fuck myself. I told her that we didn't plan to come home anytime soon so they might as well move on. She also told me that she and Bella planned to rent a house together. She said that Bella wouldn't want to hear from either of us. Sorry, Padre," he informed as we sat there together.

"You fucking prick! When did you talk to her?" I yelled at him. We weren't exactly getting along so well because every time I told him I was going home, he pulled out the contract that I'd signed with the magazine and waved it in front of my face to remind me of the commitment I'd made to him and the magazine. That shit really pissed me off.

"After Halloween, I guess. Look, we're better off without 'em. They just wanted to tie us down, and we're not _those_ guys. We're cut out to be out here covering what's going on, not sitting at home while they cross stitch banalities on throw pillows. If you really think about it, I did you a big favor, Padre. Your problem is that you just need to get laid. That girl over there has been staring at you for an hour," Jasper slurred.

I turned to look over my shoulder and saw a bleach blonde woman who was smiling at me. I'd held out on the whole sex thing, and I'd be damned if my first time was going to be with a professional, which I could clearly see was the vocation of the woman to whom he was referring.

"Yeah, well you enjoy yourself. I'm leaving tomorrow, contract or no contract. I left the best thing that ever happened to me to chase a fucking dream, and I realize that the dream was sitting in Forks waiting for me to come to my senses. I give two shits less about that contract any longer, so let them sue me for breach. If you ever get to Washington State again, look me up. I'll be taking pictures of families for their Christmas cards," I called as I tossed money on the table and stumbled off.

It took me three connecting flights and twenty hours to get from the Philippines to Heathrow where I could finally call my parents. It was 5:00 AM where I was, and I knew it wasn't too late in Washington, but I didn't care. I hadn't spoken to Bella in too long, and it was my fault.

"Hello," I heard my father answer. There was Christmas music in the background, and I heard a lot of chatter.

"Dad? It's me," I responded. Suddenly, it was quiet in the background, for which I was thankful.

"Edward? Where are you?" he asked.

"I'm in London. I'm at Heathrow, and I'm on my way home. Look, I'm sorry I've been out of touch, but that's not anything new for us. I'll be in sometime tomorrow. Can I get a ride from Sea-Tac?" I asked, not quizzing him on what I really wanted to know.

"Um, yeah, sure. Em and Rose are here for Christmas, and I'm sure that someone can come get you. Are you okay?" he responded.

I didn't want questions, I wanted answers. "I'm fine. Um, how's…how's Bella?" I asked weakly.

"She's fine. She's here with Sam, and Alice is here with Embry. Son, she's moved on. I don't think I need to tell you what it's been like for her. Your mother kept up with her, and well, it wasn't great. You just disappeared and didn't stay in touch too much, and then when Jasper told Alice that you weren't coming home and that she should just move on, well, what was she supposed to do? She was certain that you'd met other women, so she started seeing someone else. Sam's a nice guy, and they seem to hit it off," he informed as my heart broke. I knew it was my fault because I was an ass but hearing it tore me apart. It was also a very good thing that Jasper Whitlock was nowhere around because I would have pummeled his ass right there at the ticket counter.

"Look, it's all a misunderstanding between Jasper and Alice. I can't explain it over the phone, but I never told him to say any of those things. It can't be serious with that guy, right? I mean, I wasn't gone_ that_ long," I gritted.

"Edward, its December. You left the third week of September, and you didn't bother to stay in touch with her very much. Then, when she and Alice did hear from one of you, it was Jasper, and he said that the two of you didn't want them to wait for you to come back. Did you seriously think she'd sit home and wait for you forever after what Jasper said?

"Bella's been seeing Sam for a month. He seems to be good to her. He's a stable guy, and she doesn't have to worry about him taking off again when the next tragedy strikes somewhere on the planet. I'm sorry, son, but I think you let an opportunity slip through your fingers," he responded.

"I know I messed it up, but I'm prepared…" I replied as I heard a commotion over the phone.

"Oh crap. I've gotta go. Get your ass on the next available flight and get back here and make this right before you can't fix it anymore. I've gotta try to stop this before it's too late," he answered as the phone went dead.

I bought a first-class ticket on the next non-stop flight, texting my information to my father. When the plane finally landed at Sea-Tac and I cleared customs, I walked out of security to find my sister waiting for me with her hand on her hip in a very pissed off manner that I'd learned to dread over the years.

"If stupidity is a sin, you need to get yourself to the first church we find on the way back to Forks," Rose stated as she hugged me before we went to baggage claim.

"What happened?" I pleaded as I waited for my suitcase. She laughed and shook her head in disbelief of what I assumed was my stupidity.

"Teddy, I'd like to give you a pass on this because it's all new to you, but I swear to God, even a five-year old would know that you don't run off and leave a girl like Bella Swan without staying in touch. What the fuck, exactly, were you thinking? Then, you let that idiot you were traveling with break-up with her for you? Dear God," she scolded as we watched the bags roll down the ramp.

"She told me she loved me, and she'd wait for me. I believed it. I never told Jasper to speak for me, Rosalie. She should have known better than that. Apparently, I'm an idiot because she moved on," I reminded.

"_Oh, no you don't_. You're not going to lay this off on her. She waited for you, you ass. She waited for a phone call or an e-mail, and every time she got any news from you, which wasn't very often, she went to Mom and shared it with her. She was like a mistreated puppy, hanging on every little crumb that you sent, you bastard. She loves you, and you just tossed it out the window. I hate to say this, but I'm actually ashamed of you on this one. If you ever loved her, you'd have made more time for her, you selfish little bastard. You wouldn't plant a garden and not tend it, would you?" she scolded. _That_ comment was straight from my mother, but she was right, and I was defensive because I knew I'd screwed the whole thing up.

"I was trying to…" I began.

My sister slapped me on the back of the head as I'd seen her do with her husband many times before. "Nope. You're not allowed to play that fucking 'trying to find myself' bullshit card any longer. You took a wonderful young woman and made her believe that you loved her, and then you just up and left her to wonder what she did wrong. She blames herself for this, you know? That asshole, Sam, proposed last night at the party. She fell apart and ran out of the house, leaving him on one knee in the living room with all of the family looking at him. Tell me, exactly, when you into a dick just like the rest of the men on the planet. As for Whitlock, I'm going to kick his ass if I ever get close enough to him," she continued.

God, it couldn't be happening like that. Another man had proposed to her which meant that he'd held her the way I'd held her and probably stepped up to the plate on other things that I couldn't? It was awful, and I was a damn fool. I had the best thing in the world in my arms, and I left her and screwed it up completely.

I fell asleep on the ride back home because I hadn't slept in days. Rosalie actually punched me in the head when we got home, and I grabbed my bags from the car and dragged myself into the house and up to my room.

I fell asleep, only to be awakened by a nightmare of my own making. I was at a wedding watching Bella walk down the aisle with someone else, and I couldn't stop it. It was the worst thing in the whole world that I'd ever witnessed, and I'd seen some horrible things, but seeing my life…or what I wanted my life to be…walk away from me with someone else was too much.

No two ways about it, I had to fix it. Yeah, that was the easy thing to say. "Fix it" was an understatement. I had to see her, and I was sure that I was the last person she wanted to see on the planet but I was going to find her and try. She was the only woman I could see a future with and without her, there was no future for me.

##

Esme Elizabeth Cullen nee Platte was a remarkable woman. To her friends, she was a support system. If you needed a pot roast or a pie or a cup of coffee and a shoulder, she was the person you called.

To a complete stranger in need on a street corner, she was a lunch companion and a pep talk.

To Charlie Swan, she was a friend who saw the fire hydrant outside of the bakery as her own private parking spot, and when he stood next to her car and wrote the ticket, it was the chance to catch up with him that she always enjoyed.

When it came to family, my mother was an unstoppable force. She supported Rosalie and me with every fiber in her being once she got on board with our decisions which weren't always the ones she'd hope we'd make. She was a loving, giving soul.

She was also a hellcat.

I had finally, finally, fallen asleep at 6:00 AM after thinking about everything of which my sister had informed before we got back to Forks. I could barely remember climbing into my comfortable bed with nice sheets that didn't make me feel like I was sleeping on fiberglass insulation for the first time in a long time.

When I felt the flicking on my forehead the next morning, it wasn't exactly appreciated. My eyes popped open to see a rabid hyena smiling at me from the side of the bed. "Well, I hope you've come to your senses. What you put that girl through…I can't even begin," my mother informed as she rose from the bed and picked up my dirty clothes that I'd shed in pursuit of the comfortable bed.

"Mom, it's nice to see you, _too_," I answered as I rubbed my eyes and glanced at the clock seeing it was just 8:00 AM. Two hours of sleep wasn't going to really be much help considering the jetlag I was going to fight.

"Nice to see me? Are you kidding me with this? When did you become the comedian in the family? I thought Emmett had the corner on that. I could really give you a good pounding right now, but I'm happy to see you home in one piece. You let the best thing in the whole entire world get away, you know? She's engaged now," Mom informed.

I shot up and looked at her. "Rose told me she left and didn't answer. She's not engaged. You're not going to fool me with that," I responded cockily. Well, maybe I wasn't exactly cocky but I was trying to be.

"Bella and Sam left before the final act. Apparently, Sam, who is a nice young man and quite handsome by the way, went to her house and after a good long talk, they're engaged. Her mother is coming up for Christmas so that they can plan the wedding. Oh, and Charlie really likes him. They fish together," Mom informed as she left my room.

_No. No. No. No_. That wasn't going to happen. I'd screwed up by letting my pursuit of a career get in the way of my common sense, but I was hers and she was mine. I didn't know how I'd make her see it or change her mind, but I was bound and determined to do it. I just needed a plan.

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_**E/N: Oh, my….Don't shoot me…**_

_**Till Tuesday…xoxo**_


	8. Chapter 8

_**A/N: Okay…okay…I know you're not happy at all. I rarely succumb to peer pressure on things like this, but when some of my favorite reviewers are threatening to take a powder, I can't hold you hostage on this until Tuesday. So, thank you for the reviews, though you all are really not happy with me, but thanks for not being mean.**_

_**Let's get to it, and I'll meet you at the bottom.**_

_**SMeyer owns all Twilight characters. I'm sure she'd be pissed at me about this stage of the story as well, but I'd never infringe.**_

_**WARNING: Like I need to give you another reason to be mad right now, but this chapter contains descriptions of violence (not really graphic), and might be difficult for some. If it's difficult for you to read such things, leave me a review, and I'll send you a summary of the chapter, as long as you don't have your PMs turned off.**_

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8. The Comeback Kid

EDWARD

##

"I only let you in here because I believe that she's with the wrong guy. I think you're a complete donkey dick, but she can't be with Sam. He's controlling, and he's already demanding that she quit her job at the school because he doesn't want his wife to work. He's a fucking mechanic, and he doesn't want his wife to work. Shame on you for leaving her like that, you asshole, and shame on Jasper for that fucking cowardly phone call to break up with me and drag you along for the ride," Alice ranted as I waited with my coffee at their kitchen table.

She was right on every count, but I didn't like what I was hearing. I'd take her vitriol regarding my part in it because it was well deserved, but what she was telling me was that Bella wasn't with the right guy, not that I needed anyone to tell me _that_ fact. I was the right guy, even though I'd been a fool about it, but I was the right guy, and I had to make her see it again. I didn't know how but I knew I had to make her see it. As much as I'd have loved to blame it all on Jasper's comments to Alice, it really was my fault for not using my God-given intelligence to figure out that something had happened when I couldn't get her on the phone or when my e-mails were returned undeliverable. I should have packed my shit and left right then.

"I know. I'm an asshole. What can I do?" I asked begging for her help.

"I'd like to have a quick answer for you, but I honestly believe that she's afraid she'll end up alone. She doesn't do casual dating, as I'm sure you know, but Charlie's getting serious with the woman from the diner, and Bella's worried that she'll be alone. I blame you for a lot of that, FYI. You can't even to begin to know what she went through when you didn't come back after the coupe. Your e-mails became less and less personal, and eventually, you didn't even tell her you loved her anymore. She was worried that you'd changed your mind about her, and after Jasper's…well, you know the rest.

"That's how the hell he got in there in the first place. Charlie took advantage of the fact that she was heartbroken, and he shoved Sam onto her. Well, not _literally_ as far as I know. She won't let him stay over, and she won't stay at his house, so I think he just sees her as a challenge. You didn't…um…you know?" she asked as she wiggled her eyebrows.

"No. I didn't. She's the only one for me, and I can't even imagine being with another woman, so no, I haven't. Is he at all good to her?" I asked.

"Mother of God, pull your head out of your ass and listen to me. He _forbids_ her to do things, and she lets him. She's not allowed to go out for dinner with me, and I'm her fucking roommate. Embry says he's just insecure. I say he's a jackoff who doesn't deserve her, but I'm not sure that you deserve her either," she answers.

"Alice, I can guarantee you I'll never deserve her, but I love her and I want to marry her. I'm so flipping clueless of what to do, I'm here allowing you to berate me without argument. I'm a piece of crap, okay? I get it. I love her with everything inside of me, and I messed up. What should I do?" I begged.

She seemed to listen to me for a minute and take in what I said. She leaned over the table and looked into my eyes with a sincerity that took me aback. "I'm going to tell you something that I haven't told anyone, and when I tried to talk to her about it, she went off on me and didn't speak to me for almost a week.

"I heard shouting from her room one night a couple of weeks ago, and the next morning I noticed that she was moving a little slow. I asked her about it, and she told me to mind my own damn business, which was fine, but I noticed bruises on her arms that weren't there the day before. Sam slept on the couch that night and left before I got up, but she was freaked out. I really don't think he's good to her, Edward," Alice whispered.

I got up from the table and kicked my chair, pulling my hands through my too long hair. I laced my fingers on top of my head and turned on her. "What are you telling me, Alice? Did he hurt her? Are you telling me he hurt her?" I gritted as I stood there looking at her, trying to absorb her accusation.

"I don't know. I'm telling you what I saw. Look, your absence created a broken woman, okay? He was the first guy who came along after you dropped off the radar by your own choice, and he showed an interest in her. _You. Left. Her_. She had no idea what to make of the fact that she never heard from you, or didn't hear from you very much, and she let her imagination lead her down a path where you were fucking a different woman every night and you were never going to be satisfied with her after all the foreign pussy you got. When I told her that you guys didn't plan to come back anytime soon, that was the straw that broke the camel's back," Alice reminded.

What in the name of heaven had I done? I'd left her to the likes of a guy who mistreated her so that I had the opportunity to take some pictures? Was I absolutely fucking crazy? Apparently, I was.

##

BELLA

Probably one of the most underrated fears on the face of the earth is the fear of being alone. The fear of death wasn't as big a deal to me as the fact that I might die _alone_. My dad had someone. My mom had someone. I had no one…well, I'd _had_ someone, but he left me to pursue his dreams and likely, some very beautiful women along the way, and while I couldn't fault him for it, I couldn't understand why he didn't just come clean about it to me. I couldn't understand why he allowed someone else to do the dirty work.

Weakness was another awful emotion to experience, and I was the first to admit that I was weak. I was so weak that I'd allowed myself to trump up feelings for someone that weren't real, and God, they were probably going to end up contributing to my ultimate demise.

"Look, Sam, I don't understand why I have to quit my job. I mean, the shop is just getting off the ground, and we're going to need both incomes to pay the bills until it picks up. I get summers off, and I'd go to work after you and get home before you, so you won't even know I'm gone," I reasoned. Sad thing was…there was no reasoning with him.

How in the hell had I allowed myself to get engaged to a guy I'd only been seeing for a little over a month? Dad loved him, and in the beginning, he really was a sweet guy. Dad's truck had quit me at school one day, and he came over to fix it. After that, he stopped by every day after school to make sure I didn't have any problems, and he was very sweet to me, which was what I needed as I nursed the hole in my chest where my heart had been. Everything was nice and sweet until he overheard Alice talking to me about Edward one evening. After that, he became a raving lunatic.

That night, he badgered me about Edward until I told him about the relationship, and when I told him that I was probably still in love with Edward, he actually tried to force himself on me. I kicked him in the balls, but he refused to let go of me. The only thing that stopped him was that I was crying so hard that I actually threw up on my bedroom floor. That snapped him out of the blind rage he was in, and he grabbed a blanket and slept on the couch.

I was so damn embarrassed about the situation I'd let myself get stuck in that when Alice asked me about hearing us fighting, I told her off, and we didn't speak for a week. I was stuck with wearing long sleeved shirts and turtlenecks because of the bruising he'd inflicted, but the physical bruising wasn't the thing that hurt the most. I was missing a heart because it was wherever Edward was, and the man who I'd foolishly agreed to marry out of fear was demanding things of me that I wasn't prepared to give.

Why I just didn't tell my dad or Alice about Sam's obvious anger issues, I didn't really know. Maybe I thought I deserved it. I couldn't even think straight any longer.

"I told you, we'll be starting a family right away, and you'll be staying home and taking care of our children. You can work until the baby comes, but you _will_ get pregnant on our wedding night. If you insist on waiting for our wedding night to have sex, then you'd better be prepared to make it up to me afterward. Now, I'll be over to pick you up after work. We're going to my parents' house for a little party to celebrate our engagement, so be ready. You know I hate to wait for you," he snapped as he pulled off the head gasket of a car on which he was working.

I went to Dad's old truck and climbed in, fighting the tears. School was out for the holidays. I was buying time with Sam to try to figure out how to get out of the engagement, and I had a feeling I was at the end of my rope. I had the distinct impression that if I married him, I wasn't going to lead the type of life that I'd hoped to lead with Edward. The bad part was that I was more afraid to try to get away from him than to stay at that moment, so I held my tongue and prayed for a way out.

I pulled down our street and saw Esme's car in our driveway. I really didn't want to deal with her, so I continued my drive to my dad's house. If he wasn't there, I'd just watch television and wait out Esme. I was pretty sure that she'd have to get home to fix dinner for her family since Emmett and Rosalie were in town for Christmas.

I pulled in Dad's driveway, not seeing his cruiser or Lorraine's Honda, so I let myself into the house and went to the living room to turn on the television hoping to find a Christmas movie in which to lose myself for a while. I dialed the channels until I hit on something that looked more promising than anything else, and I slipped off my shoes and pulled my feet up under me.

Somewhere along the way, I must have dozed off because I heard pounding at the front door and someone shouting my name. I jumped up and went to the door to open it, having accidentally locked it when I'd come in earlier. I knew the shouting, and I wasn't happy about it because my dad was due home soon, and I didn't want him to walk in on what I was sure was waiting for me on the other side of that door.

I pulled it opened and forced a smile onto my face. "I'm sorry that I wasn't at home. I actually fell asleep," I explained. Sam stalked in and slammed the door, looking quite pissed off. He was still dressed in his dirty clothes from the garage, so apparently he hadn't been to his house yet. He had an absolutely murderous look on his face, and I wondered how I could talk my way out of what I felt was coming.

"Embry called me. You're little _boyfriend_ is back in town. He's sitting at your house right now, waiting for you to come home. Be glad your ass is here instead of there. Come on, we're going over there, and you're going to tell him to get the fuck out and stay away from you. We're moving up the wedding date, too. I talked to my mom, and we're going to do it on New Year's Eve at her place. That son-of-a-bitch isn't going to stop this, Bella," he hissed as he grabbed me by the arm and shoved me into the living room to get my shoes.

"Sam, I swear, I had no idea he was back. I haven't heard from him in a very long time, and you know that," I pleaded as the tears poured down my face.

"Not the fucking tears again. Get your shit, and let's go before I do something right here in Daddy's house that you're not gonna like. I can't believe this. How I let Charlie talk me into this, I don't know. Money for the shop isn't worth all the bullshit I have to deal with from you. _Get your shit, now_," he shouted at the top of his lungs.

I slipped my feet into my shoes, and as I was about to grab my purse from the end of the couch, I heard a click coming from the doorway of the living room. I turned to see my father standing there with a homicidal look on his face, gun drawn and cocked.

"You know, I wondered about this shit for a bit of time now. Bella's always been shy, but she'd actually come out of it a little. Now, though, when she's around you, she's like a scared little mouse, which isn't her at all. You think you can just slap my daughter around? Let's see what you do with somebody closer to your own size," my father threatened.

"Put the gun away, Charlie. This doesn't concern you," Sam ordered as he stood next to me with his hands up in the air as if in surrender. I knew he'd never surrender to anyone, and I didn't really want to see my father shoot him in his own house, but just as I was about to intercede, I heard footsteps in the hallway.

"Yes, Charlie, put the gun away. It wouldn't do for you to shoot someone in your home. I'll take the trash out for you," I heard from the hallway. I knew the voice, and it was like music to my ears.

He stepped into the doorway, and he looked perfect. He was different but the same. His hair was longer, and he had a bit of stubble on his jaw. He looked like he'd bulked up a bit but he certainly wasn't fat. When I looked into his eyes as he looked at me, I saw the kindness I'd seen when I met him that first day on the plane. That was _my_ Edward.

"Who the fuck are _you_?" Sam snapped. My dad laughed a little and, thankfully, uncocked the gun, putting it back into his holster. He held his hand out for Edward and stepped aside, allowing him to walk into the room and right up to where Sam was standing next to me. Edward's eyes were glued to Sam, and he looked extremely pissed off.

"Bella, love, step over by your father," Edward ordered. Just as I was about to slip around the couch, Sam grabbed my arm and pulled me into his chest, squeezing my biceps too tightly.

"She's not going anywhere. She's going to marry me, not you. _You_ left _her_, remember asshole?" Sam barked.

"Trust me, I know. Now, quit hiding behind her and come outside so that we can settle this. She's not going to marry you because as shitty of a person as I am, I deserve her a hell of a lot more than you do. I'd never lift a hand to her, which apparently isn't something you espouse. I'm willing to fight for her. _Are you_?" Edward asked with a cold, steely look on his face that I'd never seen before. It didn't really have a place there, and I truly wondered how much he'd changed since he'd been gone.

Sam shoved me aside, causing me to fall over the recliner, and before either I or my father knew what was happening, Edward had him by the throat and was dragging him outside. Once he got him out there, he proceeded to beat the living hell out of him. "Daddy, stop this," I begged as we stood on the front porch.

"In a minute. Why in the hell didn't you tell me that he was using you as a punching bag?" Dad asked.

"He didn't…Dad, stop this before Edward kills him," I ordered as I started down the stairs. Dad grabbed my arm and pulled me back, pulling his gun out and firing one shot into the air which caused both of the men rolling around on our yard to stop dead still.

"Enough. Uley, get in that piece of shit you drive and get out of here. I see you anywhere around my daughter, and the next time you hear this gun cock, you won't hear it uncock, you got me? If I find one mark on my daughter, your ass is mine," Dad ordered.

Edward got off of him, wiping blood from his lip, and Sam scrambled to his feet. "I wouldn't touch that little tease if she was the last woman on earth. The money isn't worth dealing with her and her bullshit. Good riddance and I want my ring back," Sam yelled. I took it off and tossed it at him, seeing it land at his feet.

He picked it up and put it in his pocket. He looked at Edward as he wiped blood from his nose onto his greasy jeans and snapped, "You and me, we're not done."

"Anytime you wanna dance, you come find me, you gutless jackoff," Edward responded as he turned to walk back up to where Dad and I were standing.

We watched Sam get into his car and leave, which caused me to let out a held breath. I heard my father walk into the house and shut the door, and I turned my attention to the man standing next to me with the busted lip.

"What are you doing here?" I asked. I didn't know how to feel. I was grateful to see him, but I was so pissed off that I wanted to beat the shit out of _him._

"I'm here for you. I know I've fucked this up but good but I'm done doing that. I'm done traveling, and I'm done leaving you. I'll never leave you again as long as I live. If you can't forgive me, then I'll just maintain the fifty-feet distance that I'm sure the restraining order will mandate. I love you. I've never stopped loving you. I've made a mess of it, but I'm here to make amends. I'm sure I'm going to be jumping through hoops like a circus poodle, but I'll do it. I'll do whatever it takes, Bella," he answered. I could see that his knuckles were bloody and his hands were starting to swell.

"Come inside and let's get some ice on those," I ordered as I turned to walk up the stairs without waiting for him.

An hour later, we were sitting at the kitchen table in my father's home as my father grilled me about why I didn't tell him what was actually going on with Sam. "Look, you thought he was a great guy, and in the beginning he was, but he changed and became much more aggressive. I just thought that he'd snap out of it," I defended myself.

"Bells, guys like that don't change, honey. He lied to both of us, and when he asked me if I'd be willing to partner with him on the shop, I stupidly agreed, which apparently was the reason he was pushing all of this in the first place," Dad complained.

That didn't exactly make me feel good about myself. First, Edward left me, and then Sam was only with me for the money that Dad was going to give him for his shop? What the hell did that say about me? I guessed I really wasn't worth the affections of a man. It was going to be a long, bitter, lonely life.

"Stop…stop it right now. I can almost see the words circling your head like a dialogue balloon in the funny pages. I never stopped loving you, and even though I went away, in my mind, I didn't leave you. I let my excitement for the job I was doing cloud my judgment, but I still love you, Bella. Nothing has changed for me except that I have a lot to make up to you. If you want to beat the crap out of me to get rid of some of the hate and anger I'm sure you feel for me, let's go outside and do it now. I already feel like shit," Edward suggested. He walked to the fridge and grabbed three beers out, handing one to me, one to Dad, and keeping one for himself.

"Hey, imagine how I feel? I was right here and missed all of the signs of it, and I'm supposed to be a trained professional," Dad commented from his place at the table as he opened his beer and took a sip.

"How'd you find out any of this?" I asked as I took a sip from my beer.

"Edward came into the station and told me what Alice suspected. I didn't buy it at first, but then after I started thinking about it, there were a lot more red flags than I wanted to admit. When I heard the son-of-a-bitch talking to you like that, I knew Alice was right, and I was a damned fool. I'm sorry, honey, that I've been so caught up in my own life that I didn't see it. You might as well call your mom and tell her not to come because there's not going to be a wedding," Dad reminded.

That was one phone call I was dreading. She'd been happy when I told her that I was engaged. She didn't know anything about what had gone on when Edward left, and Dad didn't know much about it either, but Alice did because she had to deal with me and my endless river of tears and self-castigation. Knowing how much she hated Edward because of what I was going through, she must have been very worried about me if she confided in him what she thought was going on. In the back of my mind, I truly believed that she might have very well saved my life. I owed her big time for that, and I knew exactly how I was going to pay her back.

"Where's Whitlock?" I asked Edward, seeing him cringe. He was watching every move I made, and I was a little uncomfortable under his close scrutiny.

"I left him drunk in a bar in The Philippines. For the record, he had no right speaking for me," Edward volunteered as he reached into his pocket and handed me his cell phone.

"For the record, I didn't believe it until I didn't hear anything different from you before I changed my number and e-mail in the middle of November," I snapped, remembering how pissed off and hurt I was because of not hearing from him on a regular basis. I didn't change my contact information until after I met Sam and hadn't heard anything from Edward at all.

"We'll get to that. Just call the idiot," he ordered. I scrolled through the contacts list until I found Jasper's number, and I hit the call button. Of course, it went to voicemail.

"_This is Whitlock. You know what to do."_ I cleared my throat as I waited for the beep. When I heard it, I unloaded on him. "You stupid, arrogant jackoff. Get your ass back to Washington and fix shit with Alice. You and I both know that you have feelings for her. You're just as chicken shit about it as Cullen. Well, he dragged his sorry ass back here, so I'm expecting to see you before Christmas," I barked into the phone. I pressed the end button and slid it across the table toward Edward.

"I'm going home. I'm tired, and this has been a lot to take in. Dad, I know that I owe you a better explanation, but can we put it off for another day? Cullen, glad you're not dead," I stated. I got up from the table, grabbed my purse, and left, driving home and hoping I had nothing to worry about with regard to Sam showing up uninvited.

What I didn't anticipate was Edward pulling into my driveway nearly right behind me. He hopped out of Esme's car that he was driving and was opening my car door before I even had a chance to unfasten my seatbelt. "Bella, I know you're mad at me, but you've got to hear my side of things before you just toss us aside," he pleaded as he blocked me from exiting the car.

"I'm not interested in your explanations, okay? Yes, you called me every once in a while when you thought about me, and yes, I finally decided that you and I were likely through because of what Jasper told Alice and then not hearing from you, so I accepted the fact that you just weren't coming back. I know you've found something and likely a lot of _someone's _that you're passionate about, and I'm glad for you, really. Everyone should be passionate about something. My mistake was thinking you were passionate about _me_ enough to at least want to come back and see me sometime. Obviously, our relationship meant more to me than it did to you, so don't sweat it. I'm a big girl, and I'll be fine," I announced to him as I pushed him aside and got out of my car, ready for the conversation to be finished.

I was so exhausted from the events of the day, and all I wanted to do was go inside, take a shower, and go to bed. Since he was following me to the stairs, I assumed that wouldn't be the way my evening was going to go. For a hot minute, I wished to hell I could fight like him because maybe if I gave him a good pounding, I could get it all out of my system and just get over it.

"Bella, I thought about you every day and every night. Yes, I should have called you more often, but sometimes in the places we were, that just wasn't an option. Hell, the news media all had satellite phones and they damn sure weren't going to let me use one to call my girlfriend," he snapped as I took the stairs up to our front door.

"Edward, go home. I'm sure your mom and dad missed you as much as I did, and they're actually your family. Maybe after things cool down, we can see if there's anything between us that hasn't been romanticized by all of this stupid drama. You were absolutely right that it was a bad time for you to leave with us just starting a relationship…for both of us a first relationship. I think that was just too much pressure on the both of us, and we should have just kissed and said good-bye with no expectations for each other," I suggested as I walked into the house with him hot on my trail.

"No. I refuse to believe that. I refuse to believe that the feelings between us are anything less than real, Bella. I love you, and maybe I need a lot of direction in what the right thing is to do when you're in a serious relationship, but I absolutely won't give you up. I'm not leaving this house until you sit down and hear me out," he responded, anger clearly visible on his face.

Something in my mild-mannered, almost priest had changed, and it was throwing me off-balance. Some of his sweet innocence had been lost while he was away, and it actually made me sad. The man I was looking at as he stood in the living room of our little house was more mature and had more of an edge about him which was completely unexpected by me. I wouldn't lie to myself and say it wasn't completely intoxicating as well.

Just then, Alice came out of her room and joined us, looking quickly between the two of us with a smirk on her face and a pillow and blanket in her arms. "Edward, I'd be more than happy to have you stay with us as _my_ guest. I share the rent with Miss Stubborn, here, and I'm allowed to have guests if I so desire," Alice announced triumphantly before she turned around and walked back out of the room.

"You're seriously not going to stay on our couch when you have a lovely room at your parents' home?" I asked in disbelief as he spread the blanket on the couch and tossed the pillow on top of it.

"Get used to seeing me all the time. I'm not going anywhere," he responded as he toed off his shoes and placed his hands on his hips, obviously believing he'd won round one. I turned to go to my room to leave him to it, but when I heard his soft footfalls following me down the hallway, I had a pretty distinct feeling I wouldn't be getting a lot of sleep anytime soon.

##

Christmas Eve morning as I was headed to the kitchen to turn on the coffee maker, I glanced into the living room to see Edward still asleep, looking like the heavenly being that he truly was which took my damn breath away every time I studied his face. He'd been living on our couch for the past three days as Alice's guest. She'd guilted me as much as she could that I owed it to her to hear him out, and since I couldn't be certain that Jasper was ever going to come back to her, I was giving him opportunities to plead his case.

If Edward ever thought his calling was to the priesthood, he'd really missed the mark. He should have been a litigator because he made some very convincing arguments, and if I had a heart in my chest, I believed I could have been swayed the first night when he followed me home and kept me up until nearly 3:00 AM. Even Esme and Carlisle got in on the act, dropping off clean clothes for him because I supposed he knew that if he left, he wasn't getting back in the door if I had anything to do with it.

I flipped the switch on the coffee maker just as the doorbell to our little house on Second Street chimed. I walked back into the living room to see that Edward was still unfazed, so I knew it wasn't that he'd walked outside to get the paper and locked himself out.

I went to the door and opened it, seeing a very tired-looking Jasper standing there with a pine wreath on his arm and a box of baked goods in his other hand. "Swan, yuletide greetings. Where is _she_?" he asked as he pushed both things at me and walked in uninvited.

"Padre, wake up," Jasper yelled as he walked into the kitchen. I was a little wary about the fact that Embry was there and Alice wasn't expecting Jasper at all. I guessed that Embry had shown up after I'd gone to bed the night before but his car in our driveway quickly caught my attention as I closed the front door.

I hurried to the kitchen and placed the box on the table and the wreath on the counter. "Um, Jasper, have you never heard of using the phone first?" I asked as I tried to get him out of the house before a complete cataclysmic event occurred on the eve of the birth of our Lord.

"Calm down, Bella. I already know that she's not alone. Just point me in the direction of her room," He ordered as he pulled an éclair from the box and took a big bite.

Just then, Edward walked into the kitchen looking like the disheveled god-like man that he was. He was in a pair of flannel pajama pants and a black t-shirt, and his hair was everywhere. "Whitlock? When'd you get back, you lying sack of shit?" he asked.

"Got back to DC yesterday mornin'. Hopped a plane here late last night. Swan kicked my ass but good on the phone, so here I am. What the hell happened to you?" Jasper asked, taking in Edward's busted lip and the purplish bruise on his cheek.

"A minor altercation. It was a lot less harrowing than Libya. So?" Edward asked.

"You makin' any headway? You tell her what I did to ya?" Jasper asked as he poured himself and Edward a cup of coffee. I wanted to hear about Libya, but I certainly wanted to hear Edward's take on whether he believed he was making any headway with me, if that was indeed what Jasper was referencing.

"No and no. My actions were my own. There's nobody to blame but me," Edward responded as he pulled a glazed donut from the box and took a bite looking quite relaxed.

"Bullshit, son. Swan, your boy here deserves a little bit of a break. Every fucking time he tried to shed me I pulled out his contract and waived it under his nose, reminding him of his obligation. He's a loyal bastard, I'll tell ya that much. He didn't even look at another woman while he was gone, by the way, so give him a break. I took it upon myself to include him in my ill-conceived notion of makin' sure Alice didn't think there was anything serious between us. I thought that phone call would put her memory out of my head, and I drug the Padre along for the ride.

"Now, I've gotta rid Miss Alice of an unwanted houseguest. Oh, before I forget, Merry Christmas, Padre. I took one last run at Maria while I was in DC, and got you a new contract. You're not tied to me at all, but I hope that if anything really juicy comes up, you'll come along. I sold that interview with Shalit to the wires. I've got a check for you because they wanted the pictures you got as well. You still got the memory card?" Jasper asked.

"Yeah, it's at my parents' place. I'll get my mom to drop it off when she brings my clean clothes," Edward replied.

"Um, Jasper, when you say you '_took one last run at Maria_', does that mean what I _think_ it does?" I asked him.

"Now, don't judge, Bells. It was my last hurrah, much like I'm sure Alice is doin' right now. From now on, nobody else. I've gotta start lookin' for a house around here. Cullen, you ready to cut the apron strings with your momma? Maybe we can shack up like our women until we can talk 'em into a more permanent arrangement? Think about it. Now, which way?" Jasper asked. Edward pointed to the right, and Jasper smiled and nodded, leaving the room.

We heard a loud rapping on the door, and then we heard shouting which was completely expected. "Jeez, boy, put some pants on and get outta bed with my woman. Mary Alice, get somethin' on and tell the lad good-bye. _This_…this is done," we heard shouted. I turned to Edward, and we both started laughing.

"What happened in Libya?" I asked as I pulled a cinnamon-sugar donut from the box.

"We got detained for forty-eight hours because they decided we weren't legitimate news reporters and we were some sort of insurgent spies. Let's just say that they definitely have ways of making you talk. Thank God, Whitlock had a buddy who spoke the language, or we'd have probably still been there. So, are you going to listen to me now, or do I have to keep following you around and talking to the back of your head?" he asked.

It was true. He was a persistent son-of-a-bitch just as he'd threatened to be. He'd been following me from room to room, making his case, though he'd never told me that Jasper had threatened him with his contract. He did tell me that he didn't tell Jasper to say those things, but he didn't actually blame Jasper for any of it because he said he'd gotten caught up in the rush of the stories they were covering, and he basically lost track of time. He'd also told me that most of the places they were didn't have working cell service much of the time, nor was their access to the internet. Apparently, those messages and calls took place after I'd already changed my information.

"You're looking into my eyes now. Take your best shot, Cullen," I answered challenging him.

"I love you. I know that I hurt you, but you've got to believe that I didn't do it on purpose. I'm not saying that it's not my fault, but I suppose my naivety with regard to a _real_ relationship clouded my judgment, because I believed that you knew that I loved you and I was coming back to you. I had no idea that you'd ever doubt me because I thought we'd made a promise to each other. That was my mistake. I didn't nurture what we had, and for that I'm truly sorry. I'm just asking for you to think about us and search your heart to see if there's any room in it for me," he asked as he took my hand, sending the familiar shock up my arm that I'd missed so much.

"It's really hard for me to search my heart," I answered, holding his hand right back.

I saw the disappointment cloud his face, and I didn't want it there. "The reason is because it's been with you this whole time. I still love you, and maybe I'm a fool, but I'll give you a chance to prove to me that you're not just going to take off on me and not come back. That's my only hesitation, here, you know," I answered honestly because I still loved him, but I had that fear that I was fighting that he'd get a whim to go photograph the apple blossoms in Japan or something, and he'd be gone without much notice.

"I have long-term plans right here in Forks. I'm going to open a photography studio and see how it goes. I'm not going anywhere you're not, Bella. I can't do that to either one of us again," he told me as he pulled me over to the chair where he was sitting and onto his lap.

I gently kissed his lips because I wasn't sure how much his bottom lip hurt. Of course, the beautiful man was having none of that, pulling my body flush with his and kissing me deeply. I felt the familiar stir in my body that had been absent since he left to go to the Middle East, and I couldn't hold back, taunting his tongue with mine. He returned it in spades. Just as he was standing from the chair with me in his arms, hopefully to take me to my room and change both of our circumstances, I heard more shouting and saw Embry running down the hallway toward the front door.

Edward walked to the doorway of the kitchen, still holding me aloft, and we saw Jasper amble down the hallway, looking quite pissed off. "I'm tellin' ya, son, I'll kick your ass if you come near her again. It's a shame she didn't clue you in so you didn't get attached, but Alice is my girl, and her sayin' it ain't so doesn't make it true. Now, take your little candy ass back where you came from, and don't let me find out you've been sniffin' around her again. Oh, and you have a Merry Little Christmas now, ya hear," Jasper called as he shoved Embry out the front door, jeans in hand, clad only in boxers and a sweater.

I looked at Edward and he laughed. Jasper walked back into the kitchen and grabbed a cup from the cupboard, filling it and refilling the one he'd poured for himself. He looked at us as he walked out with the cups. "The little lady wants her mornin' coffee, right now. She ain't exactly warmed up to the idea that I shut her down on sleepin' with anybody other than me, but after a few dozen boxes of condoms and me crawlin' around on my knees beggin' for a shot, we'll reach an understandin'. Y'all gonna be around here tonight?" Jasper asked as Edward still held me in his arms.

"Um, I'm hoping that Bella will come to Mom and Dad's with me for dinner. Alice and Embry were invited, but since he's no longer in the picture and you know that Mom loves you, you're welcome to come," Edward offered.

"Now, that's right nice of Miss Esme. Send me a text with a time, and don't knock on the bedroom door for a while, please. Damn, it's good to be home," Jasper called as he left us.

I looked at Edward, and we both lost it. He actually had to put me down because we were leaning against each other to stay upright since it was so damn surreal that neither of us could believe it. "I hope they don't kill each other," I whispered as I dried my tears that were based solely in joy. I hadn't felt so light in a long time.

"It's only 8:00 AM. Can we go lie down on your bed for a while? Your couch sucks, by the way. I slept in a sleeping bag in Alaska that was more comfortable," Edward asked. I smiled at him and took his hand, leading him down the hallway to my bedroom and closing the door behind us.

We climbed into my bed, and he wrapped himself around me in a way I'd only ever dreamed about. I fell into a wonderfully restful sleep, and we didn't wake up until after noon. I could have stayed there until New Year's Day.

\\\

_**E/N: I'm not expecting absolution, but I hope it explains things somewhat. I mentioned in an earlier chapter that she was painfully shy, just like Edward, so I put myself in her head and thought about how I'd feel if the events I depicted in the last chapter happened to me. With regard to Edward, I'll remind you that he has no clue regarding what to do in a relationship. With regard to Jasper…well, he's just an ass.**_

_**So? Still want to stake me to an ant hill?**_

_**Till next time…xoxo**_


	9. Chapter 9

_**A/N: Well, after Apocalypse Friday, I'm quite worried about posting this chapter. Thank you for your review…even the scathing ones that made me consider not posting any further chapters and pulling the story completely because apparently, I'd messed it up so horribly that there was no way to fix it. I want to thank my steadies….those of you who said that you knew that I'd pull it out. You're the reason that this chapter is posting because some of the PMs I got…well, my skin is thick, but maybe not as thick as I thought.**_

_**If you're still with me, you know I'd never infringe on SMeyer's Twilight.**_

_**Here we go…**_

_**\\\**_

9. The Holidays

BELLA

##

"Mom! We're here," Edward called as he opened the front door, dropping his bag on the floor. He'd called her and told her she didn't have to bring him clean clothes because he wasn't going to be camping on our couch any longer, and I heard the squeal from my place in the bathroom where I was fixing my hair.

"Oh, I'm so happy! This is the only Christmas gift I need. Come into the kitchen. I've got cookies and hot chocolate," Esme squealed as she pulled me into her infamous bear hug. She gave the best hugs in the world.

We broke apart, and she pulled me into the kitchen behind her. After Edward and I were seated at the counter with a small plate of assorted Christmas cookies and two steaming mugs of hot chocolate with home-made marshmallow on top, she began the interrogation that we both knew was coming.

"Bella, shame on you for not telling me what was going on with that man. He had all of us fooled, you know," she admonished. I felt myself blush at the statement because she and Carlisle had been kind to Sam when he'd accompanied me to their Christmas party. The fact that the ass chose _that_ night and _that_ place to propose wasn't lost on me. I didn't want to go in the first place, but like most things in my ridiculous relationship with Sam, I wasn't given a choice in the matter.

Looking back on my bout of temporary insanity, I was in the "how the hell did you let that happen" camp with Alice. If I removed myself from the situation and just looked at the relationship as an outsider, I'd say that the young woman who'd allowed herself to be so controlled and manipulated by a guy wasn't exactly dealing with a full deck. Considering it was _me_, I truly had no excuse for allowing it to happen except that I was simply allowing things to take place with or without my consent. In hind sight, I actually wished that my mother would have come to visit because even as strange and flakey as she was, she'd have seen it and dragged me away by the hair if necessary.

Sam's decision to propose at the Cullens Christmas party in front of Edward's family and their friends smacked of him trying to prove to them that he was in control of me from there forward. I'd run out of the house like I was on fire because it was so completely inappropriate, but he'd followed me, and after the shouting died down and the threats were levied, I had his ring on my finger and the fear of God in my heart, much to my dislike.

"I'm so sorry about that display last week. I should have never brought him here, and I most certainly should have assumed he'd pull some stunt like that," I apologized. I glanced to my right where Edward was sitting and saw that he was none too pleased about the turn of the conversation.

He cleared his throat and picked up a chocolate chip cookie, breaking it in half and offering part of it to me. I took it and bit into it, closing my eyes at the taste. "I can't believe that you and Dad were so taken in by him. What happened to having my back?" he asked Esme as he ate his half of the cookie.

Esme shrugged and replied, "_You_ stayed gone, and it was reported back that you didn't want Bella to wait for you. How was I supposed to defend _that_? You weren't here with her, but I was. At a point we didn't know if you were _ever_ coming back or not, and I didn't want to see her wither away while she waited for you to make up your damn mind about things, so when I ran into her and Sam at the diner, I got to know him…or I thought I did because I think a lot of Bella, and I decided that if you couldn't see how special she was, I wasn't going to let her get away. If I had to accept Sam to keep her in my life, then that's what I was prepared to do. She's become a good friend to me over the time you've been gone, and as you know, I value my friendships."

"Well, once again, the all-knowing Esme Cullen wins. I'm going to go take a shower and change. I'll be back," he called as he kissed my cheek and left the kitchen, grabbing his bag on the way upstairs.

As soon as he was out of earshot, Esme whispered, "I had a little talk with Jasper Whitlock today, and I believe he knows better than to ever speak for another man's relationship. Men behave like idiots some times, but then again, we don't always use our God-given common sense either, do we? Now, is Charlie going to Lorraine's tonight or would he come over for dinner if I called?"

I really didn't know my father's plans for Christmas. We hadn't actually gotten to the point of sharing plans because Sam had mandated that I'd be at the reservation for Christmas, so Dad and I didn't really make plans beyond that. "I know that I didn't use mine, and I'll regret it for the rest of my life. Regarding Dad's plans, I'm not sure. I was supposed to be…uh, somewhere else, and Dad and Lorraine were going to come down tomorrow, but as far as tonight, I have no idea," I answered.

"Maybe I'll run to the bakery and see if I can run into him," she teased and then laughed.

"You know, he gets flustered with you for parking in front of that fire hydrant," I volunteered as I picked up a perfectly decorated sugar cookie Santa.

She laughed heartily. "_I_ know he does. Why do you think I do it? I love to get under his skin. He tries to be so nice, and he's got about ten different ways of telling me that it's not my personal parking spot, but I figure I'm doing my civic duty when I pay those ten-dollar fines. I get to see him twice and catch up with him. If I just showed up at the station or at his house to see how he was, he'd clam up like nobody's business, but let him write a ticket or take payment of the fine, and he's a Chatty Charlie. Now, I need to go finish wrapping a few last minute gifts since Edward's come to his senses and come back home. Make yourself at home, dear," she called as she left the kitchen.

I waited until I heard the door to the office at the back of the house close, and then I tiptoed up the stairs to the third floor where my almost-priest was showering. When I opened his bedroom door, I heard him humming in the bathroom. The shower wasn't on, so I had no idea what he was doing, but he sounded happy. I hopped onto his bed and crossed my legs like a pretzel after I kicked off my black flats, waiting for him to reappear.

I leaned to the left enough to see his reflection in the mirror. My gasp of "_oh my_" caught his attention as he saw my reflection in the mirror. He was only in a towel, and he was shaving. Sexy didn't even begin to encompass the sight to which I was privy. _Merry Christmas to me._

"You know, I can see you, right? No need to gawk in the mirror. Come on in. Where's Mom?" he asked as I hopped off the bed and went into the bathroom to feast my eyes on the hottest sight I'd ever seen in my entire life.

I plopped myself on the lid of the commode and watched as he contorted that perfect face to accommodate the razor that was whisking away the adorable stubble that had made itself known on the lovely jaw of the hottest man on the planet. Goodness sakes, he had perfect shoulders, chest and abs, and as I gazed lower than was appropriate, I was lost for a second until I remembered that he'd asked a question, and he was watching me in the mirror with a smirk on his perfect face.

"Uh hum," I cleared my throat and continued. "She's wrapping gifts downstairs. I don't mean anything by this, but where in the world did you learn to fight like that?" I asked, remembering the fight as I watched his hands, busted knuckles and all, draw the razor down his neck and rinse away the shaving soap he was using.

I'd never figured he'd be old school about his choice of shaving lubricant. He sort of struck me as a can man, but he had the whole mug/brush/soap thing going on. He didn't use a straight razor though, thank goodness, because I'd have been worried that he'd knick that handsome face which was the last thing I ever wanted.

He rinsed the safety razor and looked at me as he contemplated the reason for my question, glancing at his bruised knuckles. "I actually box. I started doing it years ago. My dad was a middleweight Golden Glove back in the day, and he taught my geeky ass how to box when I started getting the hell kicked out of me in middle school. I took to it and kept it up. It came in handy a couple of times when we were in Turkey when some ass tried to relieve me of my camera. Impress you, did it?" he asked smugly.

"Yoda, if I wasn't sure that you weren't going to get your ass kicked, I'd have enjoyed it a lot more. That was a foolish thing to do," I reproached. Edward was a large, well-built man, but Sam had grown up fighting with the other guys down on the reservation. When the fight began, I truly thought Edward was going to get the shit kicked out of him. I was quite happy I was wrong.

"Sweetheart, I think you'll agree that I came out a lot better than that bastard. I still don't want to talk about that, but we're not done with it, you got it?" he threatened as he took a warm wet cloth and washed the rest of the soap off of his face.

I knew that he had questions, but I didn't really want to answer them at that moment. It was hard to explain that I'd been so damn stupid as to let Sam happen, and I wasn't really looking forward to explaining it to him because it would absolutely reveal what I thought I'd kept hidden…I was a naïve, foolish girl. I was certain that he would rethink our relationship completely once he understood how immature I actually was in thought and deed.

He tossed the wet washcloth into the hamper and turned to me, leaning against the sink. "So, are you prepared to dress me or will you take your leave?" he teased. The sight of his naked torso had me so damn tongue tied that I couldn't put it together in my head that he'd actually asked another question. I was so flipping intrigued by where the little trail of hair ended that ran from just below his navel into the towel that I was sure I was drooling.

"Hmm. Huh? What?" I asked as I dragged _my_ eyes from his abs to _his_ eyes. He was laughing at me, but I wondered if he'd be laughing so quickly if I was in the same state of undress.

I saw a challenge from which I wasn't going to back down. I was done being naïve and foolish, and it was definitely time to begin acting my age…finally. "What's wrong, Cullen? Afraid that I'll get a gander at the goods and find them lacking?" I chided, taking the smug smile right off of his handsome face.

He seemed to regain his composure and walk out of the bathroom, tossing the towel at my head but not before I got a look at a very, very attractive ass. _Oh, sweet fancy Moses._

I saw him walk to his dresser and pull out a pair of boxers, pulling them on without turning around…unfortunately. I walked into the bedroom and resumed my spot on the bed with my legs crossed.

"So, am I dressed appropriately for a Cullen Christmas?" I asked as I watched him walk to his closet and toss out a pair of khaki slacks and a navy button-down. A belt followed and a pair of loafers was tossed out next.

"I personally think you're overdressed, but then again, if we're talking about sitting down to dinner with my parents, my sister, and the Neanderthal to whom she's married, you look perfectly lovely," he responded as he walked back to the dresser and pulled out a white undershirt.

"Why Mr. Cullen, was that flirting?" I teased as I bat my eyelashes at him.

He crawled up on the bed, quickly pinning me on my back and kissing me. "I don't really have the flirting thing down, but if I knew that nobody was going to bang on that door for about two days, I'd be more than happy to show you exactly what I mean. Wanna have a pajama party at your house tonight?" he asked as he nuzzled into my neck, rendering me completely dumbstruck as his lips worked their magic. I was definitely dumb, and I was definitely struck because it was a first that he was on top of me in so few clothes, and his request held a lot of promise.

"Hmm…yes, please," I told him as I felt his hand snake under my red sweater. The heat from it on my bare stomach caused me to turn stupid…er.

"Good. I was afraid I was going to have to climb through your window and stalk you. Now, I better get dressed because Mom or Rosalie is going to show up here to ruin the fun I'd like to be having right now," he responded as he kissed me on the lips again.

He climbed off of the bed and began dressing. I sat up and straightened my sweater, turning to look at him. "So, um, are you ready to, you know, take the next step?" I asked nervously. He'd explained to me that he hadn't taken it while he was gone, much to my relief, and I'd explained the same to him. In that moment, I was truly grateful that I hadn't been _that_ stupid.

As he pulled on his pants, he looked at me and chuckled as he adjusted a very impressive…err...tenting in his boxer briefs. "I've got a lot of next steps in my head, Miss Swan. You'll have to narrow it down for me because I did a lot of thinking while I was away. Do you mean making love? Do you mean me buying a car? Do you mean me renting a place with Jasper until you and I hammer out our future? Do you mean me opening my own studio? Do you mean the two of us getting married? Do you mean starting a family? See, I've got a lot of next steps on my mind. Pick one, and ask away," he replied as he pulled on his shirt.

_Oh, hell_. I was in way over my head. I'd been quite narrowly focused, only thinking about our physical relationship and not allowing myself to think about anything after that because of the mess I'd just recently gotten out of. Apparently, I'd been a bit short sighted in my musings when I was soaking in the tub thinking about him. He'd apparently thought a lot about the future while he was gone, and it truly surprised me.

"I, uh, I wasn't really thinking about anything beyond tonight," I answered nervously as he adjusted his shirt and buttoned it, his hands completely hypnotizing me as they deftly worked the buttons. He tucked it into his trousers and buttoned and zipped them, picking up the belt and threading it through the loops expertly.

He walked around the bed, carrying his shoes and a pair of socks, and sat down next to me. "Fine, we'll address short-term goals. I'd love nothing more than to spend the night with you, and if everything goes the way I hope it will, tomorrow will be a new day for both of us. How's that?" he asked as he pulled on his socks.

"What's changed since before you left in September?" I asked as I stood from the bed and straightened my slacks and sweater. He pulled me to stand between his legs and wrapped his arms around my waist, resting his head on my stomach.

"I know what I'll be missing if I lose you. I love you, and I'm ready for the next steps, all of them. I hope you're ready for them, but we'll take them together when you're ready. This whole thing with me being gone and you getting engaged to the rebound guy isn't going to stall my plans, Bella. I realize that we both behaved…well, stupidly, but I believe we've both learned that a relationship takes work on both of our parts. It's not just going to nurture itself…we have to do the work. I'm willing to do it, and I know I won't do it perfectly, but none of us is perfect. I hope you're willing to do it with me," he explained. I had tears in my eyes at his lovely words, and I could only wrap my arms around his shoulders and hold him tightly to me, so thankful to have him back.

"Now, that being said, I really hope you're ready for the first step tonight. Um, can we go to midnight Mass? I don't think I'll be up for church in the morning, and if I do things right, I don't think you will either," he replied. _Wow. What an answer._

##

EDWARD

"So, Teddy, have you, uh…" Rosalie asked with a cocked eyebrow as we had cocktails before dinner. Bella had surprised me in my room while I was getting ready, and when she didn't back down, I knew the time was right for the next step…the big step. I was more than ready for it, and I truly hoped that she was as well. If she wasn't, then I'd have to gear back, but I truly hoped she was.

"Do you really think I'd tell you?" I joked tensely. My dear sister knew me far better than anyone, and I knew that she knew exactly where I was in my pursuit of the woman who ruled my world, whether Rosalie actually said it or not.

"Ah, I see we've reached critical mass. Well, it's about time. Just remember to be kind and pay attention. Oh, hi Bella," Rosalie called as Bella walked into the family room with a glass of wine. She'd taken a few minutes after I left her to 'get herself together', as she told me. It truly boosted my confidence that I'd affected her as much as she affected me on an hourly basis.

"Hi, Rosalie. Where's Emmett?" Bella asked. Somehow during the time I'd been away, Bella and Emmett had bonded. I could understand it because he was an affable enough guy, but he was a loose cannon on the best of days, so I was really worried about their friendship. He had diarrhea of the mouth, and inappropriate didn't begin to touch some of the things that flew out of said mouth.

"God only knows. I'm glad you two came to your senses. How'd the jerk take it?" Rosalie asked, referring to Sam as she sipped her martini.

Oh, I had an answer for that one. "Well, the son-of-a-bitch seemed to have a penchant for tossing her around which she didn't tell anyone about. I took care of it, though," I answered. Rosalie smiled because she was nearly as good a boxer as me. Dad had taught both of us for different reasons, but I knew that she still liked to hit the bag as much as I did. The sight of my knuckles and the bruise on my cheek were definitely telltale signs that I'd left my mark…quite literally.

"Why the hell didn't you say anything? I'd have beaten his ass here the other night. Well, Teddy was always a lot more aggressive than me so I'm sure, and based on the lip and the knuckles I know I'm right, that the guy is sporting some very nice bruises and hopefully a broken bone or two," Rosalie joked. I nodded, knowing that the jerk was probably still hurting from the beating I gave him. It would be absolutely nothing compared to what I'd do if he showed up around Bella again.

"I'm making a bar run. Anyone?" I asked as I finished my Jack on the rocks. Whitlock had gotten to me, eventually, and with all the changes in my life, it shouldn't have surprised anyone that I was drinking hard liquor.

"I'll have another. It's my last hurrah. As of January 1, I'm off the hooch. We're going to start trying for a baby, and I've been told that I shouldn't drink. Bella, what kind of birth control are you on?" Rosalie asked with a knowing smirk on her face. I really wanted to kiss her for that one.

"Um, I'm on the pill. I was told that I had to go off the pill because I was expected to produce an heir nine months after the wedding day, but I kept taking them anyway. I was a fucking fool," she lamented. I was pretty sure that she was drinking on an empty stomach, so as a waiter passed by our little gathered group, I grabbed him and loaded a napkin with bacon-wrapped scallops and bar-be-que shrimp.

"Here, love, eat something. I'll be right back," I called as I walked to the bar and grabbed a martini, another Jack, and a glass of seltzer with a lime for Bella. I wanted her loose for what I had planned that night, but I didn't want her hammered.

"Well, look who it is? How's the pussy embargo?" Emmett asked as he stood next to me at the bar.

"If I have my way, it'll be lifted tonight if you'll do me a favor and get my sister drunk enough so that she'll leave Bella and me alone," I asked. He smiled and nodded, taking the drink from me and walking to where Bella and Rosalie were talking.

I grabbed the seltzer and my drink, and walked back to where Bella was talking with Emmett and Rosalie. I handed her the seltzer and smiled. "Vodka tonic. It's a lot kinder to you the next day. So, what were we talking about?" I downplayed.

"Hey, Padre. Bells," Jasper called as he and Alice approached us. It reminded me that they were going to be at Bella's house that night, which would make it uncomfortable if things progressed the way I hoped.

I pulled Jasper aside while Alice, Rosalie, and Bella talked, and whispered, "Here's everything I have in my pocket, and if you'll give me fifteen minutes to get my mom to herself, I'm pretty sure she has at least a couple hundred bucks on her that I can borrow. Can you take Alice somewhere else tonight?" I begged pitifully.

He looked at the forty dollars I handed him and laughed, handing it back to me. "Dude, keep the money, and go buy condoms and orange juice. Alice and I are stayin' at that little bed and breakfast outside of town. I absolutely refuse to sleep in the bed that she defiled not eight hours ago with another man. And, again, I'm sorry I made your life as much of a mess as I made mine. I'll be payin' for that mistake for a while, I do believe. Your momma called me today and chewed my ass but good for that phone call, so trust me, I'll never cross anyone in your family again. You and Bella have the house to yourself for a few days so I can begin payin' my penance to try to get back on Alice's good side. Now, where can I get the elixir?" he asked as he pointed to my glass.

"Thanks. Um, bar's over there," I pointed as he walked away from me and toward the bar, having grabbed Alice by the hand and pulling her behind him. I walked back to where Bella was standing alone because Emmett had dragged Rosalie away, and I wrapped my arm around her back, pulling her into me and walking us to a nice quiet corner of the room.

"I don't think there's much vodka in this," she laughed. She was so absolutely adorable that I wanted to haul her upstairs and endure the dirty looks that I was sure we'd get the next morning from my family, but I really didn't want our first time together to be at my parents' home. I composed myself and smiled at her.

"We eat dinner, sing a few Christmas carols, and we're out. Understood?" I ordered. I leaned down and kissed her gently to punctuate the fact that I meant business, and when I pulled away, she surprised me by moving her hand to my erection causing me to jump and her to giggle.

"I'm ready to go when you are, big guy," she whispered as she squeezed me a little and kissed my jaw. I was sure she felt what she was doing to me, and I knew it was the wrong place at the wrong time, but I was so beyond ready that I couldn't breathe.

I'd thought that waiting for the wedding night was the right thing to do, but I just couldn't. Once the feelings came, they came on strong, and I couldn't wait even though it went against everything I'd believed before I left her. I was certain that if my brothers at the seminary had a Bella Swan in their lives, and they were uncertain about the calling, they'd do exactly what I'd planned to do that night.

I wasn't going to let guilt play into it. We'd go to Mass, and then we'd see what happened. I hoped that what I wanted to happen would happen, but I'd never pressure her. I had enough self-imposed performance pressure on me that there really wasn't room to pressure her into anything.

We ate dinner with my family, and we left to go to church. We held hands throughout the Mass, but when it came time for Communion, I couldn't get in line because I needed to go to confession more than anyone in the church. I moved aside to allow Bella out into the aisle, and I prayed a prayer that I'd never imagined I'd pray in my life and one I'm sure that God didn't appreciate. I prayed that everything went well with the rest of my plans. It was likely breaking half of the Commandments, but I was beyond help at that point in time, a complete slave to my hormones.

After Mass, I pulled her out of church, and just as we were about to make good our escape, Father Chris appeared from nowhere. He was the last person I wanted to see that night with everything I had on my mind.

"Edward, my son, how are you? I've kept up with your new career, and I'm quite proud. The pictures from Alaska were quite compelling," he remarked as he looked down to see my hand clutching Bella's. The magazine had published Jasper's story and my photos in the October issue, and though I hadn't seen the copy, Jasper had heard from some of his acquaintances at the magazine that they were quite happy with the results.

"Father Chris, it's good to see you. This is my, uh, my girlfriend, Isabella. Bella, this is Father Chris. He was our Parish priest years ago, and he was my mentor when I was at the seminary," I introduced nervously, unsure of how he would take the news.

"It's very nice to meet you, Father. I've heard great things about you from Esme," Bella commented graciously as she shook his hand and smiled at him.

He looked at the two of us and smiled an unexpected smile at me. "I'm quite proud of you. You've found your path, haven't you? I think that's just grand. We don't always know where we're going when we begin a journey, but God finds a way to put us on the path we're meant to walk, now doesn't he? I'm available for weddings and parties, you know," he teased which caused Bella to giggle, bringing a smile to my face just like always.

The three of us laughed, and he turned to Bella. "I can see now that Edward has found the path he's meant to walk. I'm also available for baptisms, should you ever find yourself in need down the road. Merry Christmas, you two," he offered as he hugged the two of us and walked away.

We walked to my mom's car, and I helped her inside, hurrying around to the other side and climbing in. "He seems quite nice. He cares about you, you know, and I believe that he's genuinely happy for you. I have a sense about these things, just like I knew that you needed to go on the path that you had to walk. I'm so very sorry that I lost faith in you, Edward. That wasn't fair to either of us, but I just wasn't as strong as I thought I could be. I hope you'll forgive me for that," she asked as I started the car and turned to her before I drove away.

"You are truly a remarkable woman. I screw up and you apologize? Stop it right now. Let's go to your house and see if we can figure this out," I responded.

"Edward! We just walked out of church," she chastised half-heartedly.

I laughed. "Love, I know that but what I want to do with you is a communion of souls. I love you, and it's high time I showed you," I responded as I drove toward her house with only one thing on my mind.

After many, many heated kisses and a lot of bouncing off walls as we finally found our way back to her bedroom, there was no shyness. There was no hesitation as we undressed each other slowly with heated kisses as new flesh was exposed. There was no worry when we touched each other softly and explored everywhere our hands could reach, and when we came together that night, slowly because I was worried about hurting her, we found the last piece of the puzzle for our relationship. We were both finished with the stops and starts of it. For me, there was nothing but clear skies ahead.

She was beautiful. She was nervous. She was flushed from head to toe in the most beautiful pink I'd ever seen. I was overcome for about thirty seconds after I got her clothes off of her and saw her beautiful naked body for the first time in the dim bedside lamp. Feeling her entire body wrapped around me was a transcending experience that I hoped to relive over and over and over.

She was warm and welcoming after the initial fumbling that I'd done trying to figure out the best way to proceed, but then things fell into place…so to speak…and we made love the way I'd imagined it would be once I opened my mind to the possibility.

Feeling her naked flesh next to mine and moving slowly inside her nearly had me speechless. She kissed me gently on my neck as I nibbled on her earlobe, causing her to giggle, which immediately put me at ease after I'd entered her quickly when she said, "Do it like peeling off a band-aid…quick." After the flinch of pain on her face, I nearly lost my steam until she smiled at me.

"Are you okay?" I asked fretfully.

"I'm fine, honey. Now, let's get _busy_," she quipped which caused both of us to laugh. Feeling her body tense from laughter while I was inside her had my eyes rolling back in my head.

It was a serious step that we were taking, but I was happy that we weren't so damn solemn about it. It was an act of love, and love shouldn't be somber and silent. There had to be room for happiness and laughter because we were showing each other physically how much we loved each other, and for me, that was a cause for nothing but joy.

"Bella, I love you so much," I told her as I moved a little faster inside her, not able to contain my desire for her any longer.

I shifted up on my elbows, afraid I was crushing her slight frame, and when I put a bit of distance between us, balancing more on my knees to lengthen my stroke, her hips met mine which brought a moan from her that gave me every indication that she was enjoying it just as much as I was. "God, that feels so good," she gasped. I took every bit of encouragement she was giving and continued to move in and out of her, hoping that my assumption was right and wishing to hell that I'd have done a little research on the topic to ensure that she got everything out of it that I was.

Using as much restraint as I could muster, I slowed my ministrations down a bit and sealed my lips to hers, caressing her tongue with mine. She sucked on my tongue in a provocative way which caused me to think about other things being sucked. _That_ train of thought did nothing for my self-control, and suddenly I couldn't stop myself from moving faster into her.

"God, Bella, I can't…I hope…" I stammered, unable to put together full thoughts, much less articulate them in any coherent fashion.

"Oh, Edward," she gasped. Taking that comment in stride, I let go of any apprehension I had and slammed into her quick and hard. After several more strokes, I couldn't hold back any longer. I only prayed that she'd gotten there with me as I groaned her name when I let myself go inside of her. Her shriek led me to believe that she did.

"EDWARD!" she yelled. It was the best sound in the world as I collapsed on her chest, careful not to put all of my body weight on her. I kissed her neck and moved to her mouth where I kissed her with all of the gratitude I felt in my body that the beautiful, loving woman who was under me had forgiven me for my shortcomings and given herself to me without any hesitation.

I was certain I'd never experience anything like it again in my life…that was until the second time…and then the third time. We showered at 4:00 AM, and then we changed the sheets on the bed and fell into it again, slipping into a wonderfully exhausted sleep. It wasn't anything I'd ever anticipated that I'd ever experience, but once I did, I didn't know how I could have missed the experience. It almost seemed wrong to have denied us the experience for so long in the first place.

##

"Merry Christmas, Mr. Lover Lover," I heard as I stood in the kitchen rolling biscuit dough. It wasn't the most masculine thing to be doing after the night we'd shared, but I was going to make her breakfast and bring out all of my best stuff, my homemade biscuits being the star of the show.

"Merry Christmas to you, love," I answered as I took a glass and cut the dough, placing the round biscuits on a baking sheet.

She wrapped her arms around my waist and kissed down my spine, causing a shiver that wasn't unfamiliar. "You're sexy when you bake," she teased with a lilting tone in her voice which I took as confirmation that she was as happy and full of love that morning as me.

"If you think this is sexy, wait until I make you a pie," I joked as I moved her in front of me and put the glass in her hands, my hands on top of hers to guide her in cutting the dough. I kissed her neck as we cut out the rest of the biscuits, and then I took her hands and floured them, showing her how to work the dough and roll it again to finish the batch.

"How long do they cook?" she asked as we finished placing them on the baking sheet.

I picked up the pan and slid it into the hot oven. "Fifteen minutes or so. I wonder what we can do for fifteen minutes?" I teased as I picked her up and placed her on the counter, accosting her in a way I'd never done before. When the timer went off, I was grateful I'd set it because we were about two seconds away from forgetting the biscuits and violating the countertop in her kitchen.

I moved away and pulled the biscuits out of the oven before they burned. I was prepared to make eggs and bacon, but we ended up getting strawberry jam and honey everywhere as we fed each other, and it was a very Merry Christmas right there in the kitchen with me sitting naked on the chair and Bella naked on my lap with me inside her, feeding me and doing a lot of other things that a gentleman doesn't speak of but included licking jam from some very interesting places. It would go down as one of my favorite Christmases of all times.

We didn't exchange tangible gifts for Christmas because we'd given each other the biggest gift that we could _ever_ give each other…we'd waited for each other, and we'd given ourselves to each other completely. It was better than any trinket that could ever be given.

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_**E/N: Thank you for reading.**_

_**Till Friday…xoxo**_


	10. Chapter 10

_**A/N: Hello friends, and happy Friday. I'm so happy for the reviews of the last chapter. We broke 200! Thank you so very much!**_

_**Now, things are moving forward in this little relationship, and I'll warn you, we're nearing the end…now, don't grouse…you'll love the ending, I promise. The next few chapters are really fun. It ends at thirteen, with a two-chapter epi. Remember, now, I told you it wasn't a long story…**_

_**SMeyer owns all characters Twilight. No infringement…just a little use and manipulation for the pleasure of your reviews…**_

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10. The Plans for the Future

EDWARD

##

"This song is for you," I whispered into her ear as I sat at the piano in my parents' living room. It was New Year's Eve, and we'd been in blissful seclusion for days. We'd gone to her father's for Christmas Day dinner, and I was quite pleased that somewhere along the way, I'd seemed to have won over Charlie Swan. Lorraine and Bella cooked Christmas dinner after the plans changed that no one was going to the reservation, and we actually had a really good time.

After that outing, we didn't leave her house again until we went to my parents for New Year's. We'd made love and held each other afterwards, enjoying the sheer exhaustion of the act that we'd both never felt before. We cooked breakfasts, lunches, and dinners, sharing old family recipes and feeding each other. We shared stories about our childhoods and adolescent years…some good, some not so good. And, we'd talked about what had happened when I stayed gone longer than expected and she got tangled up with the worst possible guy in the world.

We both apologized for our pieces of it, and her comment of, "maybe it was just another door we had to go though so that we'd be ready for the window we climbed through on Christmas Eve," made me realize that she was probably right. It was yet another thing we'd had to go through to get to the place we were in that moment.

I showed her pictures I'd taken in my travels, and we reconnected in every possible way. I knew what the next step was that needed to be taken, and I was more than ready to take it. I had just been waiting for a sign from the lady that she was ready and willing, because I wasn't ready to climb out there on that ledge alone. I'd gotten it that morning when she walked in on me in the bathroom while I was shaving.

"_We should have braved the crowds and gone to Seattle the day after Christmas to buy decorations while they were all half price, you know. Next year when we have our own place, we'll have to buy everything at full price, and it'll be really expensive. I guess we could just get a small tree for our first one," she explained as she regulated the water on the shower before we climbed in together. We were going to meet her dad and Lorraine for brunch at "The Lodge" in town, and we'd sort of messed around a lot longer than we should have. If we were going to be on time, we were going to have to shower together…at least that's the argument I used to talk her into it._

"_We can just steal some stuff from my mom. I'm sure she won't even miss it. When Em and Rose got married, Rose actually put that kind of shit on the registry," I replied without really thinking._

"_Oh, you can do that? That's a great idea," she answered as she washed her hair. That was all I needed to hear. While she dried her hair, I called my mom and asked her for a favor, and when we walked into my parents' house that night, Mom pulled me aside and told me where she'd hidden the thing I'd asked her to retrieve for me. _

I began playing a song that was a very old song, made famous by the one and only Etta James. It rang true for me because at last, my love had come along, albeit a love I never expected but one that was appreciated and adored, nonetheless.

I felt her sit next to me, and I sang the lyrics softly to her because there were never truer words ever spoken or ever written. At last, my love had come along. I didn't know that I was waiting for it or that it was even in my future, but when it showed up, I grabbed it with both hands, and I never planned to let it go ever again.

When I finished playing the song, I pulled her hands into mine and looked into her eyes, taking a deep breath because what I was about to do was so foreign to me I was about to hyperventilate. "I love you. I know how it feels to be without you, and I just can't do it ever again, so it seems to me that the only prudent thing to do is to make sure that I don't _have_ to be without you ever again.

"I got on that plane in August dreading what I was about to do which was tell my parents that I wasn't going to follow the path that they felt was right for me. I ended up sitting next to the most beautiful woman I'd ever encountered in my life, and she was as scared in that moment as I am right now. I got her talking, and she captivated me so much that I couldn't think straight. I've made mistakes, and I'll likely make them again, but at the end of the day, I want to pick up the pieces with you. Please marry me, Bella," I asked, likely begged.

I reached into the pocket of my suit coat and pulled out the ring that my mother had gone to the bank earlier in the day and retrieved from their lock box. It was my grandmother's ring, and I held it out to Bella as a symbol of my heart.

She looked from my eyes to my hand, and she smiled _my_ smile. "Are you sure you're ready for this step?" she asked brightly.

"More than ready for this step. How about you?" I asked nervously. She kissed me softly and then held out her left hand which was shaking a little bit, giving me the answer that I hoped I'd get. I slipped the ring on her finger just as the clock struck midnight, and I kissed her with everything in me. The next time the clock struck twelve on New Year's Eve, she'd be Mrs. Edward Cullen. Oh, it was a great way to start the year.

##

BELLA

"I think it's a good space. I mean, there's a two bedroom apartment above it, and we need somewhere to start, right?" he asked as we walked the vacant storefront that we were looking at as a potential studio space for Edward's new business. The realtor was standing outside taking a call, and we'd just finished looking at the apartment upstairs. It wasn't very big, but it was all we'd really need just starting our life together.

He'd just returned from Alabama with Jasper, covering an unanticipated series of tornadoes that had hit the region again. I remembered the discussion we'd had after Jasper cornered me about the assignment, having gotten nowhere with Edward who'd stormed off down the hallway and slammed the bedroom door after declaring that he had no intentions of ever leaving again unless I was with him.

"_Bells, you gotta talk to him. He has that compassionate shit down in spades, and people open up to the guy like nobody I've ever met. I promise I won't keep him on the road again like last time. Just please, do Uncle Jazz a favor and talk him into going with me. The devastation needs to be recorded and shown to the public, and Ed has a way of doing it like nobody I've ever seen," Jasper pleaded._

_After he went to his and Alice's room, I went to ours and found Edward sulking on the bed. I knew he wanted to go, and he wasn't going to talk about it because of what had happened when he went to the Middle East._

"_Edward, why won't you even consider…" I began._

_He sat up and looked at me with a look I didn't recognize. "Why? Seriously? I swore to you, which I never do lightly, that I'd never leave you again. You know that I won't break my promise so don't even start it with me, please," he responded angrily._

_I sat down on the side of the bed and placed my hand on his face, caressing his soft cheek in a way I knew he couldn't resist. He had his go-to moves, but I had my own. "You and I both know that you'd never do that again. I know that you'll be back, and I'll be here waiting for you. These people need someone to tell their story, and I know that you can tell it better with your pictures than anyone I've ever met. I promise you, I won't lose faith again. This is what you're supposed to do, and I won't be the reason that you don't do it. I'll take this ring off right now and throw your shit on the grass," I threatened with a laugh in my voice._

_He looked at me and started laughing as he pulled me onto his lap and squeezed my ass. "You're a very threatening creature, you know, but I think I could stop you before you threw my shit on the grass. As for taking that ring off, I'll have to remind you why you accepted it in the first place," he teased as he pulled me down onto the bed on top of him._

_I decided to take another approach with the man because I felt like it was my fault he wasn't doing what he should be doing. "I tell ya what…you don't go to Alabama with Jasper and do your job…I develop a perpetual headache that won't get you laid for months." He laughed again at my empty threat, but after we climbed out of bed at 10:00 PM, he packed a duffel bag, and he and Jasper left for the airport. I fell into an exhausted sleep feeling quite proud of myself for finding his weakness._

Him traveling on occasion was something I knew I'd have to grow accustomed to if I was going to be married to the man. There were obligations he had to honor to the magazine, and I had the security that he'd come home to me, contract or not.

It was the middle of January, and we'd been engaged for about two weeks. It was a surprise to me when he'd proposed on New Year's Eve, but it was so wonderful that I couldn't have imagined that a Hollywood screen writer could have done it justice.

The families found out the next day at brunch, and while Edward had been gone to Alabama, Alice and Esme had bombarded me with suggestions about a wedding. Esme had even gone so far as to contact Father George, our parish priest, regarding when we could begin pre-canna classes. I wasn't really surprised at her enthusiasm after what Rosalie had told me about when she and Emmett got engaged. Esme wasn't in favor of long engagements.

"Honey, I think it's great, but I really don't know the first thing about starting a business. I teach fourth grade," I answered as my phone chirped in my pocket. I pulled it out to see that it was another text from Sam. I hadn't told Edward anything about them because I knew that all hell would break loose if I even mentioned them. I'd hoped the hope of the damned that if I just ignored him, he'd go away. Apparently, Sam wasn't seeing it that way.

"Okay, who keeps texting you? I've seen you pull that phone out more than usual and look at it, and then drop it back into your bag. Is it my mother because I'll get her to back off by threatening to run off to Vegas," Edward joked.

God, I wished that was it. I didn't want to lie to him, but I didn't want him getting into trouble either. Surprisingly, Sam hadn't filed a complaint against him after the fight at Charlie's, but that didn't mean that if Edward went after him again he wouldn't. "I think one of my students got ahold of my cell number and keeps sending prank texts…you know, _is your refrigerator running…you better catch it_? It's fourth grade humor," I lied with a deceptive smile…or so I hoped.

He looked at me and laughed, shaking his head and crossing his arms over his broad chest. "You know, I love you with all my heart, but you are the worst liar on the whole damn planet. Who are they from, Bella? I don't really think I have to ask, but tell me anyway," he ordered assertively. It was a side of him that turned me on because he had a commanding presence, but I wasn't about to get him riled up.

I swallowed hard and looked down at the floor, noticing that it was actually a nice blonde hardwood. "I like the floors. They really lighten up the place, don't they?" I hedged. I knew he wasn't a stupid man, and my weak-ass attempt at changing the subject wasn't going to work at all, but I had to try.

"Yeah, it's brighter than the fucking sun. What's he want, Bella?" Edward snapped as he reached into my purse and pulled out my phone.

I'd deleted the other messages unread, but I had been trying to be covert about the last one. I hoped it wasn't more of the same venom that had been spewed in the first couple of messages that I'd foolishly read. Based on the look on his face, I was guessing it was, and I knew that there was trouble afoot.

"Come on," he snapped. He grabbed my hand and pulled me out onto the sidewalk where Irina Walker was waiting for us.

"Irina, we'll take it. Let's do the paperwork later in the week. Something's come up that I need to take care of right now. I'll call you," he snapped as he dragged me down the street to his new car, my feet barely touching the ground. He'd bought a Volvo S60 T5 after the first of the year, and it was really a great car.

I reached for my phone from his fist before he actually crushed it, but he held it away from me. "You don't need to read that filth. I'm taking you to your father's house, and then I'm going to the reservation because apparently, I didn't beat enough sense into him the last time," he barked as he shoved me into the car, fumbling with the damn seatbelt around me. He was so pissed off that he was literally shaking

"Stop it! I got it," I snapped back. He slammed the door and walked around to the driver side of the car, getting in and beating his fists on the steering wheel, angrier than I'd seen him since the last time I'd seen him so angry which was the last time I'd seen Sam.

He started the car, and we sped to my father's house, finding Dad standing on the driveway with his girlfriend unloading groceries. I really did like her once I'd gotten to know her at Christmas. She was a very sweet woman, and she really seemed to care for my dad, which made me happier than I could begin to explain.

The car screeched to a stop at the curb, and Edward got out, stomping over to where my father was standing before I could even get out of the car. I quickly got loose from the stupid seatbelt and bolted to where they stood. "…I'm just warning you that I'm going down there and taking care of this once and for all. I expect that I'll end up in jail, but this shit has to stop," Edward yelled as he waved his arms around like a maniac.

"Edward, calm down. You goin' to jail isn't gonna help any of us. Let me take these inside for Lorraine, and then you and I will just take a ride down there and handle it. Bella, why didn't you tell me he was still harassing you? You gotta quit keepin' this shit to yourself. Now, grab a bag and you can stay here with Lorraine," Dad ordered. I took a bag from Lorraine, and we all went inside the house.

"What did it say, Edward?" I asked as I helped Lorraine put the groceries away while he paced the kitchen and Dad talked to someone on the phone.

"It said that you owed him something and that he planned to collect it because you withheld it from him when you were dating him. I'm not a member of Mensa, but even _I_ can figure out what he's talking about, and I will choke the life out of him before I ever let him get close enough to you to touch a hair on your head," Edward whispered. He wrapped his arms around me and held me tightly.

A minute later, Dad walked into the kitchen in his uniform, gun in place. "Charlie, do you really think that's necessary?" Lorraine asked. I agreed with her wholeheartedly.

"It's a Plan B. If Plan A doesn't work, then I'm goin' with Plan B. Come on, Cullen," Dad ordered. Edward kissed my forehead and walked out the front door behind him with a very determined air about him.

I turned to Lorraine who was looking at me nervously. "Dad has no jurisdiction down there. They're probably both going to end up in jail, you know," I informed her. I knew that if Edward told my father what Sam had texted, they'd both end up in trouble. It was the last damn think I wanted to happen.

"Well, I guess I better get my rainy day stash to go bail them out. Your father loves you very much, and if someone threatens you, you know that he's going to do something about it. I'm just glad that Edward didn't go down there alone. That might have taken more money than what I've got stashed away. Come on, let's start dinner until we get the call," Lorraine suggested.

I crossed myself and said a quick prayer, hoping that all they did was talk. I didn't want my father or my fiancé in trouble. Lorraine was right. Thank God Edward was thinking clearly enough to go to my dad first. I just hoped that they both didn't end up behind bars.

##

"So, wait, you didn't even get to lay a hand on the bastard?" Jasper asked in disbelief. We were fixing dinner at the house. Jasper had moved in because I was moving out as soon as Edward finished the paperwork to buy the building that would be his new studio and our apartment. The four of us had gotten quite close since Christmas, and we enjoyed spending time together sharing meals a few times a week. From what I understood, Alice had put the man through hell, and he was still jumping through hoops because of what had happened. Edward and I had forgiven him, but Alice, well, she sort of like to hold a grudge.

"Apparently, Sam had hit on Chief Black's wife last summer, and when she heard about Sam's threats against Bella, she came clean about it. His parents didn't want bad feelings with the rest of the tribe, so they sent him to live with relatives outside Vancouver. If he ever comes back, he'll have not only me to deal with but Jacob Black as well. They wanted to make sure that Bella felt safe down there because she's a great teacher, so they promised that they'd keep tabs on him. I'm just glad my ass didn't end up in jail," Edward explained. Oh, hell, I was glad of that as well.

Alice and I were sitting at the table looking at wedding magazines while the guys cooked. They were making liver and onions for themselves, following a recipe that some lady in Alabama had given them, but Alice and I demanded that we get something else because neither of us liked liver, so Edward had made a meatloaf.

I looked at Alice and whispered, "So, any talk of a wedding between you and Mr. Whitlock?" She started laughing.

"You want to see him crawl through his own ass, bring it up. I mentioned something about needing to go dress shopping in Seattle, and I thought he was going to curl up into the fetal position or have a fucking seizure until I explained that I was talking about my bridesmaid's dress. Oh, I talked to Rose and she found one. Did she send you a picture of it?" Alice asked. Alice was going to be my maid-of-honor, and Rosalie was going to be a bridesmaid.

"No, I haven't heard from her lately. Did she send you a picture?" I asked.

"Yeah, I'll get my phone," Alice called as she skipped out of the kitchen, seeming to be happier than anytime I'd ever seen her. I was happy that I wasn't the only one riding the high of finding the person with whom I wanted to spend the rest of my life. Maybe they weren't there yet, but I was certain, based on the look on both of their faces and the changes I'd witnessed in Jasper, that they weren't _that _far behind us.

While she was gone, I took the opportunity to tease Jasper because I knew that he showed Edward no mercy with regard to our relationship, especially since he'd figured out that we were having sex on a _very_ regular basis. He'd claimed to have heard us one night, but I found that very hard to believe because Edward was not a talker, curser, or shouter in the throes of passion. I wrote it off that Jasper had just noticed that the two of us were a lot more affectionate in public and that Edward spent more nights at our house than he did at his parents.

"So, Jasper, any talk of a wedding with the fabulous Miss Brandon," I announced with a bit of sarcasm in my voice. I saw Edward's shoulders shaking, so I knew he was laughing, having picked up on my game.

Jasper spun around and looked at me with a smirk. "Now, Bells, you know me better than anybody in my life. I'd get '_Property of Mary Alice Brandon_' tattooed on my ass in a heartbeat if that was what she wanted, but _that_ long walk? That ain't me, and you know it. Why is it, you people who decide to take the plunge want everybody you know to go down with the ship? Naw, I don't see weddin' bells in my future, and I'll thank you to kindly put the kibosh on any of those types of suggestions to my girl," Jasper replied quietly.

He turned back around and flipped the piece of liver while mumbling something. "You have no idea what you're missing. I really feel for you, Whitlock. I'd think that everything I've gone through would be a lesson to guys everywhere," Edward responded as Alice walked back into the kitchen, showing me her phone.

There was a picture of Rosalie's dress that looked absolutely lovely. It was a strapless number in ice blue that I knew would set off her eyes. Alice was going to wear a deep blue, but she wasn't sure if she was going to go off the rack or make something. I'd left it completely up to them, and they'd chosen shades of blue.

We'd actually set the date for August so that we could get married before I had to go back to school. As much as I dreaded the details and planning involved, I was looking forward to it. We'd lie in bed at night and talk about plans and dreams, and I was excited to start living them with him instead of just talking about them. As I was about to unleash a tirade about how wonderful it was to be looking forward to a life with the person you loved, the house phone rang. Edward was closest to it, so he answered it.

"Hello? Um, this is Edward. Yes. Oh, hello. No, I'm sure…no, it's not that…of course you'll be included…I had no idea you didn't know…I have no reason to doubt that I'm capable…we actually haven't discussed that yet…we'd really love it if you'd…that would be great…I'll relay the message…you, too. Bye," was the side of the conversation we heard.

Edward hung up the phone and looked at me with a less-than-pleased look, and I waited for the reason behind it. "I'm curious…why does your mother know nothing about our engagement? She believes that you think I'll judge her and find her lacking. She thinks you planned to keep her away from the wedding. She's also coming to visit this weekend. Your thoughts?" he sniped. _Shit!_

I knew that I'd kept putting off the call to my mother for obvious reasons. After Sam and I broke up, I called her and told her the wedding was off, but I didn't mention the reasons behind it because, well, my mother was a bit less than conventional, and I just wasn't ready to deal with her. It was one of those '_one thing at a time'_ situations, and dealing with my mother was near the bottom of that list.

Renee Dwyer was a free spirit…well, that was a complete understatement. That was what she called herself, anyway. Most people had other names for her…nutjob…wingnut…psycho freak…certifiable…or my father's favorite, plain-ol' bat shit crazy. She'd traveled a lot during the summers when I was at my father's for my summer break, and her adventures were the subject of ridicule by Charlie.

Trips to New Mexico to spend a week in a sweat lodge; an attempted pilgrimage to Tibet wherein she ended up spending a night in a jail in Bangkok before she ever arrived in Tibet for threatening a Sherpa or some shit like that; a scuba diving protest outside of Japan regarding treatment of one water mammal or another. The list was truly endless.

Luckily for me, by the time I got back to Phoenix every year, she had it out of her system for the nine-month school year, and my life went on pretty normally with the exception of the Hopi family that lived in our backyard one time. How that came about was still a mystery to me.

The only thing that remotely grounded her was her husband, Phil. He was a few years younger than her, and I didn't know if he was independently wealthy or what because as far as I knew he didn't have a job other than playing baseball for some farm team, but he was always nice to me, and I got along well with him.

No, I didn't think that Edward would judge my mother. I'd already judged her and found her crazy, and my failure to call her and explain to her about the change in line-up with regard to my engagement was more to save myself the embarrassment of her wanting to come and meet everyone rather than to make Edward feel like I was ashamed or embarrassed about our relationship. God knew I was anything but ashamed or embarrassed. I was happy as a damn clam about it.

"I'm sorry. Can we talk about it after dinner?" I begged. He nodded, and we proceeded to set the table and have dinner with Alice and Jasper, avoiding the topic of my mother and Alice and Jasper's relationship. It was one of the least exciting dinners we'd ever had.

##

"Look, I'm sorry that she grilled you. I have no idea how she found out. I was going to call her and explain things to her in April or May. I think that Charlie called her to make me miserable," I offered as we went to my room to get ready for bed. He wasn't exactly speaking to me, but it was my fault so I couldn't blame him.

"Actually, my mother got her number from Charlie and called her. Bella, she asked me if I had the ability to reproduce. You know, a little heads-up would have been nice before I had to field _that_ call," he complained as he emptied his pockets on the dresser, still less than happy about everything.

"God, Esme called her? I can't imagine what the hell she thinks about her and therefore, me. You spoke to her for a minute. Do you understand why I didn't mention anything? I planned to introduce you to her…um…eccentricities slowly, over time. I can't believe she's coming here," I complained as I pulled off my jeans and pulled on pajama pants.

"Don't bother with the pajamas," he called as he stripped off down to his boxers and climbed into bed.

If sex was going to get him in a better mood, hell, I was game. I stripped off my clothes, down to my panties, and climbed in with him, hoping that perhaps the feel of my naked boobs on his chest would cause him to forget that he was mad at me about the whole Renee fiasco.

I settled in next to him and turned on my side to face him. He was on his back with his right hand behind his head looking at the ceiling. I knew I owed him an explanation because his jaw was tensing like crazy. "Honey, my mother is out there…I mean really, _really_ far out there. When she and Dad were married, I went to church, but Mom protested it at every turn. She was into all kinds of strange religions and beliefs, and I think that quite possibly, her bizarre belief system was part of the reason that they divorced. Charlie couldn't understand half of the things that came out of her mouth, and she didn't like that he was so closed-minded, so they eventually called it quits.

"Me, keeping my mother away from you is so that you don't think that one of these days you're going to come home and find me with dreadlocks wearing a hemp dress and walking around the house with a bundle of smoking sage performing a Navajo cleansing ritual. Don't laugh…she's done that shit before. I'm just trying to save you some of the crazy, okay?" I reasoned, hopefully. My mother and Edward's family…God, please…no.

"So, the fact that she knows nothing about me isn't because of the fact that six-months ago, I was a week away from becoming a priest?" he asked as he turned to face me finally.

"Edward, no. It was all about me saving you from her particularly insane tendencies. She finds out you left the seminary, she'll have a million questions for you because she's never embraced organized religion, especially the Catholic religion, and she'll want to know why you decided to leave the seminary. I was just trying to save you from that," I responded honestly.

"Babe, she deserves the opportunity to ask her questions. She's your mother, and I'm going to be part of your family, okay? I can handle it, I promise. With everything I've dealt with in the last six months, your mother will be a walk in the park, trust me. Now, she brought up something that we actually have never really talked about. She asked me if we planned to have children, and I had to tell her that we hadn't talked about it, so maybe we should," he suggested.

I swallowed and replied, "Okay. What do you think? Do you want kids? I mean, you were set to live a different life, so maybe you don't want kids?" Hell, I didn't know how to answer him.

He rolled me onto my back and hovered over me, kissing my nose. "When I said I wanted to marry you, I hoped that it meant that we'd have children someday. I'd like kids, would you?" he asked quietly, seeming a bit unsure of himself. He needn't have been.

I squealed. I actually squealed. I wanted children with Edward Cullen because I knew that he'd be a remarkable father, but I just wasn't sure if he wanted them. He'd mentioned it once before we got engaged, but it had never come up again. To hear him say he wanted children with me made my heart sing.

I threw my arms around his neck and pulled him down to me, covering his soft warm, soft, inviting lips with mine, enjoying the feeling more than I ever thought possible. I loved the feeling of his naked chest on mine. The small smattering of hair tickled but it felt incredible and reminded me that he was a man and I was a woman, which made me remember other reasons why it was a good thing that he was a man and I was a woman.

When we pulled away from each other…momentarily I hoped… he smiled at me, causing my heart to beat faster. "I take that as a yes?"

"Yes. Yes. Yes. I'm twenty-five and you're twenty-six, so we've got time, but yes, I very much want us to have a family," I whispered as I gently scraped my short nails across his shoulders feeling him shudder gently.

"Perfect. We can still practice, right?" he asked as he kissed along my jaw and down my neck. Oh, heaven. Maybe he didn't exactly know a lot about lovemaking, but what he _did_ know had been honed to a fine art in the short time we'd been fucking like lab mice.

I had an idea about something we hadn't tried, and decided to throw caution to the wind. "Boxer's off, Cullen," I whispered seductively…well, I hoped it was anyway.

He quickly rolled onto his back and complied, which was exactly where I needed him. I kneeled next to him and began the path down his neck, onto his chest, circling first one nipple then the other, down his stomach which quivered as my tongue swirled gently, leaving a trail down to his navel. I nipped at it a bit, causing him to yelp a little which, in turn, caused me to giggle.

I wasn't to be dissuaded on my journey, and when I reached the Promised Land, I didn't hesitate to sweep my tongue across the tip of him, hearing him gasp, "Holy crap." Reinforcement was exactly what I needed because I had no idea what I was doing any more than he had any idea what I was doing.

It seemed to me like the best plan of attack was to be aggressive in my endeavor, so I took as much of him into my mouth as I could and the worked back to the tip, hoping upon hope that anything I was doing was bringing him pleasure.

Thankfully, his quiet moans and groans gave me the approval I needed to continue, so I did just that. After several minutes, I felt him moving with me and I felt his hand on my head as I heard him gasp and felt him let go. While it was the outcome I hoped for, I was surprised that it wasn't exactly as unpleasant as I anticipated it would be, having never experienced the _outcome_ before in my life.

With a final kiss to the tip of his flaccid appendage, I moved up his body on the same trail I'd moved down it and settled on his chest just as I'd been during our discussion. He was breathing heavily, and he was holding me tightly to him, which gave me hoped that he'd enjoyed himself. Hell, he'd just given me a mouthful of come, so he'd enjoyed himself, right?

"Are you okay?" I asked quietly because he hadn't said a word. I wasn't sure if I'd offended his gentle sensibilities, but he hadn't stopped me while I had him in my mouth, and well, there_ was_ an end result. Maybe it was a physiological reaction that he couldn't control, but once the blood recirculated through his body, I hoped he'd be happy about it.

He started laughing, which gave me pause. "Okay? Am I okay? I'm stunned but I'm more than okay. I just never…well, I never thought…what made you think to…crap, I'm a jabbering chump at this point," he chortled. That had to be a good sign.

"I assume it felt good, right? I mean, guys like that or so I was always led to believe, based on magazine articles and movies," I submitted by way of an explanation. I looked up to see the smile on his face as he looked down at me. He pulled me further up his body until we were face to face, and he kissed me deeply. I guessed that I was right in my assessment of the situation.

"Words seem to fail me at this point in time. Well, except for the fact that I need to tell you that I truly love you with everything in me. I won't lie and say that I never thought about you ever doing anything like that, but Oklahoma, if you ever want to do it again, please, please, don't think twice," he teased as he pulled my panties down my body and pulled me on top of him, having regained his steam during the kissing.

That night brought a few new firsts. It was the first time I'd ever loved him _that_ way, and it was the first time I'd ever been the one driving the train, so to speak. When I felt him stroke into me with a new confidence, it didn't take too long for me to let myself go with him following closely behind me. There were a lot of new sounds coming out of the bedroom that night, and I was pretty sure that Jasper and Alice heard every one of them. Hell, I really didn't care. Practice made perfect after all.

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_**E/N: Well, we've taken a little turn here in our story. Oh, God, wait until you meet Renee…**_

_**Please let me know what you think. I love hearing from you.**_

_**Till next time…xoxo**_


	11. Chapter 11

_**A/N: Thank you so much for your reviews and kind words. I appreciate them very much.**_

_**Update note: I won't be able to post again until next Tuesday because I'll be out of town without access to the internet. Sorry about that, but I've got family issues to deal with. As soon as I get back, I'll post up the next chapter.**_

_**SMeyer owns. I don't infringe.**_

_**Oh, I hope you love this one as much as I loved writing it. I believe I mentioned that Renee's something…well, read on my friends!**_

_**\\\**_

11. The Mother

##

EDWARD

I was nervous. If I was being honest, I was scared to death. I'd had a discussion with Charlie about Bella's mother, and when I told him that she was coming to visit, he laughed for a full fifteen minutes. When he'd settle down, he'd just start up again which had me on edge about what the hell I was in for.

Bella wasn't much better about it. She told me to hang onto my ass because Hurricane Renee was about to make landfall. My mother had invited Renee and her husband, Phil, to stay at their house, and that made Bella nervous, which fed into my nerves, and well, we were both nervous.

It was the Friday before Super Bowl, and they were staying until late on Monday. My mom was having everyone over for dinner on Saturday, and my sister and Emmett were coming into town for the occasion, only adding more nerves on top of the nerves I was already nursing. If Bella's mother was as out there as Charlie and Bella had alluded, Emmett was due to make it a full-blown living hell.

I'd closed on the building on Main Street, and there was remodeling work being done to make it a more welcoming space. We were set to move in after the middle of March, and I was actually excited to get the hell out of the house that we were sharing with Jasper and Alice. Privacy was going to be a welcomed friend. That was, after we survived the visit from Renee…if I survived.

We were standing at the security area when I heard "God, what the fuck is she wearing?" My fiancée didn't generally drop the "F-bomb," so I looked up to see what she was staring at. When the woman saw us, she started running, leaving her carry-on sitting on the tiled floor of the airport.

There was a man following her, and he grabbed it, which led me to believe that he must be the husband or the world's worst thief. I braced myself because I had no idea what was going to happen. It could go either way, and I was petrified.

##

BELLA

"God, what the fuck is she wearing?" I gasped. My mother's hair was in cornrows like a teenager on spring break, and she was wearing the ugliest caftan I'd ever seen. It was brown and green with huge yellow flowers on it, and she had on flip flops that had seen their better days. I was secretly happy that she was wearing shoes at all because she always said they were confining to the soul…not just the _sole_.

"Baby girl," she shouted as she ran toward me. I wanted to fall through the goddamn floor. I could tell that she hated the navy skirt and beige sweater I was wearing but certainly no more than I hated what the hell she had on. She engulfed me in a hug, and she reeked of some type of lavender oil. I then remembered that it was her relaxation scent and that she hated to fly as much as me.

"Mom. You've gone further off the deep end than you were last time I saw you. What's with the bedspread?" I asked sarcastically. I felt Edward pinch my ass and realized it sounded mean, but my mother was flying so high from whatever she'd taken on the flight that she didn't even notice.

She completely ignored my comment and turned to my lovely fiancé. "You must be Edward. You have such a beautiful aura. You _are_ a kind soul, aren't you?" she asked as she waved her hands in front of him wildly. I wanted to die, but he simply smiled and waited for her to say anything to which he could relate.

Just then, Phil arrived and dropped their carryon bags on the floor. My mother's was a hemp bag, which wasn't at all a surprise. "Bella, how are you?" Phil asked as he hugged me. He wasn't a bad guy. He was younger than Mom, but he wasn't creepy with me at all, for which I was grateful. They got married right before I went to the University of Arizona, and I actually never really knew what the guy did for a living, but he went _somewhere _every day when the baseball season was finished.

"I'm well. How could you let her get even crazier?" I whispered. He laughed as he pulled away from me, looking at my mom with a smile on his face.

"She's opened an organic healing store. It's all herbs and lotions and potions. It makes her happy, Bella," Phil answered looking at my mother with pure love. How could I criticize? I knew exactly how the man felt.

"Oh, Bella, you're ovulating. Are you two trying to get pregnant? We should align your chakras and then perform the African fertility ritual before you two have sex. I promise, you'll get pregnant over the next three days," my mom announced. I wanted to kill her for the announcement, but I knew that it wouldn't stop her.

"Try again, Mother. I'm on birth control, so no, I won't be getting pregnant over the next three days," I announced as we walked to the baggage carousel.

I found her huge duffel bag, and Phil found his suitcase. Edward took both and guided us toward the exit to the parking garage while Phil went to retrieve their rental car as we stood with my mom, waiting.

"Stop. Edward, I need a hug before we continue. I want to absorb some of your positive energy before we get in the car. I've read that the instance of traffic fatalities in this city is high," Mom said as she knocked the bags out of Edward hands and pulled him into a hug. He looked at me like he was scared, and I laughed. He'd brought it all on himself for inviting them to visit in the first place.

Once we got home, my mother waltzed into the house and immediately began digging into her purse. "Have you two cleansed the house since you moved in here?" she asked.

We weren't going to live there once the apartment was finished, so I really didn't give a shit about the energy in the house, and I was less than ready to deal with what I knew was coming, but Alice waltzed into the room with Jasper in tow, so I held my breath and waited. "Hi, I'm Alice. I can promise you that Bella and I gave the place a thorough cleansing before we moved in. We keep up with the housework quite well, I think. This is my Jasper. It's a pleasure to meet you. I have so many questions for you," Alice responded happily…the bitch.

I rolled my eyes and walked into the kitchen, grabbing the two bottles of wine I'd put into the refrigerator the night before when I'd gone to the grocery store. It was definitely going to take alcohol to get through the meet-and-greet…at least for me it was, and I was pretty sure that Edward could use a bit of the grape to get through it as well.

We were expecting Carlisle, Esme, Emmett, and Rosalie to show up at any moment, and I was dreading it immensely. I still couldn't believe that my mom and Phil were going to be staying at the Cullens' house. I was kicking myself for not suggesting that they stay at our house and allow Edward and me to go to Carlisle and Esme's. Alice and Jasper could handle my mother a lot better than Esme, the chair of the Ladies' Sodality, and Carlisle, a Eucharistic Minister. My mom would have a field day with them, I was certain, and I was completely dreading it.

"Oh, dear, that's not what I meant. The house is quite lovely and quite tidy, but there is a negative energy here that we need to get rid of. It will make for an inhospitable environment for your relationships, especially when you all begin trying to conceive. Bella, did you get the groceries I asked for?" Mom asked. _Hell no I didn't._

"Mother, I made eggplant parm for you and Phil, and I made lasagna for the rest of us. You don't need to cook. Now, everyone else will be here soon, so let's just calm down and have a glass of wine," I replied pulling out the corkscrew and six glasses. After the bottle was opened, I poured one for everyone before I excused myself to change my clothes from earlier.

I went to our bedroom and changed into jeans and a t-shirt. Edward, who hadn't said more than three words, walked into the room as I was changing. "She's quite colorful," he offered as he slipped off his slacks and button down. I'd told him not to dress up for the trip to the airport. He didn't listen…just like he didn't listen when I told him it was a bad idea to drag my crazy mother to Forks for a visit.

After I was changed, I walked back into the dining room and saw my mother give me the once over and then begin wildly running her hands up and down her arms, flinging them away from me. "What the hell are you doing?" I asked quietly, trying not to draw attention to her actions.

"I'm trying to deflect all of the negativity that you have coursing through you. I don't want it projected onto me, and I know you don't want it covering you. Now, I have something for you. These are fertility crystals. When you go off the pill, you put them under your pelvis while you and Edward make love. Well, that is, if you're on bottom. If you're on top, you put them under Edward. I promise you, they'll help you two make a baby," Mom explained. I wanted to explode. She dropped the bag on the dinner table and walked away before I could comment.

Phil walked into the dining room where I was setting the table. When he saw the bag on the table, he began laughing. "Oh, I wondered how long it would take her to pull those out. So, Bella, tell me how are things? Your boyfriend seems like a very nice guy. I was surprised to hear about your dad and his girlfriend. Are they planning on additional children? Your mother actually wants to try for one, if you can believe that," he told me as he followed me around the table watching as I laid silverware beside the plates.

"God, I can't imagine her with a newborn. That poor child," I told him. He laughed along with me, and I suddenly smelled something burning and quickly walked to the living room to see that she had Edward cornered and was waving smoking sage leaves around him. He looked like a dear in headlights, and I was hesitant to help him because I_ had_ warned him.

I finally gave in and joined them, dragging Phil along with me. "Mom, the man doesn't smoke. Can you stop waving that shit in front of him before he chokes?" I asked. She chuckled at me and then moved around the room, pulling Edward, Alice and Jasper with her. She was chanting something that I couldn't understand, and they clearly had no idea what to do to get away.

After I watched the tent voodoo show for ten minutes, I decided it was over and announced, "Let's...um…have a glass of wine while we wait." Edward was noticeably relieved as we all walked into the living room to sit down.

I saw that Jasper was about to bust something, and I gave him a look that meant that I would absolutely make good on some less than desirable promises that I'd made to him in the near past regarding his reproductive organs, which caused him to calm down.

"So, um, Edward, I'm anxious to hear about why you decided not to become a priest. I can tell that you and my daughter have been partaking of each other in the carnal sense. Was that it? You didn't want to give up sex?" Mom asked, causing Edward to choke and Jasper to unleash the laugh I knew he was trying very hard to hold in.

"_MOM_!" I shouted. Of course, she wasn't affected by my outburst, and I could see my fiancé cringing at her words. No one should have to be subjected to such questioning, but my mother lacked the filter that most decent people embraced, so I knew she'd ask many questions that would embarrass me, entertain Alice and Jasper, and likely mortify Edward. It was exactly why I'd kept her in the dark about him.

I looked out of the corner of my eye from my spot on the loveseat that faced the couch, and saw the smallest hint of a smile on his face. "Well, Mrs. Dwyer, to be honest, I didn't exactly know what I was missing with regard to carnal knowledge, so that had no bearing on my decision not to become a priest. Of course, now I can see how it would have swayed my judgment immensely," he answered as he took my hand and kissed it.

My mother squealed and squeezed Phil's arm. He was so used to her craziness that it didn't even faze him. "I told you…I told you. I'm so happy for you. I knew it would bring you out of your shell," Mom tossed in my direction.

"Swan, in all the years I've known you, how'd I never have the pleasure of meetin' your momma?" Jasper teased from the side chair he and Alice were sitting in. I wanted to brain him.

Luckily, before I had the chance to pick up something heavy to coldcock him, the doorbell rang. "Edward, that's probably your parents and Emmett and Rose. Will you get it? Mom, can you help me bring out the food?" I asked as I gave her the eye.

She smiled and rose from where she sat on the couch with Phil, following me into the kitchen where I closed the swinging door and got in her face. "Mom, I love you, but please, I'm begging you, don't embarrass me in front of Esme and Carlisle. I know how you feel about organized religion, but please…these people are going to be my in-laws," I pleaded as I opened the oven and pulled out the eggplant parm and a pan of lasagna.

"Baby girl, you know I love you. I'm only asking questions to get to know my future son-in-law. I'm not setting out to embarrass you. You, daughter, chose not to tell me anything about the man. Are you ashamed of him or something? He seems like a wonderful guy," Mom surmised correctly as she tossed the salad that I'd made earlier.

I thought about it for a minute and had to actually ask myself why I hadn't called her and told her about Edward. I knew I wasn't ashamed of him at all. I was certain that it was because of his upbringing and gentle manner, of which my mother was the polar opposite, and I wanted to save him the conversations.

"I'm most certainly not ashamed of him. I love him. It's just that you come in here with your bizarre chants and burning sage and lack of a filter asking us very personal questions, and Mom, he's not used to that. His parents are very active in the Church, and I know how you feel about it. They just won't understand your free-wheeling lifestyle, and I'm trying to make the best of a bad situation," I responded.

"You might think I'm out there, but I'd have never bought you a pornographic movie to try to help you understand how to enjoy sexual intercourse. The Kama Sutra, certainly, but not pornography," Mom responded. I turned to her and put my hands on my hips, not sure what the hell she was talking about.

"Mom, what the hell?" I asked angrily.

"Esme and I discussed it when she called to introduce herself, which really made me look bad, Bella. The woman called me out of the blue and told me that her son was marrying my daughter, and I knew nothing of it. Shame on you. Anyway, after she explained how unexpected it was because of the fact that Edward was embarking on the priesthood, she told me that when she and her husband determined that you weren't just a passing fancy and that you and Edward were serious, she sent Carlisle to the store to buy pornographic videos for Edward so that he would have some idea of what sex was like.

"She said that he'd never sit for the conversation and that she didn't even know if she or Carlisle could broach the subject, so they went the way of a visual lesson. You know that you can ask me anything about sex. I mean, I hope that when you two finally had sex you got an orgasm out of it. You know, masturbation actually aides in a woman's ability to achieve orgasms? I'm sure somewhere out there someone has done a study," Mom continued.

I, however, was hung up on the fact that his parents had bought him porn in hopes of helping him figure out how to have sex with me? He'd never mentioned it, but by golly, he was going to 'fess up to that one when I got a chance to give him the third degree about it.

"Um, the others are here. Do we have anymore wine?" Edward asked as he walked into the kitchen at the point where my mother was explaining to me that self-exploration of my body would help me teach Edward how to satisfy me. Based on the look on his face, he'd heard what she said, and he wanted to crawl into a hole as much as me.

"Oh, Edward, I was just explaining to Bella that if she learns the right amount of pressure she needs applied to her clitoris, she'll better be able to show you…" Mom offered.

"_Enough!_ Wine's in the fridge. Mother, a word in your ear?" I ordered as I led her to the laundry room before Edward actually combusted in front of me.

I closed the door and wheeled on her. "Are you fucking high?" I hissed at her. I knew that she was prone to a little recreational experimentation just as much as Whitlock, but I couldn't imagine when she'd have had the time to toke up. If she'd been high when she and Phil flew up from Phoenix, I believed she'd have been over it by that time of the evening.

"Not right now, but if you'd like to loosen up, I happen to have…" she began.

"Mom, seriously? Stop. I know that you're still a hippie at heart, but please, I'm begging you, no talk of my orgasms or my clitoris or marijuana or conception tonight, please? I need you to be normal for once in your life," I demanded as I wrung my hands at her.

"God, you need a Xanax more than anyone I've ever met. Fine, I'll be as silent as a stone. You stifle yourself too much, and you're going to make it very difficult to enjoy...never mind. I'll keep my mouth shut," Mom replied.

I opened the door of the laundry room and walked into the kitchen finding Esme and Alice standing at the counter drinking wine. "Oh, Bella, it's so good to see you. Renee, it's wonderful to finally meet you. I have to tell you, I tried that thing you told me about the pillow, and it worked like a charm," Esme volunteered as she hugged my mother. I didn't know what they were talking about, nor did I want to know.

Dinner went off relatively normal with my mother and Esme talking quietly about things I was sure I didn't want to know in detail. When Mom and Phil left with the Cullens and the McCartys, I was so worried about how the night would go that I was nearly in a panic attack.

The only thing the night was lacking was the Renee and Charlie reunion. I found out it was set to take place the next day at the Cullens' house. I wished that someone could just kill me to save me from it. It was going to be something I wasn't sure I could survive.

##

EDWARD

Bella's mother was a more colorful character than Jasper Whitlock, which I found hard to believe if I was being honest. I thought I'd met my match with him, but Renee Dwyer, with her crystals and her sage and her unorthodox beliefs was more than I was prepared for. I couldn't lie to myself and say that Bella hadn't tried to warn me about her, but I had the feeling that she was just exaggerating. I found out that night that my girl didn't lie about anything.

We were set to begin our pre-canna classes with two other couples the next week, and I was more than happy to get it underway because that just meant we were that much closer to being married. William Weber and his wife, Carol, were lay ministers at St. Cecelia in Forks, and they were leading the classes. I hoped the time would go fast. I'd actually hoped that we could sort of skip them because of my background, but Father George, the pastor at our Parish wouldn't have anything to do with it.

He wasn't exactly happy that we'd requested a visiting priest to perform our ceremony. Father Chris had been quite happy about it when I called him, and I couldn't imagine anyone else performing the ceremony. It was something that Bella and I had discussed and agreed upon, and to me, it seemed quite fitting considering the circumstances.

"So, Edward, where are you and Bella going to live after you get married?" I heard Bella's stepfather ask as we men cleared the table while the women were in the living room combing over the few wedding plans that had been made.

The wedding was going to be a small one, and the reception was going to be at my parents' place. As far as I knew that was about the only thing that had been nailed down. I was sure my mother's fingerprints were all over it, and I just hoped that Bella wasn't being railroaded into anything that she didn't want. She'd never said anything to me about the arrangements, but that was expected. She was never one to complain much.

"Oh, um, we just bought a building on Main where my studio will be. There's a two bedroom apartment upstairs that we're having remodeled, and we'll live there for a while until we decide to start a family," I answered as I rinsed the plates to put them into the dishwasher.

"That sounds great. You kids will have to come to Phoenix and visit us when you get settled. Look, um, I know that Renee is a lot to take at once, but she's a wonderful person, albeit a little on the fringe with a lot of her beliefs, but she truly loves Bella and wants her to be happy. She said there just wasn't something right about Bella and Sam, which was why she was insistent upon coming here for Christmas to meet him, and when Bella called and left the message that the wedding was off, Renee was actually relieved. She said there was something in his voice that was dark, and she didn't like it. She did his chart and said it was completely incompatible with Bella's, and she was trying to figure out how to tell Bella without upsetting her," he volunteered. Maybe Renee wasn't as far off the beam as I thought. She'd pegged Sam Uley that was for sure.

"I had the same feeling about him the first time I met him," my dad responded as he walked into the kitchen carrying the remainder of the eggplant parm and lasagna. The dinner had been fantastic, and I was looking forward to the leftovers, reminding myself that I needed to get myself enrolled in a gym because my girl could cook, and I needed to start working out on a regular basis.

"Why didn't you call me and let me know?" I asked as I grabbed storage containers from the cabinets for the leftovers.

"What was I going to tell your voicemail? '_Son, you should abandon your job and get home because your girlfriend is being courted by a man who's not worthy of her'_? You didn't call or try very hard to stay in touch. We had no idea where you were or what you were doing. We didn't know if you were done with Bella or if you'd met someone else. By the way, she didn't know either. That's probably something you should think about in the future," Dad offered as he handed me the dirty baking dishes.

I had no idea how long it would take them to let go of the fact that I was a major fuck up when it came to Bella and me, but it wasn't going to be that night. I hoped it would be someday soon because I was getting tired of hearing the sermons.

"We've talked about it and worked it out. I know I screwed up, but I'll never do it again. When Jasper and I went to Alabama to cover the tornadoes, I called her every night and made sure she knew I was safe and I missed her, okay? Let some shit go," I responded, hearing Jasper laugh behind me.

"Doc, I can assure you that your little boy learned a hard lesson. Hell, we both did. We're not likely to fuck up like that again. So, Phil, tell me, what's it like to live with Renee? Eddie, you might wanna take notes if the apple doesn't fall too far from the tree," Jasper joked as he brought in the remainder of the dishes from the table.

"Oh, I can guarantee you that Bella and her mother are nothing alike. Living with Renee is like taking a time machine back to Woodstock. Some days it's like I took the brown acid, but most of the time, it's incredible," he answered. I had no idea what he was referencing, but my father and Jasper seemed to understand because they both laughed.

"I have no idea what that means, but I love Bella, so if she ends up being like her mother, then that's fine, though from where I sit right now, I don't see it happening. I can't imagine Renee ever being like Bella, and vice versa," I volunteered. There was no greater example of night and day than Bella and her mother, in my mind.

Jasper went to the cabinet by the cupboard and pulled down a bottle of Jack and five shot glasses, filling each one which didn't surprise me in the least. He passed them out and raised his shot in toast. "Here's to the women in our lives. May they keep us guessin' for as long as we're above ground." We all raised our glasses and drank. He had a point. Every day with my Bella was a new adventure, and why I thought I needed to go in search of it was a mistake on my part. Staying right there in Forks was right where I needed to be. She'd keep me guessing every day for the rest of my life, I was certain.

##

"Goodnight. We'll see you tomorrow," Bella called to her mother as she and Phil got into my parents' car to stay at their house. We were set to go over to spend the day on Saturday, and I was actually looking forward to it. I'd talked to Renee and explained my reasons for leaving the seminary, and she was truly quite sympathetic to my situation, which I appreciated. I liked her very much and enjoyed her less-than-ordinary views on everything.

Alice and Jasper had already gone to bed, for which I was grateful, and we were turning off lights and heading to bed ourselves. Once we got to the room that we were sharing, I closed the door and Bella started laughing hysterically.

I worried that maybe it was some sort of delayed reaction due to the nerves she seemed to be harboring all night, but once she got her breath and calmed down, I was wishing it had been the nerves.

"So, let's have a little discussion, Mr. Cullen. I understand that your parents bought you porn to help you out with regard to our sex life," she blurted out, much to my surprise and mortification. I was actually astonished that Rosalie hadn't volunteered the information in their weekly phone calls, but my sister just wouldn't do that to me…or so I hoped.

"Crap. Did Rose tell you about that?" I moaned as I undressed for bed.

She walked out of the bathroom brushing her teeth and laughed. "Oh God, your sister knows? No. My _mom_ told me. Guess where she heard it," she called as she walked back into the bathroom.

I knew there was only one person on the planet who would have told Renee Dwyer that little piece of intel, and I was going to have a stern discussion with her the next day regarding her ability to keep her damn mouth shut.

I walked into the bathroom in my boxer's and t-shirt to face the music. It wasn't really my fault, even though I was embarrassed about it, but I should have just told her about it. I knew she'd find it funny, so why I withheld the information was silly.

I squeezed toothpaste onto my brush and watched as she washed off the little bit of make-up that she ever wore. She was beautiful without it, so why she even bothered, I didn't know. "Fine, you know. My mother made my father drive to Tacoma to buy it, and I watched about fifteen minutes of one video because my curiosity just got the best of me. It didn't do anything for me, okay," I explained before I jammed the toothbrush into my mouth and began vigorously brushing my teeth.

She dried her face and swept her hair up, having donned a tank top and sleep pants at some point in time. She crossed her arms over her gorgeous chest and smirked at me. "So, did you learn anything you'd like to share with the class?"

I laughed as I brushed my teeth, and then I remembered something I'd seen that might actually be useful. After I rinsed my mouth and washed my face, I turned to her. "As a matter of fact, I did. If you'd care to step into my office, I'll be happy to show you," I informed as I motioned for her to proceed to bed.

She climbed in and settled under the covers where I climbed in next to her, just happy to have her next to me. I turned on my side to face her, and I kissed her gently. "I love you, Bella Swan," I told her when I pulled away to look at her beautiful face, wondering what on earth I'd ever done to deserve a woman such as the one with whom I was sharing a bed.

She kissed me softly and pulled away. "I love you, Edward Cullen. Now, about this video…" she began.

I wasted no time stripping both of us from our clothes and moving down her body, taking my time to get to my destination. She was certainly worth the slow journey south that I was taking, and every nip of her skin and swirl of my tongue reminded me how lucky I was to have her.

When I reached my goal, I took my time, experimenting with tongue pressure as I swirled mine around her clit and dipped it into her warm, wet center and movement of my fingers inside of her, feeling her hands on my hair pulling me closer to her and hearing her gasps that gave me the encouragement that I needed.

The taste of her on my tongue was something I promised myself I'd enjoy at every opportunity, and when she called my name softly as her body quivered around my tongue and fingers inside of her, I felt a sense of triumph that I hadn't felt in a long time. Well, not since the first time I'd made love to her and had the experience of a lifetime that I'd never forget as long as I lived.

I slowly moved back up her body and stroked into her with much more confidence than I'd ever had before because I knew in my heart that I had the power to satisfy her, and I could draw sounds and responses from her that I'd never imagined.

"God, you taste really good," I whispered as I rolled us slowly and pulled her on top of me, sitting up to have full access to the most beautiful breasts I'd ever seen in my life. Well, they were actually the only breasts I'd ever seen in person, but I was truly sure they were perfect. I swirled my tongue around first nipple one and then the other, and the soft moans she gave me as she moved on top of me reminded me that I would have the privilege that no other man I knew would ever have…I'd get to make love to Bella Swan for the rest of my life, and she'd never be with any other man. She was mine and I was hers, and there was no history to contend with for either of us.

It was an epiphany I didn't expect, but as she rested her forehead against mine after we both exploded around and inside of each other, I knew how lucky I was, and how much I'd have missed out on if I'd never come to my senses in that bar in The Philippines. Bella was my home, and as long as I had her, I'd always have a home that would hold me and love me and make me feel wanted.

My goal in life was to provide the same things for her, and as I held her that night when we sunk into exhausted sleep, I knew I had the ability to offer her the same thing. I could be her home as well, and my heart swelled at the thought of it. I was Bella Swan's home as much as she was mine. It was with a sense of gratitude that I said my prayer that night. I'd been given a great gift, and I was determined to be thankful for it.

\\\

_**E/N: So…Renee? Any thoughts?**_

_**I'm donating a one-shot to Fandom4LLS. I donated one last year, "If the World Ends," (it's posted on this site) which is about the group sitting around discussing what they'd do if it was their last night on earth. There are a few revelations… I'll let you know the particulars about the event as they come to me if you're interested in donating to the cause.**_

_**Till next time…xoxo**_


	12. Chapter 12

_**A/N: Sorry for the span of time between updates. My father is gravely ill, and I ended up staying in Missouri longer than I anticipated, but I'm back for now. So, thank you for your reviews, and I'm so happy you love the story. I told you Renee was crazy…well, here's more of it.**_

_**SMeyer…creative genius of Twilight. Me…borrower, not infringer.**_

_**\\\**_

12. The Fertility Dance

##

EDWARD

"This could really go either way, you know," Bella told me as we drove to my parents' house to spend time with the whole family the next day. Her dad and Lorraine were supposed to join us, and she was very nervous regarding the reunion of Renee and Charlie. Apparently, they hadn't seen each other in several years, and according to Bella, her mother had actually gotten crazier since the last time Charlie had seen her.

After the whole Sam Uley thing and Christmas, Charlie and I had grown closer. I don't know if it was the ass beating that I gave that dick on Charlie's front yard or the fact that he knew that I loved his daughter and would do everything I had to do to take care of her, but it seemed to me as if we'd reached a new level of respect in our relationship, and when we spent time at her father's house, he actually treated me as a friend…that or he was a very good actor. Either way, I'd take what I could get from the man because I loved his daughter, and he was important to her; therefore, he was important to me.

"Your father's happy, as is your mom, so I don't think I'd worry about it too much if I were you," I commented, hoping to calm her down. I took her hand and kissed it, holding it close to my chest.

"Yeah, well, we'll see. I hope your parents have alcohol handy because I know _I'm_ going to need it," she replied. I chuckled as I pulled into my parents' driveway and drove up to the house, seeing Jasper and Emmett tossing a football in the front yard because the day was unseasonably warm.

"Here they are. I guess once you got a little honey on the stinger, it's hard to get out of bed," Jasper called as he threw the football at my head. I let go of Bella's hand and caught it, turning around and tossing it into the woods off to the side of the driveway as I walked by where he and Emmett were standing, laughing at my reaction to them. I felt no need to comment, except to mutter, "assholes," under my breath which caused Bella to laugh.

We went inside the house and found my mother and Renee in the kitchen. Renee had some sort of a scarf tied around her head, and she was wearing a poncho that looked like an afghan that my grandmother had crocheted years ago. "Shit," Bella sighed. I squeezed her hand and let it go to greet my mother and receive a bone-crushing hug from Renee.

"You kids missed my root-vegetable and tofu omelets this morning. Emmett ate two," Renee offered.

"Mother, Emmett would eat road kill if it would stay still long enough. What are you making there?" Bella asked as she slipped a large bowl of some sort of broccoli, bacon, and onion salad into the refrigerator that she'd made at home. I'd tasted it and it was great, much like everything else she cooked.

"Oh, it's a new recipe that I'm trying. So, you two look very well-rested. I take it that you had an enjoyable night," Renee observed, waggling her eyebrows at the two of us.

"God, Mom, please. Esme doesn't want to hear that kind of talk in her home, much less when it refers to her own son," Bella hissed quietly.

My mom turned around with a smirk on her face and responded, "To the contrary, dear. I'd rather hear about it like this than what I heard coming from Rosalie's old room last night. Apparently, she's ovulating, and Emmett needs a lot of encouragement."

"I'm out," I announced as I spun on my heel and walked back out the front door to endure what I was sure would be more torture from Jasper and Emmett. It was better than listening to it from my mother, who, I was convinced, had adopted a "how can I torture my formerly chaste son?" attitude of late.

Jasper and Emmett were sitting on the steps having a beer and chatting about the Pro Bowl which had been played the weekend before, and the Super Bowl which was to be played the next day. "Son, I can't believe you came here instead of goin' to the game. You're not that far from Indianapolis," Jasper commented.

"Trust me, my buddy had tickets, and I was all set to go, but Rosie told me I had to come here, so that was out the window. She's still pissed because I insisted that we fly home on Monday instead of tomorrow because I'm not gonna have my ass on a plane and miss the game," Emmett answered.

It was my turn to taunt him. "Why was it so important that you come with her this weekend, anyway, Em? I mean, they're just making wedding plans, and I really don't see where you're added value," I teased.

"I'm here for a higher purpose," Emmett gloated. I should have known better than to try to embarrass him. He'd get the best of me every time.

"Oh yeah? What, pray tell, would be the higher purpose for you to be here?" Jasper asked. I couldn't tell if he knew the answer or not, based on the blank look on his face.

Emmett stood up and turned to face the two of us on the stairs, and then the ass began shifting his hips front and back in a very lewd gesture while his bent arms went in the opposite direction. "I was required to be here to sow my seed. The little woman is ovulating, and she needed the big guy here to do the deed," he volunteered as he continued to shift his hips, Jasper and I both cracking up at his little dance.

I'd heard the front door open, but apparently, Emmett hadn't. "Emmett, you jackass. I'll get what I need out of you another way if you don't knock that shit off. Piss me off too much, and I'll just go to a sperm bank," I heard my sister snap behind us.

The look of shock on Emmett's face was enough to satisfy me. The idiot had been caught mid-thrust, and _the little woman_, my take-no-shit sister, wasn't pleased about it at all. I was pretty sure that he wouldn't be getting any until the next time she was ovulating, and it caused me to laugh like a damn hyena.

I looked at Jasper and stage whispered, "Wonder where all this cockiness was last night? I heard that he needs a lot of positive reinforcement in the bedroom." I felt a shoe crack me in the back, and I hopped up off the stairs in time to see my sister coming at me. She kicked off her other shoe and chased me around the yard.

"I'm going to rip your dick off," Rosalie yelled. I was zigging and zagging out of her way just as Bella's dad and his girlfriend pulled into the driveway.

"Kick his ass for me," Charlie called as he and Lorraine went inside. I got Rose around the middle just as she was about to rack me up, and I carried her back up to the porch, shoving her at Emmett.

"I believe this belongs to you," I called as I grabbed a fresh beer from the bucket and went inside, not wanting to miss the reunion of Renee Dwyer and Charlie Swan. I was sure it would be good.

##

BELLA

We were in the kitchen cooking, and my mother and Esme seemed to have a lot of inside jokes. Esme had admitted that the two of them sat up drinking beer after they got home the night before, and they'd gotten to know each other very well. That information did nothing to calm my nerves.

Alice and Rosalie came downstairs and joined us into the kitchen as Esme was thanking my mother for some sort of a pointer regarding how to keep from getting a cramp in her hip…I was sure it had something to do with sex…and I knew I was flaming red.

"Suffice it to say, the outcome was quite well received," Esme concluded as I chopped onions and bell peppers to make kabobs.

Rosalie grabbed a bottle of Snapple from the refrigerator and handed me a beer. "So, when are you guys moving?" Rosalie asked. Esme had taken her and my mother over by the building we'd bought to show them the progress of the remodel. Edward and I had chosen all of the appliances, cabinets, countertops, flooring, and wall colors, but we weren't allowed to see it until it was finished. It was our wedding gift from Carlisle and Esme.

"As soon as it's finished. I think the date of completion is the middle of March," I commented before I took a long pull from my beer. At that point, it would have been much more convenient if they'd just wheeled a keg in for me. I was waiting for my dad and his girlfriend to show up, and I wanted the alcohol to dull my senses enough so that I didn't glow like a hot nuclear reactor for the rest of the day.

"What is Emmett doing out there?" Esme asked as she turned her attention toward the picture window in the breakfast nook. We all walked over to the windows and saw him doing some little dance on the front sidewalk, looking completely comical.

"That bastard. He says it's his fertility dance. I'm going to kill him," Rosalie called as she stormed out the front door. We heard her shouting at Emmett, and I rounded the door just in time to see her chuck a shoe at Edward.

He jumped and ran from the porch, and she took off behind him, chasing him through the yard as he continued to laugh and dodge her fists. "It's like they never grow up," Esme called as we all walked back into the kitchen.

A minute later, I heard my father clear his throat behind us. I drained the beer I had and turned to see him eyeing my mom carefully. She turned around and smiled. "Charles Swan. Look at you. You look quite happy," she called as she walked over to where he stood and puckered up, planting one right on his lips.

I saw his eyes widen as he pushed her away, and the look of shock was something to see. "You must be Lorraine. It's a pleasure to meet you," Mom told her as she pulled her into a hug. Stunned silent didn't even begin to describe the look on Lorraine's face. She and my mother couldn't have been more different.

Carlisle and Phil walked in, and I saw that Dad looked a little relieved. If he thought Phil's presence would rein my mother in, he was sadly mistaken. Phil had no more control over my mother than one would have over a rabid badger.

Edward came skidding in with Jasper and Emmett not far behind him, I'm sure not to miss the show, and I braced myself. "Oh, Emmett, I can actually teach you an African fertility dance. Your little dance was cute, but I know one that's highly effective. Edward, you might want to learn as well since you and Bella have been so repressed for all of these years. Jasper, I doubt you'll have any problems when the time comes," my mother called as she began chanting and hopping around on one foot, her arms flailing around like she was have some sort of a seizure.

I heard my father moan next to me, but everyone else in the vicinity of the scene was trying not to laugh. Poor Lorraine just appeared to be in shock.

When she was finished, Mom looked at Emmett, who was really doing his best to keep from laughing hysterically. "So, do you need me to do it again, or do you think you got it?" she asked him.

"Oh, I definitely think I need you to do _that_ again. Actually, do you mind if I tape it so that I can practice at home?" he asked. Thankfully, Rosalie punched him between the shoulders, causing him to cough loudly.

"How about after we eat? I learned a variation from my friend, Faye, if you're specifically interested in a boy. That might be helpful, actually," Mom commented.

"Renee, I can honestly say that I'm surprised at you. I didn't think it possible, but you've torqued up the crazy shit since the last time I saw you," Dad commented as Carlisle handed him a beer. I could tell by the look on his face that he'd actually already had a few snorts, likely in preparation for the day. I wished I'd done the same thing before we left the house.

"Now, Charlie, you and I know that we only had one thing in common and it was sex. Oh, he's very good at sex, isn't he? Surprisingly attentive," my mother commented to Lorraine who choked as if she'd swallowed her tongue.

"Oh, God, Renee, please…" Dad began. I saw the look of mortification on Dad's face, and I actually laughed. He gave Edward so much shit over the time we'd been together that it was about time for someone to get him. He knew better than to try to top her because her mind was a great expanse, and I was pretty sure he didn't want her to begin talking size and technique with his new girlfriend.

My sweet Edward offered, "Um, I think the game is on." I looked at him with a cocked eyebrow, and he winked at me, obviously trying to diffuse a situation from where no good would come.

The men disappeared quickly, leaving the women in the kitchen. "So, um, Lorraine, what might I offer you to drink?" Esme asked.

"Anything with alcohol," Lorraine strained out. _Man, I could relate to her more than I ever thought I could._

The rest of the day was relatively uneventful. Rosalie and Alice took my measurements because Alice was actually going to make my wedding dress, and we narrowed in on a design based on the sketches Alice had already prepared.

Mom's suggestion of a traditional Quileute wedding costume was quickly overruled by everyone. She defended her suggestion by saying, "It adds to the spirit of the Northwest." None of us agreed.

We said our good-byes that night because Mom and Phil were going to drive back to Seattle for the day on Sunday and then leave on Monday. Everyone was coming to our place for breakfast so Mom and Phil could pick up their rental car that was parked at our place, and the last thing I really remembered was Edward saying, "Come on, Drunkella. Let's get you home and in bed," as he hauled me up over his shoulder and carried me to the car. Before I passed out in the car, I prayed that I wouldn't remember any of it the next day.

##

"Babe, you've got a letter from your mom," Edward called. The studio was actually finished, and Edward was outfitting it as he had time. Esme had given him a table and two couches to have in the outer waiting area, and he and Jasper, who surprised everyone with his painting abilities, painted backdrops for studio shoots. Everything was coming together slowly, but we were doing it on our own…with a little help here and there…and we were both happy.

We'd just moved into the apartment, and it was beautiful. We didn't have much furniture, but we did have a bed, and as it turned out, that was about all we needed. We'd refused to allow Carlisle and Esme to buy us furniture, telling them we'd rather accumulate it slowly as we could afford it, and thankfully, they didn't argue.

I walked into the kitchen where Edward stood at the counter sorting the mail, and he shoved the envelope toward me. I rolled my eyes, worried about what was inside, and slipped my finger under the flap to open the envelope.

When I pulled out the card, I was pleasantly surprised. It was a lovely hand-painted card with a picture of Edward and me looking at each other and smiling. "That's really cool," I remarked as I opened it to find a rectangular piece of paper flutter out onto the counter. I ignored it and read the sentiment.

_Kids,_

_You didn't ask, but we wanted to help, so enclosed is a token of our affection and support for your joining of your lives. Bella, I'm so proud of you for your accomplishments, and Edward, I know that you're good for my daughter. I have no doubt that you love her and you'll take care of her. You have no idea how much of a comfort it is to me._

_The enclosed check is for you to purchase the things you need for your new home. I hope that you'll have time to come visit us over the summer after school's out. There are some lovely places in the area that I'm certain would provide a magnificent opportunity for Edward to photograph._

_I'm in touch with Alice and Esme regarding the wedding expenses. Those are being taken care of by Phil and me, with your dad paying what he can. No argument, Isabella. We're doing this._

_Thank you for our lovely visit. We hope it can become a regular thing._

_Love,_

_Mom and Phil_

"God, I don't know if my heart can take it as a regular thing," I said out loud as I handed the card to Edward. I picked up the check on the counter and flipped it over, my breath catching in my chest.

"Holy shit! This is for $50,000. I can't…where the hell?" I gasped, handing it to Edward. He looked at the check and looked at the card again.

"What the hell does Phil do for a living?" he asked. I honestly had no idea.

"I have no idea. I mean, we had a nice house in Phoenix, but it wasn't anything extravagant. They were married just before I went to college. I thought he just played baseball. I know my mom opened a shop of some sort, but I can't believe that she makes _that_ much money. I need to call her. This has to be a mistake," I responded.

I grabbed my cell and dialed her number. "Baby Girl! It's so good to hear from you. How's my favorite couple?" she asked cheerily.

"Um, we're fine, but we're a bit puzzled. Mom, I think this check that you sent is a mistake," I told her.

"Is it not enough? I mean, it's not a wedding gift or anything, it's just a cushion, but if you need more, I can get another check to you," Mom offered.

Edward flipped it around and pointed out that it was a cashier's check, not a personal check, which meant that it wasn't a mistake. I actually hopped up on the counter to have somewhere to sit. "No, no. It's a lot more than we need. I mean, where'd you get this kind of money? I never wanted for anything growing up, but Mom, we didn't have _this_ kind of money," I asked.

She laughed. "Honey, Phil owns a plumbing business and has about ten outlets here in Phoenix. He also came into some money when he lost his mother. My store is doing well, but not quite that well, but after we met Edward and got to know him, we wanted to help you kids get started.

"I know that you insisted on taking student loans for what your scholarship didn't cover, but I'm hoping that after you two furnish your home, there will be enough to pay them off so that the two of you can start on a solid footing. I might be flighty and crazy, but I know how it is to live without money. I never want you kids to feel the pinch that your dad and I felt all those years ago. Now, I hate to cut you off, but I've got a store full of customers. We'll talk soon. Love you both. Bye," Mom announced and hung up on me.

I hung the phone up and slid across the counter, swinging my legs onto the kitchen side where Edward stood looking at me for answers. "It, um, it's a cashier's check, Bella," he pointed out as he held it up in front of my face.

"Yeah, it is. Unbeknownst to me, Phil is some sort of plumbing tycoon, and they're paying for the wedding with Dad's help. She stays in touch with your mom and Alice, and I guess it's going to be taken care of. I just assumed that we'd pay for things as they came up because it's going to be small, but come to think of it, your mother hasn't mentioned one word about expenses to me. Has she mentioned anything to you?" I asked.

I knew that not a lot of things had been firmed up, so I wasn't really surprised that finances hadn't been discussed, but I had kept a running tally in my head as we were making decisions. There were only going to be about fifty people, so I didn't think it was going to be very expensive. Alice had insisted on making my dress, paying for the fabric herself, as my wedding gift.

Rosalie had insisted on buying my undergarments and shoes as her wedding gift. I'd given Esme a check for the deposit for the tables and chairs for the reception, and she didn't say anything about the fact that it was or wasn't enough. She had contacts who were giving us a break, or so I was told, and when I handed her the check, she smiled and put it in her wallet.

I quickly called my bank and ascertained that the check had never cleared my bank. "Crap, your mother didn't cash my check for the deposit to the rental company," I told him. He looked a little sheepish, and I wondered why.

"What's with the look?" I asked. He walked over to me and situated himself between my legs, pulling me closer to him and kissing my nose.

"I actually replaced your check with one of my own. Don't freak out. I put a large down payment on this building when we bought it, and I still have money in the bank. I had some money that was left to me by my grandparents, but I didn't mention it. I waited for you to ask me when we closed on the building, but you just signed on the line. I certainly wasn't going to look for trouble," he confessed.

"Edward Cullen, shame on you. How much, if you'll tell me, is _some_ money?" I asked nervously.

"Love, I told you I'd tell you anything. We have a cushion of about a two-hundred grand. I put seventy-five down on this, so we still have a mortgage for seventy-five, but I don't want to burn through the money. I spent about five grand of my own money when I was traveling, and then of course, I bought the car. We're not independently wealthy at all, but we've got a cushion until my business takes off, which I pray it does. I haven't been holding out on you at all, but you seemed to be in no hurry to furnish the house, so I wasn't about to push," he admitted.

"Well, you continue to surprise me. So, now, we can take some of this money and buy a couch, television, and table and chairs, and then put the rest in the bank," I suggested.

"We can do whatever you want. If we can do whatever _I_ want, I've got some distinct ideas about what I'd like to do right now, and none of them involve shopping for furniture. We've got exactly what we need for what I'd like to do," he told me as he picked me up from the counter and carried me back to the bedroom while I kissed and sucked on his neck. I didn't want to make a mark on his neck because we were going to Mass that night with Carlisle and Esme, but I could certainly put them where no one would see them.

He placed me on the bed and climbed up next to me, stripping my tank off and showering my chest with open mouthed kisses which drove me crazy. I pulled his t-shirt over his head and returned the favor.

"Five months," he whispered against my neck as he reached down and began removing my sleep pants as I once again returned the favor.

I remembered what had taken place at our pre-canna class the Monday prior, and I stopped him. "We shouldn't, you know," I told him half-teasing. We'd talked about sex, which was really an uncomfortable conversation with the Webers, but it was actually worse on one of the other couples because it was their daughter, Angela, and her fiancé, Ben. I wondered if the poor guy would be able to get it up after the class was over.

"Oh, but we _should_," he demanded as he pulled my hands away from his chest and secured them over my head with one of his. At that point, I had no argument. When he stroked into me and pulled back slowly, I couldn't formulate a coherent thought, much less a legitimate argument for why what we were doing was wrong. I loved him and he loved me, and it just seemed wrong not to show each other how much we cherished that love.

After several minutes of the two of us moving against each other creating enough friction to start a campfire, I was panting heavily. "God, I love you," Edward gasped as he let himself go inside of me. I'd already reached the Utopia that I'd often experienced when we made love, and embarrassingly, I had let go of a few choice words that I wouldn't have believed would come from my mouth, but the man had learned well in the short time we'd been engaging in the most mind blowing sex I could ever imagine.

He always teased me after, but when the time came and the lights lit up and the world became a brighter place as I let go and felt the most incredible feeling in the world, I had no control over what came out of my mouth. I just hoped, secretly, that someday, I'd get him to let go of a string of curses the way I had.

After he caught his breath, he released my hands and leaned up on his elbows, looking deeply into my eyes. "I believe that was near perfection," he joked.

"Well, we can't go to communion tonight unless we get to church early and go to confession," I replied.

"Actually, it's useless to go to confession if you plan to commit the sin again, and trust me, I plan to commit the sin again in about ten minutes, give or take. We should just go get married and then get married in the church in August," he responded, not for the first time.

"If you didn't want to wait until August, why'd you agree with August?" I asked as he moved off of me and pulled me onto his chest. I turned on my stomach and crossed my arms over his chest, resting my chin and looking into his beautiful face.

"Because, it seems that I lose the ability to reason when you're involved. If you don't know that yet, then I've just tipped my hand and sentenced myself to a life of being whipped, as Jasper and Emmett have told me I am. I have no idea how to say no to you, and I fear I'll never learn," he responded as he picked up a piece of my hair and twirled it between his fingers, looking perfectly serene.

"You know, that goes both ways, right? I can't tell you no either. It took me a while to understand you, because when you were gone last fall I just thought you'd moved on, but knowing you now, I can see where you'd have taken me at face value that I'd be here waiting for you, and you didn't need to worry because I told you to go follow your path. I suppose I was my own worst enemy," I recalled.

"No, I was totally wrong and naïve with regard to all of that. It was all so new to me, love, that I didn't know how important it was to stay connected. Trust me. I thought about you every damn day, but I thought that if I called you when I could, it would be enough.

"A lot of the places we found ourselves didn't lend themselves to cell service, but that's not an excuse. I'm so sorry that I put both of us through that. I was so damn miserable not hearing your voice. I just didn't have the slightest idea what was proper, and I certainly didn't want to scare you off. I believe I proved that I learned my lesson when I was gone last time," he replied as he rested his left hand against my right cheek as his right hand went under his head so that he could see me better.

"Honey, you did. I won't say that I overreacted because I just didn't know what to make of not hearing from you, but I actually understand it now. That being said, don't ever take advantage of my good nature again or I'll hunt you down and hurt you," I ordered as I kissed his chest.

He laughed and said, "I have no doubt that you would. So, I suppose we should go to Port Angeles and start furniture shopping?" he asked.

"I'll look on-line and see if I can find something we'd like. So, Mr. Cullen, how's that recovery time working for you? If we're both going to hell, we might as well enjoy the descent," I told him as I climbed on top of him and felt him ready to go again beneath me.

I quickly positioned myself so that he could easily fill me again, and that time, much to my surprise, he actually dropped a "fuck, yes," when he released inside me. I wasn't setting out to make him a trash-talking sex addict, but it was a bit of a victory for me considering some of the things that had come out of my mouth. I settled into a nap next to him with a smug smile on my face. I'd cracked my almost priest to the point that he absolutely let himself get as caught up in the pleasure we gave each other. It was almost like the gold stars I gave my students for acing a spelling test.

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_**E/N: Lots happened. Please let me know what you think. Not much more left….I think I told you this was a shorter one. I look forward to your thoughts regarding the Renee/Charlie reunion and the rest of it.**_

_**Till Friday…xoxo**_


	13. Chapter 13

_**A/N: This is the last chapter to our story. There's a two part Epi that I'll post tonight because these chapters are short. Thank you to all who read, reviewed, rec'd, and even ripped apart. You're all lovely, and I truly appreciate all of you.**_

_**SMeyer owns all Twilight characters. No infringement intended.**_

_**\\\**_

13. The Finish Line

BELLA

##

"Heads up. I'm going to take three pictures. If I see one tongue sticking out, I'm going to tell Miss Swan, and trust me she'll make sure you never do it again. On the count of three, I want smiles. You only have two days of school left, and then you have the whole summer vacation," Edward called to the students of my class.

He was taking the class photos at the school, and he was doing it for free, even though I'd told him that they'd pay him, but he wouldn't hear of it.

It was the end of the school year, and I'd enjoyed my class more than I ever thought I would. We went through the trying times as I'd expected, but we'd had the standardized tests and the last two days of school were going to be filled with class picnics and a field day with an end of the year party at the beach for the whole school. I was looking forward to the summer off, knowing it would only be a few months before we were married, and there wasn't a girl on the planet happier than me.

Just as Edward counted off, I stopped him. "Stop. Jared Black, I'll call your mother if I have to," I chastised as I saw his fingers heading toward his mouth to pull it out and stick his tongue out. I knew that the boys had plotted to do it because the girls had informed me, and I was determined that the first official class photo from my first year of teaching was going to be perfect. I wasn't above calling mothers.

Jared Black, much like his father, was a leader. He was the prankster in my class, and he actually made me laugh. He was a very intelligent young boy, but he had so much energy that I was certain he just didn't know how to channel that he was disruptive most of the time.

His pranks were well thought out I'd have to admit. Edward and I laughed about them when we had dinner, and he assured me that he'd pulled some of the same stunts. A frog in my desk drawer had caused me to shriek like a banshee one Thursday. Chalk wedged in the erasers was as old as me. Taking the screws out of my desk chair, however, was a new one and when my ass met the Masonite flooring, I was pissed.

The entire class spent recess inside for three days over that one because they all hung together and refused to give up the culprit. Edward told me that he was actually proud of their solidarity. I wasn't, and my legs in the air when the back came off the chair wasn't the most dignified position for a teacher to find herself that day. Alice told me that there had been end of year pranks in home economics as well, so I didn't feel too bad. It wasn't just the new teacher they were picking on.

"Let's try again. One…two…three," Edward called, having shot three quick shots on two. On three, the boys were making faces and the girls were shrieking because the boys were pulling their hair.

My beautiful fiancé looked in my direction and laughed. "I got two good ones. Now, Miss Swan, get in there and let's just get some candid shots," he called.

I approached the class and sat down in a chair that had been placed in the middle. I kept turning to see if they were behaving themselves, and after several minutes, I heard Edward calling, "Okay, that's a rap. I happen to know that there are cupcakes in the classroom."

They all ran back inside the school, and I walked over to where he stood disassembling his equipment. "Mr. Cullen, where might those cupcakes have come from?" I asked as I handed him his camera bag which rested on the ground near his feet.

"Well, Miss Swan, I might have made them this morning for your class. Don't let the word get out because I don't intend to bake cupcakes for each class. I think that would ruin my rep as a hardass," he whispered. I looked around to see that all of the kids were inside, and I quickly kissed him. He was absolutely wonderful, my almost priest.

We walked into the building and went to my classroom where Alice was, once again, handing out cupcakes. For once, they were all in their seats and behaving. "Can you get a shot of that? By the way, I got called into the principal's office this morning," I joked. I had great news, and I couldn't wait to share it until I got home.

He took a few pictures and turned the camera my way, causing me to blush. He put it down and looked at me. "So, were you a bad girl? Do I need to punish you when you get home from school," he whispered as he leaned into me and took my breath away. He was very good at that move.

"I got my new contract. Two years with a little raise. I'm going to turn down the jobs at Forks Elementary. I feel like I'm doing good here, and I just can't leave. I know they were offering more money, but I love these kids, and some of the rising fourth graders are siblings of these kids. I just can't leave. Is that okay?" I asked him as he peeled a cupcake, offering me a bite.

He smiled and swooped his finger through the icing, touching it to my nose and laughing. "If that's what my girl wants, then that's perfect. You know I'll support you in any way I can," he replied as he then kissed the icing off of my nose. I heard the "Ew" behind us, both of us clearly having forgotten where we were, and we both laughed.

"Enough. Tell Mr. Cullen thank you for the cupcakes," I called out. I heard the chorus of "Thank you Mr. Cullen," which made me smile.

As everyone was cleaning up their desks, the bell rang that the school day was over, and Alice waltzed up to where we were standing with a smile on her face that a stick of dynamite couldn't have blown off.

"I want the two of you to be the first to know that I'm leaving. I've accepted a job at a private school in Hartford. I'll be leaving in July in order to move and get settled, but I'll come back for the wedding," she announced.

"What? I thought you loved it here," I replied feeling distraught all of a sudden. She was one of my first and best friends, and I didn't want her going anywhere.

"Oh, I do, but this is an opportunity that I can't pass up. I expect you know something about that, don't you, Edward? Anyway, Jasper has already decided what he's going to do, and since we're not tied together permanently, I guess I always thought this was a possibility. I'll see you two later," she called as she left the room.

I turned to Edward and saw him looking quite guilty. If he was keeping something from me, I was going to hurt him. "What's she talking about?" I asked as I packed up to leave for the day.

"Fuck, she just can't help it, can she?" he cursed as he packed up his equipment. That sent up a big old flare.

"Just tell me," I ordered as I grabbed my bag and logged off of my computer for the day. I didn't have a good feeling at all.

"Okay, Jasper called me yesterday and told me that he's going to London for the Olympics. He wants me to go with him, but I told him no. I told him that I'm not going. I owe them some pictures, but I thought we could go down to Phoenix, and I could let your mom take me around to get photos and write an essay to go with it. He's pissed at me, and apparently, she's pissed at him. I'm not getting involved in their drama," he confessed.

"Don't you have to go? I thought you had a contract," I reminded, not really dwelling on his absence. It would be at least two months, I was certain, and it would inevitably coincide with our wedding. I was having a hard time keeping my cool, but I knew what his job entailed, and I knew if he had to go, then he had to go.

"I have a contract, but I'm not tied to Jasper, and I'm not going. Would it be a good opportunity? Probably. Am I going to take it? No," he responded quite stubbornly.

God, the timing sucked, but if he had to go, then he just had to go. He could fly home for the wedding, and then go back. We could put the honeymoon off until Christmas, and it would be fine. It wouldn't be like the other time…or I prayed it wouldn't…so we'd be fine.

"Nope. You're going. We'll work it out. I guess you'll just have to close the shop temporarily, but Edward, if you have to go, then you have to do it. I'll be fine. I'm not the stupid girl you left the last time. I know that we'll be fine. Just make your arrangements, and if we have to postpone the wedding until you get back, then that's what we do. I love you," I told him, knowing in my heart he was going to go.

He looked at me for a minute, and then he pulled me into his arms, dropping his bag and kissing me hard on my mouth which caught me completely by surprise. I swept my tongue across his soft lips and we deepened the kiss, each of us clinging to each other like lifelines.

He broke the kiss first, which was a surprise. He looked into my eyes and smiled. "That…that right there is why I love you so much. I truly appreciate that you'd accommodate a trip to London, but Bella, I don't want to go. I want to stay here with you. I truly love you, and I've been asked to take the baseball and soccer team photos this summer. Who'd do that if I was gone? We're going to raise our kids here, and I don't want the people in this town to hate us. Thank you for your understanding, but I'm not going. I'd almost guess that Jasper won't be going to London either. Hartford, maybe, but London, I don't see it," he offered as he hugged me tightly.

If that was what he wanted to do, and it was his decision, I'd respect it. Oh, I'd dance naked in the moonlight and thank whomever for it, but I'd respect it just the same.

##

EDWARD

All I really heard was "I pronounce you husband and wife" before I scooped her up and kissed her like I was never going to get to kiss her again. She was my wife, and I was so happy about it that I lost all sense of time and reason. I didn't even wait for Father Chris to say that I could. Once I heard the pronouncement that was all I needed.

The summer had been busy, but we'd accomplished a lot. My work was busy, and Bella was volunteering down at the reservation for the summer, running a make-shift summer school to help the kids who were having trouble during the school year.

We'd furnished our home, and we were so damn happy that it was sickening…well, it was to most people. Our families were happy for us, not that it mattered, but we were very glad that they were.

We'd gone to Phoenix over the summer, and I'd taken pictures at a nearby reservation and in the desert. It had been a wonderful experience, and the magazine was happy about it, which in turn made me happy about it. The fact that Bella was with me the whole time was like a damn bonus to me.

Jasper went to London for two days and abruptly left, claiming that the camera guy with him was an idiot, but he didn't cover the Olympics. He found himself in Hartford, Connecticut, and he was basically in shock. He'd sent me a text to go to the old house and find his balls and send them to him FedEx, which caused Bella and me to laugh many a time.

Rosalie was pregnant, but not far along, though far enough to have adopted the bitchy hormone. Emmett walked around like a scolded puppy most of the time, but he was quite happy, and if I put myself in his shoes, which I'd hoped to do in the near future, I could understand it.

Our wedding reception was very nice, though in my mind a waste of time, but it was what you did for those you loved. As soon as it was over, we went back home. We were going on a honeymoon to Brazil because I'd never gotten down there, and I'd rented us a place on a secluded island off the coast. It could have been a shack for all I cared because I wanted it to be just the two of us, and the island offered the privacy I craved.

As I stood at the reception watching Bella make her way around the yard welcoming everyone, I thought back about when and how I met her. She'd been a surprise. Hell, she'd been a shock. I didn't know she'd be my future at the time, I just knew that I couldn't accept the future that everyone else had laid out for me, and I was revolting against it, prepared to take the consequences when I got on that plane.

I'd have never guessed at the time, but there she was in the seat next to me, scared to death and as beautiful as anyone I'd ever met in my life. I had the deep-seeded feeling that she was put there for a reason, and I was more grateful for it than anything in my life to date.

"So, did you ever think you'd see this day, Padre?" Jasper asked as he walked up to me and handed me a Jack on the rocks. He and Alice had arrived two days prior to the wedding, and they were actually staying with my parents. My mother still had her crush on him, I supposed.

"Hell no. But, then again, I've done a lot of things I never imagined I'd have done. I'm married now so you can stop with the Padre shit," I joked as I nudged him with my elbow.

"Aw, now it's just a nickname. You've changed a lot since I met ya. I'd say it was for the better," Jasper observed. He was right, of course, but I wasn't going to give him any credit for it. It was all due to Bella's influence on my life. Hell, even I couldn't really take credit for the way I'd changed. It just seemed like a natural progression to me after I met her.

"Yeah, I have, but it's all due to that beautiful woman over there talking to her crazy mother. So, how'd you end up in Hartford?" I asked as we sipped our drinks before dinner.

"Well, now that's an interestin' story. Seems I made the mistake of fallin' in love with Alice Brandon and figured out that I really didn't want to be without her, and all the travel I'd been doin' in my life didn't hold the appeal for me like it used to. Love is a wicked bitch when she finds ya," Jasper confessed. I didn't hold back the laugh. He'd fought so hard against it, but I knew he was just like the rest of us…when you found the one who made your life feel complete it was useless to try to run from it.

"So, what's the plan then? You still opposed to marriage?" I asked, remembering a comment he made to Bella when we were planning our wedding after we'd returned from Alabama.

"I'd love to tell ya that I am, but that'd be a lie since the little lady and I got married on Wednesday in Las Vegas. We didn't want to upstage your hoopla, so we're keepin' it to ourselves for a while, but I guess that when she starts showin' it'll be a little tough to do," Jasper replied as he smiled in Alice's direction where she was in deep conversation with Bella's dad.

"Showing? Showing what?" I asked stupidly. Yeah, I was only half-assed paying attention to him because I was watching Bella as she was talking to Angela and Ben Cheney who had gotten married the week before us. I'd taken their engagement photos, and we'd actually gotten to be friends with them.

I looked in Jasper's direction because he hadn't answered me, and I saw him making a gesture with his hand in front of his stomach, giving me what I assumed was some sort of signal for the fact that Alice was pregnant.

"No shit?" I asked in disbelief. I thought we'd definitely have a couple of kids before Jasper and Alice ever figured their shit out, but there they were married and expecting a baby. It was a brand new day for all of us.

"That's right, she's gonna have a baby next March. She's not gonna finish the school year, but actually that's a good thing because she hates that fuckin' school. They're all pretty snooty, and she really misses it here, so we'll probably move back after the first of the year," he replied. I was sure that Bella would be happy to find out that bit of news because I knew she missed Alice a lot.

"What about your job with _National Geographic_?" I asked. I had no idea what he was actually doing for a living because I only talked to him for a few minutes when Bella called Alice.

"I'll still have to travel some, but I'm takin' a hiatus beginnin' the first of the year until the middle of next summer. I'm gonna try to find somethin' in the area. Maybe I could be a reporter for the town paper. Not much shit goes on here in town, does it?" Jasper asked.

No, Forks wasn't a hotbed of activity, so what the hell he'd write about was beyond me. The old guy who ran the paper basically just did it all himself. It only came out once a week, and shit, most weeks _that_ was too much.

"Not much happens here, which makes it a great place to raise kids," I responded. He smiled and nodded. My drink was empty, and I wanted to grab my wife and kiss her because I hadn't done so in at least fifteen minutes, so I turned to him with every intention of telling him I'd talk to him later. When I saw the look on his face, I knew there was something else going on with him.

"Why so pale, Whitlock?" I asked. The poor bastard looked like he'd seen a ghost.

"I'm scared shitless. All of this has happened so fuckin' fast that I haven't really had time to let it sink in. I don't think I'm cut out to be a husband or a father, but here I am in the thick of it," he whispered.

I put my hand on his shoulder and squeezed a little. "Look, I was scared to death when I left the seminary, but it all worked out the way it should. One of the smartest women I knew told me that God never closed a door that he didn't open a window. I'd say you just crawled through one," I offered.

He laughed and shook his head. "You know, you'd have made a hell of a priest, but I'm glad that you're my friend and that you found Bella. You two…well, you're made for each other," he replied. I nodded in agreement because I didn't think he'd ever said anything more profound in his life.

I'd learned many lessons in my life. Some of them were practical like check the gas gauge on occasion and don't poke a stick at a skunk. Some of them were spiritual like God forgives us our sins if we only ask for the forgiveness. The most important ones revolved around three words…doors…windows…faith.

Those lessons were taught to me by the woman who was my wife and would bear my children. They were likely the most profound lessons I'd ever learn. I was grateful for every lesson, but I was most grateful for the woman who'd taught me to have faith in myself.

She was my pearl, and I'd treat her as such all the days of my life. We'd go through every door and window together, and we'd always have faith in each other. That was something I'd never doubt. We had faith…and those doors and windows.

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_***sniff* There it is. The two part Epi will come along. I hope you'll review each chapter, and I'm grateful for all of you who read and don't review, though I'd love to hear from you. **_

_**Till later…xoxo**_


	14. Chapter 14

_**A/N: And, I'm posting the Epi because if the story disappears from this site, I wanted my steadies to have some closure. I love you all and appreciate your support.**_

_**SMeyer owns…I don't infringe. I borrow…**_

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14. The Epilogue: The Most Surprising Door

BELLA

"So, it's me then?" I asked as the tears pooled in my eyes. We'd started trying to conceive after we got back from our honeymoon, and one year later, I still wasn't pregnant. We were both frustrated, and after my regular doctor had suggested that we go to a specialist, Edward closed the shop, and we went to Seattle to see Dr. Gerandy, someone Carlisle knew to be an excellent fertility doctor. I almost wondered if we should have paid better attention to my mother's fertility dance. Emmett and Rosalie had a daughter, and he totally credited my mother's little dance for her.

"It's not impossible, Bella. It's just going to be a bit more challenging. Only your right ovary is functioning, so you're only fertile every other month. It's just going to take a bit of intervention from science if you're too impatient to wait for nature to take its course," Dr. Gerandy answered.

I turned to Edward and saw that his expression was blank, which caused me to actually start crying. I had no idea what he was thinking, but I was certain he was just as disappointed as I was by the news. He'd willingly subjected himself to the testing without one complaint, and I knew that, based on some of the comments he made about God punishing him, he thought it was him. It wasn't him at all. It was me.

"Okay, so what would medical intervention entail?" Edward asked as he reached into the back pocket of his jeans and pulled out a handkerchief, handing it to me and then wrapping his arm protectively around my shoulder.

"Well, there are several options…" Dr. Gerandy began as he explained them to us. All of them were pricey, I was sure, but I'd sell everything I had to be able to have a baby with Edward. It was a situation where money was no object to either of us.

After the doctor finished and gave us a fistful of pamphlets and spinning heads full of information, we gathered our things to leave. "Thank you, Dr. Gerandy. You've given us a lot to think about. We'll call you after we have a little time to do some research and talk about it," Edward told him as he stuck his hand out to shake the doctor's.

"Kids, don't get discouraged, okay? Sometimes, it happens when you stop trying, you know. Just have a little patience and…" Dr. G began.

"Faith? Yeah, we have experience with that," Edward finished his sentence. I dried my eyes and thanked the doctor, and we left his office.

In the elevator on the way down to the parking garage, Edward pulled me into his body and kissed me gently on the lips, placing his hands on both sides of my face. When we broke the kiss, he looked into my eyes, and I could see that he was concerned about me. "Listen to me. This is nobody's fault, okay? I don't like you saying that it's your fault, baby. You're my whole world, and we're in everything together. If this door is closed, you know what that means…we just have to look for the window," he stated quietly.

At that moment, I couldn't see a window. All I could see was that I was the reason we hadn't conceived, and I counted it as my failure. I knew better than to say it to him because he'd pitch a fit if I did, but that was how I felt.

We drove home in silence, not even listening to the radio. Somewhere along the way, I fell asleep. When he stroked my face, I opened my eyes, seeing that we were home. We got out of the car and walked up the back stairs to our apartment, still in silence. It wasn't because I didn't want to talk to him…I simply didn't know what to say. I felt that I should apologize to him, but I knew he'd have none of it. I had a lot to think about, and I needed to think about it alone before I voiced any opinions to him out loud.

"I think I'm going to go down to the reservation and get my classroom set up today instead of waiting for Monday. With school starting on Wednesday, I know it will be really busy on Monday and Tuesday, and you have stuff you need to do anyway, don't you?" I asked as I kicked off my flats by the door.

Edward dropped our suitcase on the floor in the living room and wheeled on me, looking very pissed off for a minute. Suddenly, his face softened and he smiled at me. "Yeah, I've got baseball photos to develop for the newspaper. I'll make dinner tonight, okay?" he asked.

He was actually quite busy between the business and the freelance work he did for the town newspaper. Jasper had actually bought into it with old Mr. Forge, and he'd expanded it from just the police blotter, classified ads, and business advertisements. He covered all sorts of things in town, including all of the pee-wee league sports and even things that occurred on the reservation which had earned the paper a greater circulation.

He and Alice lived a couple of miles away from us, and we enjoyed spending time with the two of them and their little boy, Alec. When Rosalie and Emmett came to visit with their daughter, Emily, we always had a good time. It was hard to accept that maybe Edward and I wouldn't be adding to the brood.

"Thanks honey. I'll be back in a couple of hours," I told him as I slipped my feet into a pair of brown sandals that were on the rug by the door.

I grabbed the car keys from the counter and was about to go to the front door when Edward grabbed my hand and stopped me. "I know you need time, love, and I'll give it to you, but don't you dare start taking all of this on yourself, okay? I won't stand for it, Bella. I love you, and we'll figure this out just like we do everything else," he ordered.

I wrapped my arms around his neck, stood on my toes, and kissed him softly. He wrapped his arms around me and picked me up so that we were eye level. "Thank you for giving me time. I won't get depressed about this, I promise. I just need to think about it, and we can talk tonight. I love you, too, with all my heart," I told him. He kissed me again, sweeping his tongue across my lips for entrance, which I didn't hesitate to give him. We needed to make sure that we didn't let the last bit of news come between us. I knew it had the potential because I'd heard that it had broken solid marriages apart, and I wasn't about to let that happen. Above all else, we had to make the decisions together and stick together. I had to have faith.

##

EDWARD

I had the radio on in the darkroom as I developed the pictures of the Atoms versus the Bombers game from Tuesday night. They were eight- and nine-year olds, and I loved photographing the games. Hell, I'd have done it for free, but Jasper paid me for them, which I actually appreciated in light of the news we'd received earlier in the day.

It was a shock to both of us, but I knew that my Bella would take it hard. I couldn't help but be relieved that it wasn't me, but I knew that I couldn't voice it because that would only make my beautiful wife feel worse about it. So, if we could only conceive every other month, we'd figure out what months, and hell, if I had to close the shop for the whole month and make impregnating my wife my new job, I'd do it.

As John Legend sang "Ordinary People," which was ironic to me because the song talked about a couple hitting a rough patch and my biggest fear was that Bella and I were on the precipice of one, my cell chimed in my pocket. I pulled off the rubber gloves I had on and dipped into my pocket, seeing it was my mother calling.

"Hello?" I answered. Besides my dad, she was the only person who knew that we were going to Seattle for an appointment with a fertility specialist, and I knew that she was anxious to find out what had transpired. I wasn't anxious to give her the news.

"How'd it go?" Mom asked.

"Well, it wasn't all bad news. Um, Bella only has one functioning ovary, and I guess we've just not hit the mark on timing. There are medical procedures that are possible, but we're both still just trying to process the information right now. Bella's down at the reservation setting up her classroom, and I'm in the darkroom. She needed time to think, and as much as I didn't want her to go, I had to give her space. It's not hopeless, it just might be harder," I told Mom trying to sound optimistic, not just for her sake.

I knew my parents adored my niece, Emily, and I knew they were anxious for us to add to the family. Thankfully, they didn't put too much pressure on us. It was enough that we put the pressure on ourselves without anyone else adding to it.

"Well, is there anything we can do? I mean, I know that these procedures can be expensive, so don't you two dare let that be a factor in your decision, because your dad and I will give you anything you need," Mom offered.

It wasn't a fucking surprise at all…it was exactly what I expected from her, and while I appreciated the support, I knew that my wife would have a fit if I accepted any outside help with regard to our situation. "Mom thanks, but we'll figure it out. Hopefully, it won't cause us to go bankrupt, but at this point, I know that we'll give everything we have. I'll keep you posted, okay?" I asked hoping to get off the phone with her.

"Of course, son. Just remember, we're here for the two of you," Mom told me before we hung up. I was grateful for the support once again.

##

"Mr. Cullen! Help!" I heard as I sat in the back room of the studio on the phone. I hadn't even heard the bell ring over the door, but I recognized the voice. It was Andi McIntyre, Waylon Forge's granddaughter, and if she was in my studio, obviously something was wrong. She was a shy girl who rarely said more than "hi" to me when I stopped by the paper to drop off pictures.

I knew that Jasper was down at the reservation doing a story on the first day of school, and I was due to go down at 3:00 PM to take pictures and pick up my wife. We only had one car, so I took her to school in the mornings when I needed the car, and I was just about ready to leave.

"I'll have to call you back," I told Jessica Stanley. I was trying to schedule the engagement photos for her and Mike Newton, and our schedules just weren't meshing.

I quickly hung up on her prattling ass and ran out front seeing the little blonde girl looking scared out of her wits. "Andi, what's wrong?" I asked as I rounded the counter. She grabbed my hand and dragged me out of the shop before she answered.

We ran across the street and into the newspaper office where I found Waylon on the floor unconscious. I quickly dropped to my knees and felt for a pulse, finding there wasn't one. I quickly began CPR and called to her, "Andi, call 9-1-1 and ask for an ambulance."

I heard her on the phone as I began the compressions because I wasn't going to let the man die on my watch. He was all she had as far as I knew, and if something happened to him, I had no idea what would happen to his granddaughter.

By the time the ambulance showed up, I was exhausted, and Andi was crying hysterically. I hadn't been able to call Bella because I couldn't stop what I was doing, and I was certain that she was worried about where I was. After the paramedics took over, I rose from the floor and picked up Andi, carrying her out to my car to follow the ambulance to the hospital.

I called Bella and left her a message regarding where I was, and I sat with Andi in the waiting room to wait. Thankfully, my dad was on duty, so I knew that if there was any chance that Waylon was going to make it, my dad would be the guy to save him.

Bella showed up at the hospital an hour later with Jasper. "How is he?" Jasper asked. I was still holding Andi, and she'd cried herself to sleep. I knew she was afraid, and hell, I was afraid for her. What would happen to her if Waylon died, I didn't know, but I was pretty sure it was a distinct possibility that he might not make it.

The paramedics had been able to bring him back, but not without a lot of work, and we had no idea how long his heart had been stopped. That, in and of itself, brought a whole bunch of potential problems.

"I don't know. They've been working on him for over an hour. He wasn't breathing when Andi came into the shop," I whispered.

Bella sat down next to me and pulled Andi from my lap, holding her closely and rocking her gently. Andi was almost as big as Bella, but I could see the compassion that my wife felt for the girl, and it actually brought a lump to my throat at the idea that we couldn't have a child of our own. Bella was ready to be a mother…she just needed the chance.

"What will happen to her if he dies?" Bella asked quietly as she brushed Andi's blonde locks from her face and kissed her forehead. She had met the little girl just like nearly everyone in town. We all loved her as if she was all of ours. I'd taken pictures of her and her friend, Claire, when they'd come into the shop to drop off my paper and I wasn't busy. The child was beautiful, and how she'd ended up living with her grandfather was a story that no one knew.

Eventually, word circulated through our small town and all of the merchants along Main Street showed up. Finally, Charlie walked in and sat down next to Bella. Andi was awake, but she wouldn't let go of Bella, and I had no idea what would happen to her if Waylon died or if he was incapacitated.

"Well?" Charlie asked. I nodded to Bella and she took Andi to the cafeteria to get something to eat. They'd been working on Waylon for a few hours, and my dad had stopped in to say it didn't look good. He'd had a massive heart attack, and at that point, the only thing keeping him alive were the machines to which he was connected.

After I was sure that Bella and Andi were out of earshot, I turned to Charlie and shook my head. "It doesn't look good. He wasn't breathing when I found him, and he had no pulse. They brought him back, but Dad doesn't think he's going to make it. What's going to happen to Andi?" I asked.

"I'll have to call the DCFS of Clallam County and see what we need to do," he answered. I knew it was a new situation for him to be in, but I just couldn't see any good coming of Andi being sent to a foster home after losing the only person who'd ever taken care of her as far as I knew.

"When do you have to do it? I mean, if he's not going to make it, it seems harsh to send her away so quickly," I reasoned, an idea formulating in my head. There was no doubt in my mind that Bella would go along with me, and I was prepared to argue my point with Charlie until I turned blue in the face.

Thankfully, he didn't respond the way in which I thought. "Well, if someone would take her to stay with them for a few days until we see what's going to happen with Waylon, I suppose that I could hold off calling anyone until we know something for certain," he answered vaguely.

"We will. We have that spare room. She can stay with us until we know something for sure," I volunteered. I turned to see Jasper talking to my mom, and I was glad she was there because she had a way with Charlie Swan like no one in our town.

"So?" Mom asked. I was guessing that Dad had called her.

"It doesn't look good. Bella and I are going to take Andi to our house until we find out what's going to happen with Waylon. Do you think there's any way we can get into his house to get her things?" I asked.

"Hey, I've actually got a key to his place. He and I are pretty close, and I hate to tell ya, but he don't have a Will," Jasper volunteered. It figured.

"Where are her mother and father?" Charlie asked. Obviously, the child had a mother and a father somewhere…we just needed to find them, I guessed.

"Dad's MIA, and Mom dropped her on the doorstep and disappeared when she was three. After Miss Agnes passed, it was just Waylon and Andi. He has no idea where his daughter is," Jasper responded.

Just then, Bella and Andi returned. Bella had a tray with paper cups and a coffee carafe, and Andi was carrying a bottle of water. She walked over to me and sat down on my lap, placing her head on my shoulder. It was incredible that she seemed so comfortable with us, but I wasn't going to question it.

"Are you tired, sweetheart? I can have Bella take you to your house to get some clothes and then you can stay with us until we know what's going on with your grandpa," I volunteered as I looked at my wife. Bella smiled and nodded in agreement quite vehemently.

"Okay," Andi responded in a voice that was so quiet I barely heard her. I knew she was scared, and if I was in her shoes, I could see why. The only person she'd ever known was sick, and she didn't understand it. There was no way to explain it to her, so we just had to try to take care of her as best we could.

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_**E/N: Part 2 coming up. Please let me hear from you.**_

_**Till later…xoxo**_


	15. Chapter 15

_**A/N: We've reached the end of our tale. I hope you truly enjoyed it as much as I loved writing it. These characters are dear to me, and I really hope you feel I did them justice. Thank you for reading.**_

_**SMeyer owns all…I owned the idea for this story of an almost priest and a shy school teacher who found each other on a flight from Phoenix to Seattle. I've enjoyed the ride and hope you have as well.**_

_**\\\**_

15. The Rest of the Epilogue: The Unexpected Window

##

_One Year Later_

The whole town had chipped in to pay for the funeral of Waylon Forge, and Bella and I endured the scrutiny of the social workers and endless interviews to be named as temporary guardians for Andrea Agnes Forge. It had been a fucking brutal process, and all thoughts about medical intervention in order to conceive a child of our own had been put aside in pursuit of securing that Andi could live with us permanently.

Everyone in town supported us, and we appreciated it immensely. The adoption would be final at the end of the year, but we'd been assured it was only a formality. In July when we were given the news that it would be final after Christmas, we had a huge party at my parents' place and invited nearly the whole town. We were celebrating the fact that we had a daughter who would be Andrea Agnes Forge Cullen. We were celebrating the fact that our new daughter had turned eleven. We were celebrating the fact that we had found our window and climbed through it together, just as I knew we would.

"Dad? Are you here?" I heard our daughter call as I heard the bell jingle over the door of the studio. School had just started again, and Andi was in fifth grade at Forks Elementary. The bus dropped her off in front of the shop, and she spent time with me until we went home to our new house near my parents' place.

"Back here, sweetheart," I called. At twenty-nine and twenty-seven, it was incredible that we had an eleven-year old, but we didn't let it bother us. Hearing Andi call me "Dad" always made my heart jump a little.

She walked into the office and flopped down on the couch, dropping her backpack on the floor next to her. "How was school?" I asked as I finished up the books for the month of August, always grateful that I had the business I had.

"AJ is a douche," Andi announced which caused me to pause. She was a remarkable young woman, and she had actually come out of her shell since she'd moved in with Bella and me. Hearing her call a boy a 'douche' made me want to laugh, but I knew that Bella would have my ass if I didn't scold her for the language.

"Andi, that's not very lady-like. Who's AJ, and why don't you like him?" I asked as I stowed the ledger that I had as a back-up to the books on my laptop.

"Okay, here's what happened, and if you don't agree, then you can ground me," she challenged. I nodded and then she continued as he pulled her hair up into a ponytail just like Bella.

"We're in gym class, and we're playing volleyball. I'm a spiker because I'm so tall, and Cassie Andrews sets up the perfect ball. I wait for it to come down, jump and spike it on their side of the net. It bounced off of AJ's head because he was too close to the net, and he got embarrassed, so he pulled my shorts down and everyone in class saw my underwear. Wouldn't you agree that it was douche behavior?" she asked as she kicked off her tennis shoes.

As a father, no matter how new I was at the game, I wanted to find the little bastard and beat the piss out of him because he'd embarrassed my perfect daughter. Hell, when Bella heard the story, I had no doubt in my mind that she'd be combing through the school directory to call the little prick's mother.

"Well, I have to agree with you on that count. Boys…well…we behave far differently than girls because we have very fragile egos," I reasoned, not exactly telling her what she did was wrong. She laughed just like Bella would have at my comment. There was a lot to the 'nature versus nurture' concept. Andi had a lot of Bella's mannerisms, and she had Bella's sensibilities. I was truly grateful for it because I knew that she'd never let a boy get anything over on her.

"Whatever. Anyway, we had a lecture today in Health class about diabetes, and I think Mom might have it," she commented. I perked up because if anything was wrong with Bella, I was hauling her tiny ass to a doctor as soon as possible.

"Why do you think that?" I asked as I closed my laptop.

"Well, this morning after you left to go do that thing down at First Beach, she was throwing up before breakfast. You know, she's done it a few mornings, and when I asked her about it, she mentioned that she was eating ice cream at night before bed, and she thought it elevated her sugar levels. I think we need to take her to the doctor," Andi determined.

She was so fucking smart that it amazed me, but the fact that Bella was sick had me worried. "Let's go home. I'll ask her about it. You have a field trip to Port Angeles tomorrow, right?" I asked as I rose from my desk and picked up her bag, noting how damn heavy it was.

"Yeah, we're going to some maritime museum which sounds boring," Andi responded as she closed the door to my office.

We went out the back door of the studio and hopped into the Volvo, both of us eager to get home. Bella drove a used Chevy Caprice that had belonged to the Mayor. We got a good deal on it, and she didn't fuss about it. I was just happy that it ran well.

We weren't wealthy by any stretch, but we had a good life. We had a daughter that neither of us planned on, and we had a great house. I couldn't have asked for more.

##

BELLA

I walked into the house and heard my two favorite people in the kitchen cooking. For a hot minute, it smelled incredible…that was until my stomach flipped, and I made a bee-line for the bathroom. I had no fucking idea what was wrong with me. I'd actually fainted at school that day and had to lie down in the nurse's office while Sue Clearwater, the principal, sat with my class. It was humiliating to say the least.

After I brushed my teeth, I changed out of my skirt and blouse and threw on a t-shirt and shorts because it was hot as hell in the house. I strolled into the kitchen seeing Andi making a salad as Edward stirred something on the stove.

"Hello, loves," I called happily. It was a miracle that we had her, and I was so very grateful. I made sure that we went to Mass every Sunday to thank God for Andi's presence in our life.

"Hey, babe. Didn't hear you come in. How was school?" Edward asked as he put a lid on the pot he was stirring and walked over to me, pulling me into a hug.

"It was fine, but I think I've got a virus or something. I got sick again, and I think I have a fever. Based on the way the two of you are dressed, it's not blast-furnace hot in here," I announced. Andi was in jeans and a t-shirt, and Edward was wearing khakis and a long-sleeved shirt, and I could hear the air conditioner blowing when I walked down the hallway.

He held his hand to my cheek and then my forehead, and there was a look of concern on his face. "You're awfully flushed. Do you have a headache?" he asked. Andi had quit making the salad and walked over to where I was standing, taking my hand and staring at me intensely.

"No, but I did faint today at school. I had to lie down in the nurse's office for a while because I was so light headed. I'm thinking it has something to do with throwing up. Maybe I'm dehydrated," I speculated. Hell, I had no idea what it could be. I didn't feel any achiness or anything, so I really was at a loss as to what was wrong.

"Tell her, Dad," Andi ordered. I saw the concern on her face, and I knew that the possibility of either of us being ill scared the hell out of her because of losing Waylon. I didn't want her to worry because I was sure whatever the hell was wrong with me was only short term.

"Um, Andi said that they talked about diabetes in Health class today, and she thinks that you might be diabetic. Have you been throwing up in the mornings?" Edward asked. It had only happened a couple of times, and I blamed it on the incredible sweet tooth I was developing. I wasn't really a sweets person, but over the last week, I'd been craving something sweet before bed. I didn't know much about diabetes, but I knew that eating sweets late at night had made me nauseous the next morning when I was a kid.

"Only the last couple of mornings, but I don't think I'm diabetic," I answered.

"I think we should call Grandpa and have him come over," Andi suggested, referring to Carlisle.

"Oh, now, that's silly. I'll just go to the clinic on the reservation tomorrow and see if one of the docs can check me out. I think Dr. Fisher is scheduled to be there tomorrow, and I like her," I suggested.

"If you don't go tomorrow, I'm going to call Dad. If there's something wrong, I damn well want to know it," Edward threatened. I chuckled and went to the stove to see what was for dinner. Suddenly, I was starving.

##

"Well, Bella, congratulations," Dr. Tanya Fisher called to me. After I'd described my symptoms to her, she insisted on running a pregnancy test, even though she knew our problems relating to being able to conceive. I knew I was speechless at what she'd just said because if I was hearing her right, I was, indeed, pregnant.

"But I can't be," I finally announced in a disbelieving whisper. We'd both resigned ourselves to the fact that since we couldn't have a baby of our own, God had answered our prayers for a family by bringing Andi into our lives. I hadn't gone back on the pill because it seemed worthless, and my periods had been sort of erratic for quite a while so the fact that I was late didn't even faze me. I'd long given up hope that late periods meant the possibility of pregnancy.

"Oh, but you _are_. Since you don't remember when your last period was, you'll need to have an ultrasound to determine how far along you are, but you're definitely pregnant," Dr. Fisher reiterated.

I was sitting in a damn paper gown on an exam table with my hands on my lap in shock. She walked over to where I sat and put her hand on my forearm to get my attention, and when I looked at her, she smiled. "Bella, just because you had a little trouble trying to get pregnant doesn't mean that there's any reason to believe that your pregnancy will be anything other than normal. You're young, and you have no history of any problems like tumors or cysts. For whatever reason, you only have one functioning ovary, but your uterus and all of your pap-smears to date have been normal. I'd say you take a few deep breaths, get dressed and go tell Edward the good news. Call my office and schedule an appoint for the first of the week, and we'll get a due date and do some blood work to be sure everything's okay," she instructed.

Then something occurred to me. "How accurate is a urine test?" I asked nervously, still in disbelief that I was actually pregnant.

"Well, your levels are elevated which give the indication that you're pregnant, but I can do a quick pelvic if you need more confirmation," Tanya suggested. I nodded.

"I can't go home and tell Edward that I'm pregnant, only to find out in a few days that it's something else altogether. That would break his heart," I told her. She knew my history because she was my regular gynecologist. It was strictly a coincidence that she was the doctor visiting the reservation that day, but maybe it wasn't as coincidental as I thought. Maybe it was a door…

Fifteen minutes later, I walked out of the clinic with a prescription for vitamins and a fist full of brochures regarding pregnancy. It had indeed been confirmed, and she guessed that, based on the size of the fetus…baby…I was about eight weeks along which meant that I probably conceived right after we found out that Andi's adoption would be final at the end of the year.

I climbed into my Caprice and sat for a minute, just taking it all in. We went from never thinking we'd have any children to having an eleven-year old daughter and a baby on the way. It was miraculous. I drove home to find that Edward and Andi weren't home yet, so I pulled out my cell and sent a text to him because I was busting with the news.

_Where are you two? I'm home early – B x_

I quickly changed into jeans and a t-shirt, and pulled out the chicken I'd put in the fridge that morning to cook for dinner. Just as I was about to pull it out of the butcher's paper, my cell buzzed on the counter. I quickly washed my hands and picked it up to see a text from Edward.

_WE R THE SOCCER FLDS 4 DAD 2 TAKE PIX. B HOME SOON-MAFC_

I laughed. Andi didn't have her own cell phone, but she loved using Edward's to text. We'd talked about it and decided that we'd wait and give her one for Christmas after a long discussion on responsibility and appropriateness. She was a very smart girl so we were sure that she'd be fine with it, but we'd decided not to crumble to the "everybody else has one" pressure that she'd pulled. We might be new to parenting and adolescence, but we both remembered how we used to play our parents, and we were determined not to spoil her too much…if that was possible.

I looked at the chicken and quickly decided that there was no way I could handle cooking it, so I tossed it back in the fridge, pulled on sneakers, and walked over to the soccer fields that weren't too far from our house.

I saw Edward trying to corral what appeared to be twenty boys and girls who looked like they were about six, and I was actually impressed that he seemed to have their attention. I put my hand on my stomach and smiled. I knew he was going to be so happy about the baby, and I hoped that Andi was as well.

That was another thing I thought about on the walk over…would Andi worry that a new baby would be loved more than her because she was adopted. That was something we'd need to talk to someone about because I had no idea how the news would be met.

I walked over to the bleachers where she was sitting with her homework spread out and sat down. "Hi Sweetie," I announced, startling her. It was then that I noticed that she had in earbuds and was listening to her iPod that we'd bought her for her birthday back in the summer.

"Hi, Mom. Did you go to the doctor today?" she asked. I wasn't surprised at her question because I knew she was worried about me. The poor child had lost so much in her life, and I imagined it was a constant concern to her that she'd lose more people in her life. There was no way that was going to happen.

Since Waylon didn't have a Will, the Probate Court appointed Jasper as the executor of his estate which wasn't much. Jasper had bought out Waylon's half of the paper, and we'd sold his house down by the river. All of the money was in a trust for Andi for when she was older, and we were happy that there was enough for her to go to college without student loans, and still have some left over to start her life after college.

"I went to the doctor, and I'm perfectly healthy, Miss Worry Wart. Now, I was going to make chicken, but I thought maybe we could go out for pizza instead. You don't have school tomorrow, so maybe we can go cosmic bowling after if you'd like," I suggested, tossing the cosmic bowling thing in at the last minute. One thing I was pretty sure of was that we needed to spend as much time as just the three of us before the baby came along so that Andi would know that we loved her as much as the lima bean that was growing inside of me. That night would be all about her, and the news about the baby could wait another day.

"Cool. Can Claire come?" she asked. Claire was her friend from school who Andi declared was her "BFF." Thankfully, Claire's parents, Eric and Lauren Yorkie, were nice people who had known Andi for a long time, and they, like us, enjoyed having both girls around.

"I don't care. Send her a text, and if you want, she can spend the night," I suggested as I held out my phone. I saw the light in her bright blue eyes when she saw it. Christmas was going to be great for a lot of reasons.

I saw Edward high-fiving the little boys and girls which signaled to me that he was finished, so I walked out on the field where he was packing up and stopped behind him, putting my hands over his eyes. "Hmm…well, you smell like my wife, but she's probably still at school, so I'm going to guess it's my fantasy girl, Natalie Portman," he teased. Since he'd seen the movie with her and Ashley Judd about giving birth to a baby in a Walmart, he teased me that he'd like to be the meat in a Natalie/Ashley sandwich. I told him to go for it…I'd just hunt down the Ryans…Gossling and Reynolds…and have my own sandwich.

"You wish, jackass," I whispered into his ear, and I took my hands from his eyes and shoved him so that he lost his balance and ended up on his ass in the dirt. He was laughing, but not hard enough _not_ to pull me down with him.

"To what do I owe this surprise?" he asked as he held me on his lap and kissed me sweetly.

_Wait till tomorrow…the news won't be any less exciting tomorrow._ "I went to see Tanya this afternoon, and they had a sub for my class, so I came home early. Andi sent me a text that you were here, so I walked over. I was going to fix chicken for dinner but I had an idea…how about we take Andi and Claire for pizza and then cosmic bowling?" I suggested.

"What did Tanya say?" he asked.

I didn't want to lie to him, but I was going to go with the same half-truth that I'd given Andi earlier. "I'm fine. Must have just been a passing thing," I answered. Well, it was a small lie, but I'd go to confession tomorrow evening and say my penance. I was pretty sure that since God had given us the miracle, he'd understand my position.

"Good. Yeah, that sounds fun. Help me pack up, will you?" he asked. I got up from the ground, and experienced a bit of a head rush, swaying on my feet a little. It reminded me that Tanya had mentioned that I should eat several smaller meals a day to keep from having the light headedness.

"Whoa…are you sure you're fine?" Edward asked as he hopped up from the ground and grabbed me.

"I am…just a head rush. Come on," I instructed as I folded the tripod while he gathered his camera bags and took my hand, leading me back over to the bleachers where Andi was texting away furiously.

"We'll have to get an unlimited texting plan, you know," I whispered as we watched her.

Edward laughed. "I already added it when I paid the last bill. We just need to find out what kind of phone she wants and add her to the plan. You do realize that the first few months are going to be spent looking at the top of her head and yelling at her to put it away, right?" he suggested.

That time, I laughed. I was far too used to the visual. I was pretty sure that most of the next generation was going to have humps on their backs from looking at their cell phones so much. "We'll just set down the rules and enforce them. She's a good girl, honey. I don't think we'll have too much of a problem," I answered. Hell, I hoped I was right.

##

EDWARD

"I'll pick you up at the soccer field tomorrow morning," Bella informed Andi as she and Claire got out of the car at the Yorkies' home. We'd taken the girls for pizza and bowling, and since Claire had an early game the next morning, Eric and Lauren suggested that the girls stay at their house so that Claire didn't have to haul all of her gear over to our house. I'd been more than happy with the arrangement because it was a pretty rare occurrence that Bella and I had a night alone.

There was a bottle of her favorite red wine in the cabinet, and I decided that a nice night of romance was just what the doctor ordered…especially since she'd been to the doctor that afternoon and found out she wasn't ill. It was a huge fucking relief to me. I'd imagined all sorts of doomsday scenarios, and I was grateful that it was just wasted energy on my part.

After hugs and kisses, we left and started toward the house. "So, Mrs. Cullen, I was thinking that since we have this unexpected night alone, we could turn on some soft music, open up a bottle of wine, light a few candles…what do you think?" I asked as I took her hand and kissed it.

"Um, yeah, uh, that sounds great. Well, except the wine. I'm still full from dinner," Bella responded without too much enthusiasm. She had eaten four pieces of pizza which surprised me, but considering she hadn't eaten much the prior few days, I chalked it up to being hungry. Turning down the wine, though, wasn't like her.

"Okay, but, is there something you're not telling me? Don't put too much into this, but you like your red wine," I responded as I pulled out of the Yorkies' driveway.

"Thanks for making me sound like a damn alcoholic, Edward. Let's just get home," she called sounding a little pissed, which worried me because my desire to get her in to bed and make love to her wouldn't go over very well if I pissed her off.

"Sorry," I mumbled as I drove across town and pulled into our driveway. We parked the car and made our way inside the house. I had no idea what, exactly, to say because I didn't want her angry, so I pulled the mail from the box on the front of our house and walked inside behind her, sorting it as we went.

"There's a letter from your mom. Have you talked to her lately?" I asked. Renee Dwyer was the oddest character I'd ever met in my life, but I truly cared about her. She had a good heart and a kind spirit, and although she and I didn't see eye-to-eye on many things, she was a genuinely kind person who meant no harm to anyone.

"No, but I anticipate a call to her in the near future. Now, um, I need to talk to you about something important. We can talk in the tub, if you'd like," she offered. I didn't really hear anything beyond the point at which she suggested we get naked together.

"Sure," I told her. I walked back to the bathroom and turned on the water in the tub, squeezing in the bubble bath that she loved and waiting for her to join me. I stripped my clothes off and tossed them in the hamper, and I waited.

Bella came into the bathroom with a glass of wine for me and a bottle of water for herself that I found odd, but I didn't hesitate to take them from her so that she could strip for me…well, she was just stripping, but I was watching every move she made.

After she was gloriously naked, she climbed into the water with me and settled into the bubbles. "So, um, I have more information regarding my doctor's visit today that I didn't share because, well, I'm not sure how Andi will take it. I don't want her to freak out about it, and I know you're going to be panicked, so I didn't say anything," she began.

_That_ caught my attention. If there was something wrong with her, I wanted to know, and I wasn't feeling very good about the entire thing. I put my glass of wine down on the floor outside the tub, and took her water from her, waiting for an explanation. "So?" I prodded, cocking an eyebrow at her for her to just get on with it and lower the boom, as it were.

"Yeah, um, you know how Dr. G said that we would have a problem conceiving, and well, he wasn't exactly wrong on that front. And then, we were blessed with Andrea, so we sort of just put it out of our minds. Well, um, apparently, God's offered us another window. I'm pregnant," she told me.

I waited for her to laugh and tell me that she was joking, but when she jumped from the tub and bent over the toilet, emptying her stomach inside of it, she had my full attention.

"Uh, what?" I asked because I couldn't possibly believe my own ears. I couldn't have heard her tell me that she was going to have a baby. That wasn't supposed to happen, and I actually wondered if I was dreaming because it _was_ a dream.

"Look at me. We're going to have a baby," she responded forcefully. I swallowed and took in her appearance as she stood at the sink and brushed her teeth. When she finished, she climbed back into the tub and sat facing me with a beaming smile on her face that told me everything I needed to know. A baby? Hell…I'd reconciled myself it might never happen, but what she was telling me was incredible.

I pulled her closer and looked into those same eyes I'd seen that day when we'd flown on that flight from Phoenix to Seattle. She wasn't lying, and I was completely stunned. "You're sure?" I asked as I swallowed the lump in my throat because it was news I was never certain I'd hear.

"Yeah," she answered as she wrapped her arms around my neck and held me. I took a minute, like I was sure any other man in my position would do, and then, well, I yelled, "Hell yes!"

She laughed and hugged me. "I guess that means you're happy?" she asked.

"Oh, Mrs. Cullen, I'm stunned. Yes, I'm very happy. What do we have to do?" I asked as I held her on top of me in the tub, listening to her telling me everything that the doctor had told her. I was happier than I thought I'd ever been in my life, and I showed her that night when I took her to bed and made love to my wife. It was the best news in the world.

##

As pregnancies went, from what I was told, Bella's was great. She was healthy and happy, and Andi took the news in stride, just as I imagined she would. Cecilia Faith was born at 1:00 AM on a Sunday morning, which seemed fitting to me because she was a miracle baby. I went to the chapel at the hospital and pulled out my rosary beads that I hadn't touched in too long, and I prayed, thanking God for my daughters, for my wife's good health, and for the life I had.

It wasn't at all what I expected, but it was certainly a blessing to me. In my opinion, there was not a more blessed man on the face of His earth. I had my family and my faith was restored. There were indeed doors and windows that we'd traversed, and faith had guided us along the way.

That faith was what brought us Andi and Ceci. We were doubly blessed, and I was thankful. My life was a gift, as was everyone in it, and I'd never take any aspect of it for granted. There was something to be said about those doors and windows. With faith, I'd traversed every one, finding each more surprising than the other. It was a glorious surprise that I'd cherish forever, just like my family. I had faith that we'd all be fine.

FIN

_**E/N: So…I'm teary eyed as I read the end of it because I loved this story so much. I'd love to hear what you thought about it. **_

_**I'll keep posting "Trip" but I might take a break from posting anything new because I'm pretty sure y'all are sick of me by now and maybe absence makes the heart grow fonder. **_

_**Thank you for reading and reviewing. I really appreciate your words.**_

_**As always, for the last time…xoxo**_


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